easier

easier

on loop: #41 ~ DMB

i remember times in life when it was as if i was just "waiting to exhale". when i was perpetually on hold for something that's supposedly better, or something i thought i had always wanted. in looking out for that something, i had set my sights too far out from the present and neglected to see just where i was really headed. i hadn't realized i was living a zero-quality life because i had always felt incomplete and on the verge of the next big thing that would truly make everything okay and worth the while.

but now! how different things have become. even i am surprised at this whole new perspective i have gained. i never thought i would see the day that i would feel this way. it's difficult to explain, but i'll try. and i think the best word to describe it is "free". i feel free. light, happy, unburdened. i was weighing myself down all this time... i was the poster child for hang-ups and emotional baggage. bluntly put, it's like waking up and realizing you don't love someone anymore. confusing, especially since that someone has figured so prominently in your life and you've tried every trick in the book to, say, let go and move on but just can't... and suddenly, now it's all done and over with. with no cocnrete reason or with no gargantuan conscious effort to bring it about.

there's just no pain, no more anger, or sadness, or longing... there's even no more love (as what it used to be). maybe a little care, but just the token concern you have for people you know in general. WHEN I THINK OF YOU, THERE IS NOTHING ANYMORE. not in the sense that i have a dull empty ache inside of me or whatever, there just is nothing. NO EMOTIONS. it's as if i just remembered a random someone i used to be in school with, or a neighbor or something. so disconnected. probably the only sentiment i have is a bit of melancholy.. not to be mistaken for regret, but just that ho-hum sedate feeling mixed with nostalgia and a bit of sadness. kindof like remembering an old toy or a favorite park or restaurant as a child, and finding out it's no longer there.

so to YOU, the one i thought was the one for me... thank you for the memories. the many years that you have graced my life, be it with good or with not-so-good moments, have really been among the best i have had. what i, and at certain points we, have gone through will prove to be pivotal moments in this life of mine. instances and experiences that have helped define who i am. and what greater gift can you give anyone than to influence their lives in such a way that you help them know themselves better? i have loved with more than my whole heart, and maybe the fact that i finally gave it my all... my honest-to-goodness everything, and still ended up on the sidelines waiting, helped me find a path to healing.

you were on a pedestal, untouchable by anyone and perfect in every way. i wasn't blind, some parts of you just shone too bright for me to see the others that were a bit tarnished. but still. i suppose when i look back, you will always be that one true love i once had. and i will feel fondness for your memory, and maybe have a little smile over that period in our lives because in truth? i think it was great :) everything was great. i'm sure we won't forget each other, and maybe one of these days we could get together and end up trading "war stories" and laughing about it. anyhoo, i wish you the best and i am praying for your happiness and peace. i'll see you around.

close call

close call

on loop: the pieces don't fit anymore ~ james morrison

ARGGH. soo stressfuullllll! i thought i've lost this blog forever. i couldn't access it since this morning, and i've tried everything to retrieve it. apparently, it was removed for some god forsaken reason. but now it's back!!!! RELIEF. i didn't realize the posts in here meant so much to me. i mean, i haven't even been here in, like, 2 years minimum. but it felt totally and unexpectedly crappy when i thought i'd never be able to get into this blog again. i mean, the stuff in here are tantamount to about 4 years of my life i think. and those 4 years are years that changed a lot in me. now, i've never been the type to talk much and i'm not the share-y yappy kind so i tend to keep my thoughts to myself. and to this blog. it would be nice to look back and see how far i've come (or maybe not.. so far. but still). which is precisely what i've always meant this blog to be for.

anyway, that felt like a close call. and i'm just so relieved and thankful to even be back :) LOVE IT.

coming home

coming home

on loop: much has been said ~ bamboo

before anything else...

HAPPY 2006, Everyone!!!

that being said and done... I'M BACK! i missed blogspot a lot. i ended up changing the layout in here again. as usual, it's still all loose on some ends but will do the tweaking next time (the bg image takes eons to load and the headers are a mess. tch). just wanted a new look for the new year. anyway, i see myself coming back here REAL soon.

for now, i'm still at livejournal. visit me there! click right HERE to get there :)

what's new... well, been busy with a lot of things. general life stuff hehe. hope Christmas was good to you all... and that you all prayed and offered up due thanks ;) i'm SO excited for the new year, i really can't wait. i feel like a phoenix (you know, the whole rebirth thing and stuff)! haha just kidding, it's the fatigue talking (had a long week) :) well, gotta jet for now. hope everything's been good for everyone!

awww

awww

on loop: dirty harry ~ gorillaz

i miss this blog. i feel like i've been on lj too long. so i'm just dropping by to say hi :)

whaddaya know...

whaddaya know...

on loop: changes ~ 2pac

that's just the way it is... things will never be same ~ changes, 2pac

today's one big box of surprises! and thank God, they were all very pleasant ones. some of them are:

a new friend. it's very rare for me to find fast friends 'coz it usually takes me time to warm up to anyone new. usually, i'm detached (but not to a point that i'm rude... still friendly old me) but i was pretty comfortable this time around and you know what they say about meeting someone you feel you've already known for years, despite that being a first encounter? right on.

a free cut. the prof for my 3-hour class today didn't show up. though i was a bit bummed 'coz i did get up early after staying up till 4am reading the 70-page handout for today's discussion, a free cut is a free cut :)

a surprise show. this was a totally unexpected treat... i didn't know that we were supposed to attend this ceremony for the alliance of women colleges blah blah, but since i got a cut and didn't really want to go home just yet, i ended up getting a ticket to see this ceremony with a blockmate. it was great! there were inspirational speakers,. some dancing and singing, and best of all cheerdancing! squads from the member schools (exclusive colleges like miriam, assumption, st.paul, etc.) performed, and they were really all good! i love cheerdancing :) their energy (at 10 in the morning on a saturday was very contagious) perked up my day. plus they served a really really YUM brunch. all for 50 bucks. yeh mehn.

nostalgia. minus any melancholy. finally got to meet up with my friends from work! grabe na-miss ko yung mga mokong. it was a complete laugh trip all the way. though it kinda sucked 'coz i got a migraine attack (i get REALLY bad ones, believe me) just after dinner with them and was forced to go home, i cherished every single minute i had with them.

livejournal rebirth. i received a newsletter via email from lj and i remembered i had signed up for an account sometime this month last year! felt my way through all the configurations (to no avail, i think ;p) and had a ball being confused and frustrated! haha no sarcasm there, i actually enjoyed it. and do check it out if you have the time: clickie! and maybe you'd like to help me answer some questions about it (like, how can i get a transparent body box? so the bg image shows through ;p) while you're at it.

ukay2. technically, this isn't part of today but it still got some laughs out of me during the day. the play was hilarious! very well done :) plus the catered food was great. and i got a whole bunch of new jokes pa! haha ayos. best 80 bucks i may have spent ever.

red letter days. i have more to look forward to! not just the 14th, but also dec 1 and dec 22! yehey haha :) almost knocked myself out when i found out (though figuratively, of course hehe). magiging merry na talaga Christmas ko ;p

migraine's gone. i mean c'mon, who wouldn't be glad to get rid of the nausea and dizziness?

friendster messages. never really appreciated these till lately... and today more than ever! :D

Take it slow

Maybe we'll live and learn

Maybe we'll crash and burn

Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,

Maybe you'll return

Maybe you'll never find

Maybe we won't survive

But maybe we'll grow

You never know

~ ordinary people, john legend

can't help it

can't help it

on loop: the blower's daughter ~ damien rice

i know i promised myself i'd tone down already but i just have to say that i'm really really happy!!! i can't wait for december 14 :D :D :D it's a sign!

anyway.

yun lang naman. i'm watching a play in miriam on friday 7pm entitled ukay2 (the 2's supposed to be squared) and it's about the pinoy laypstayl! astig yun. 80 pesos only with free pinoy streetfood at the entrance (before and after the play). i've seen excerpts of their rehearsals and it's super kwela and funny. la lang. even if i've got an early class the next day, i still wanna go see it! refreshing change from the usual weekend movie. tara, nood tayo :)

also, i'm sure most of you have heard that an eraserheads tribute album is set to be released on tuesday 7pm at the UP theater, entitled Electromagneticjam which features all the artists who collaborated to revive eraserheads hits. i like the eraserheads and all but i didn't really want to watch. now for some reason, parang gusto ko na ( ba't kaya? :D ) tickets are at 300 pesos but this comes with a copy of the album already. not a bad deal naman diba? tara, nood din tayo nun.

i can't wait for the 14th!!! lapit na rin pala pasko... i dunno how i feel about that. masaya na excited na bored na malungkot na ewan na wala lang. labo ah :P wala lang. weird ko shet.

boorredd

booorreedd

on loop: keep on hoping ~ raul midon

i'm now pretty sure that i have a sleeping problem. it's been more than a month now since i seriously can't sleep at night. i am most awake from 11pm till 7am. it may not be so uncommon, but it's becoming such a problem for me already. because i get really sleepy around 730 or 8 in the mroning when i'm supposed to be up and about already. it's like i'm suffering from a nightmare case of jet lag. as much as i try to not sleep during the day, drink milk, tire myself out considerably, lay in bed peacefully, even read a book, i still can't get myself to sleep. it all came so sudden actually. malala na 'to :(

***

i realized that i use 'hehe' too much. in blogging, when i text, and in YM. it's like a habit formed within my subconscious... what i have to say sometimes does not seem complete without it, for what reason i do not know. i'm just getting irritated at it. weird ko 'no? (and as much as i want to put a 'hehe' right about now, i will refrain myself from doing so). i think i'm losing my screws. really.

***

some of blockmates from admu before said that they were part of this month's bazaar in miriam. if i understood it correctly, sila mismo ang magbebenta and magbabantay ng stall nila so they were asking me to drop by. cool! atleast i'll get to see them (for the duration of this week atleast). hope they won't ask me to buy anything though, i'm broke hehe (had to get that in). buti pa sila, senior project na for LM... i'm still stuck with natsci and psych and stat and all that crummy stuff i've already gone through. sigh. consequences nga naman oo.

***

another school week up ahead so i won't be online that much (unless i really have to), kaya blog na ako ng blog. wala lang. and one last thing, remember that no matter how "champion" anyone feels at any given point in his/her life albeit at the expense of others, in the end, only the real winners who worked hard and clean for their prize get to enjoy their victory. just a random thought :) oh and watch "bahay mo ba 'to?" on gma 7 tonight (tuesday, 10pm)... they're going to be there.

tit for tat

tit for tat

on loop: geek in the pink ~ jason mraz (i really like this song hehe)

jason mraz is coming to the philippines! la lang :) i'm not sure when, but if i remember correctly, it's going to be this january. i want to go watch hehe.

***

i have statistics this sem... and i admit i need help. it's confusing me! :(

***

finally, after years of probably being the only person i know to not have read a single HP book, i have given in and read the fourth one (hangover from the movie, i guess). i didn't do it the "right way" by starting with the first one and plodding my way through till the sixth, but hey, it's a start. began this weekend and hopefully i'll be able to finish it before the week ends. it's true what everyone's been saying that a whole lot of the book was chopped off from the screenplay, but it's a faithful adaptation of it nonetheless :) now wish i had more time to go and read the other installments as well...

***

been a long time since i last posted lyrics in here. so out of a whim, here goes:

starting today ~ natalie imbruglia

Starting today
I'm not gonna waste another moment
Even if I had the chance before
I would have blown it
But you took me by surprise
And you caught me just in time

Everyday, you give me reason not to walk away
I stop believing that the world's gone crazy
And if it is, you'll save me

Starting today
I'm not gonna worry about tomorrow
I'll wash away

All this fear that's left me feeling hollow
Cause you made me wanna try
And you caught me just in time

Everyday, you give me reason not to walk away
I'll stop believing I should run like crazy
Cos if I did, you'd chase me anyway

I should have told you so many times
But I shied away
Somehow you always seem to be there

Making it easy
And you give me reason to stay
Everyday, Everyday, Everyday

Oh everyday
I'll stop believing that I should run like crazy
Cos if I did, you'd chase me anyway
You give me reason not to walk away
I stop believing that the world's gone crazy
And if it is, you'll save me

Starting today
I'm not gonna waste another moment.

***

the skin/flesh (?) on the side of the nail of my left ring finger is swollen. for three days now. and i don't know why. could i have gotten a splinter in it? la lang... just a bit alarmed hehe.

rubbish! (hehe)

rubbish! (hehe)

on loop: i'm yours ~ jason mraz

argh. how so frustrating. my blockmate before from ateneo, jr, finally confirmed it. dino concepcion really is in ateneo. he said that dino was taking up just one socsci elective. shyet d pwet mehn. i should have listened to jr and took up soc sci na din like him, baka maging ka-elective ko pa si dino! (i would have found a way to make that happen... ehehe). i've had the many months behind me to mull over the loss and regret i've harbored ever since leaving ateneo. bit by bit and piece by piece, i've grovelled my way into accepting the consequences of my action. i've gotten past each and every reason for me to regret my decision, and though it still bites sometimes, i felt that the worst is over. but now that i have another reason to wish i was still there, it sort of brings back all the other rotten things. argh again.

quite a superficial concern, but then again i was never good at articulating just how it is i feel. i'm too kenkoy a person to be serious about anything, unless someone else initiates it. anyway, i just needed to vent... hopefully i'll get it out of my system soon. when i first found out from my very good friend that dino was in ateneo (seen both during reg and on the first day of classes), i could hardly believe my ill luck. and perhaps a small part of me was hoping that my friend was wrong (though in the back of my head i knew my friend was most probably right), but i guess it really is true since my blockmate confirmed it already. ngerks talaga. i need to get over this. spoken like the true unstable mind that i am... *sarcasm* harhar. anyway jr, thanks for the news ha hehe :)

on the other hand, enough na nga about dino. insubstantiated queries only lead to idle thoughts. so eto, harry potter na lang ulit. i think it deserves more than just one paragraph from me, dagdagan natin. hrmmm. aside from the fact that i find this to be the best HP installment so far, i also commend the acting on this one and the direction and the sound engineering! galing. there were also more humor and wit injected into the movie as compared to all other HPs. i find the twin brothers of ron really really entertaining. kukulet. and the fact that they had scenes which really did pave the way for the fifth book shows some foresight on the part of the director, and would probably lead to a smoother transition. it's a movie worth watching numerous times! sulit money.

and though many are complaining that the movie was not faithful to the events of the book, i still think that it was great by itself. one should really quit comparing the book to the movie, since they are after all, different types of media. a bit of trivia: the original plan was to have two movies for the fourth book since it really is too long to fit into one but they decided that though it was lengthy, it would not be substantial enough to account for two movies. so they stuck to one and made it harry-centric, and just kindof shadowed the other peoples' characters (unless directly related to the events for harry). basta. the movie is very enjoyable, as most of you would most probably agree with. and i regress... i like cedric na nga better than krum! hehe. krum's a bit of a hrmmmm... sige, stoic na lang hehehe. even if diggory is prettier than fleur, or almost any other girl i know for that matter, i still like him hehe. but harry is still, of course, the best (right, lisa? hehe baka sakalin mo ko if i don't say that eh hehe jk).

anyway. i feel better having vented. I WISH I WISH I WISH I WISH I WISH that... that... yeah, wag na nga. that's that. basta eto na lang, i'm excited for Christmas, though not as much i would have been as a kid. i think age takes away a big part of our imagination and fervor for the magic brought about by holidays and stuff. but that's off-topic. couldn't resist blogging again this day. anyway (again). makita ko lang si dino sa katipunan... shyets (haha ang jologs), ewan ko na lang. my friend from work said nga before na that was actually better to have him be in admu 'coz then, he's actually closer to me. not as close as i would have wanted him to be (if i were still in admu, that is), but still... it most definitely is still in close proximity. so wag na daw ako umangal. honestly, i don't care. being thrilled from just being in the same strip of road that he could be in is actually really really lame and sad (kung same school, pwede pa! hehe joke ;p). i'm not that pathetic naman eh hehe. basta. so much for that. gotta go.

fast track

fast track

on loop: tears in my eyes ~ ub40 (but i like bmr's version better harhar favoritism)

it's been a long and eventful week :) lemme skim through the nice happenings (that i can still recall hehe), and let's not dwell on the ugly things that happened. anyway:

school's in full swing already. so far, so good. i don't think i've ever been this active before hehehe. i need to get good grades again this sem, maybe i could be eligible for scholarship etc.

went to g4 last night and we watched harry potter and ate in heaven 'n eggs (sarap dito!). the movie was really good! i liked it a lot... and i liked victor krum a lot too :p hahaha. but cedric's cute too (and made me cry tsk tsk darn). then went drinking in katips then in... of all places, alabang! in the house of my friend's cousin :) he lived so far but was nice enough to convoy us so we wouldn't get lost. thankfully, we got home safely as well hehe. had fun, thanks!

went to see bmr in 70's bistro again last thursday. *sigh* bait talaga nila, especially their drummer dennis. and super galing (no bias? hehe)! speaking of bmr, can someone please confirm to me if DINO CONCEPCION is really in ateneo?!? either as a student or a prof or a janitor or whatever, i just heard that he's there daw. tsk tsk. i can send you a picture or something if you wanna know what he looks like hehe (psycho ;p). if ever he is, sana naman someone i know from ateneo knows him din ehehehe :D para shortcut haha.

didn't have classes yesterday and today so i'm enjoying my momentary freedom. my blockmate from ateneo was also texting last thursday and asking if i could possibly hang out with them, sayang kasi i was sick that day and rushed home to get some rest for BMR that night hehehe. i miss my old blockmates so much :( i promise we should get together again soon.

speaking (again) of get-togethers, my friends from work are having one on the 26th! cheesy but they wanted to kindof celebrate a year of friendship (we all met last year nov 28). i can't wait and i miss them as well. i'm glad that we all still talk and stuff even if most of us have gone our own separate ways already.

last but not the least, it was my dad's birthday last wednesday!!! hurray :) i love you, daddy (didn't really get to tell him that since i'm not very vocal or showy or anything like that, so dito na lang hehe). had a simple dinner with all of his favorite dishes. bea helped me pick out his gifts as well and she also wrapped them for me (kahit islaytly OC hehe, pero ang ganda naman! naks ;p thanks). he told me his birthday wish and that made me cry. ayayay. i'll just keep it to myself for now what it is he asked for.

what else? plenty small and minor events as well... but not worth mentioning, i guess. i'll keep it to myself na lang. kinda lazy and secretive lately. not because i want to keep things to myself but because i'm kindof getting tired already of things. it's so exhausting to keep reliving certain events, might as well just forget about them especially if they're inconsequential or rubbish. harhar.

i still don't have classes on mondays so my sched's pretty great. it'll also give me some time to stock up on all the medicines and vitamins that make people sleepy, 'coz i'm (STILL) sick and i can't take my meds during school coz i don't wanna doze off during class. so there. sige, tulog muna ako hahaha :) have a good week everyone.

pweh

pweh

on loop: sige ~ six cycle mind

first day of school was last tuesday, but i was only able to come to class thursday. been sick. rough... since i've got a whole lot of catching up to do already and school has barely started. sucks.

i've got so much on my mind right now. dami ko actually problema... semi-crisis point. but i'll deal :) ako pa. sometimes, it kinda helps to just sleep it off.

i missed going to school. it's fun to actually be thinking again hehe. now if only i could finally resurrect my normal sleeping habits, i could be all set.

eoow neow *british accent kunware*

eoow neow (oh no) *british accent kunware*

on loop: my humps ~ black eyed peas

shyaks. pasukan nanaman. owell. the sooner i get it all over with, the better. hope everything turns out allright.

had my final hurrah last saturday... road trip! super fun :)

pero may final hurrah part 2 kanina... fun din hehe. it's always great to be with the people you love. i feel so blessed, even if i was a bit nauseous in the car while going home. had to shut up and sleep hehe. sorry bout that!

"ratonsito" said something like: when the time comes that it's right for you to just let it go, you would know it with a certain level of clarity in your mind. and it would be through a state of catatonia, i suppose? since it seems like you would hardly feel the token anger, hurt, pain, or regret. sad to say, but i'm getting there. i think it would be better for me to just say goodbye, than stick around for things (of which i was (we were) once so certain of) that may have changed already over the course of time. change really is the only constant thing in this world. i don't even feel depressed or what-not, it just dawned on me as something that's part of the natural course of things. kinda hazy right now, clear it up next time :) for now, just chalk it up to the old board of experience, i guess.

got home, and no one's here. what was here was hot pot of steaming sinigang... yum! ayos hehe :) lifted my spirits and helped me lose the nausea! hehe astig.

school again. school again. school again. oh the years.

ginaganahan

ginaganahan

on loop: sitting, waiting, wishing ~ jack johnson

new layout... kaya slightly masipag to blog :) do check out the streaming video! masaya 'yun hehe. just needs a bit of patience (and a somewhat decent net connection).

i couldn't sleep at all last night, despite tiring myself out the entire day. and what's not so great about being up when everyone else is asleep is that you tend to think of a lot of things... about life, love, hate, joy, pain, successes and failures and all that mooshy stuff reserved especially for moments when you're alone with yourself (redundant?). i think it's the silence that sortof serves as a catalyst for these musings. and even if you try to NOT think of it, just the fact that you're trying means you already are.

tendency is, you sometimes get too wrapped up in your thoughts and end up getting depressed. or in some instances, you emerge with a renewed sense of vigor up for another round, suffused with some new resolve you supposedly concocted during those moments of "clarity" you had while waltzing with your thoughts. but when day comes and the harsh realities of daily monotony come streaking through, your firm resolve is somehow nowhere to be found... up until the next muni-muni session you've got lined for yourself, and the cycle begins again.

i guess this is what they mean when they say you're stuck in a rut. it's like you can't see yourself being something else or doing different things, even if you try your darndest to. it's because it has simply become who you are. bordering on a bit of philosophy, you have become you. you're living up to the standards and expectations you have subconsciously set for yourself and though you may want to break free from that mold, there is just no escaping one's own self or pagkatao. i remeber a term back in ateneo philo: self-actualization. the idea's so abstract yet so singular that it is clear at precisely the same time that it is hazy. it is your being or pagiging. being not as a noun, but as a verb. a coming into terms with your self.

and when people change, we feel that they are becoming different from who they are. but in actuality, they are simply deviating from that version of that person that we have come to know and associate with that self. their change is not becuase they are veering away from who they truly are, but simply a part or phase of the continous process of eveolving into one's true state of being.

HRRRMM. weyt a menet. i actually don't know why they heck i'm talking philosophy. i probably lack sleep or i think it's my mind's own way of answering some questions that's been hounding me as to why people change out of the blue, and when i look back to try to see when it started to happen, i discover the imperceptible changes down the road that i never gave too much heed about or didn't really particularly care for. when all rolled together, it turns into one big mess that just can't be undone anymore.

so there. random ramblings. 'sensya na. i should go back to sleep. and to quote what my friend "ratonsito" said: "don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God." and oh yeah, since puro tanong na rin naman nasa isip ko, may isa pa: alam niyo yung mga music videos na parang pa-rewind yung scenes, pero tama naman ang pagkakanta nung song and hindi naman baliktad... pano ginagawa yun? hehe. i've always wondered.

woohoo!

WOOHOO!

on loop: push the button ~ sugababes (lss)

i finally got to change my layout. it was hard! and took a lot of time... and patience :) but at least i was able to work it out in just a few hours (yes yes... mabagal na yun but i'm an html-dunce >:p). though this wasn't the original layout i wanted to use (the first one that got botched was actually SO MUCH better. owell.) i'm just satisfied and fulfilled. needed to divert my attention 'coz i didn't go out in case i'd get sick again since i just got better today. haha this is the height of dork-dom... at home on a friday night, doing html! hahaha owell so what? i dun kerr. and by the way, i got a tagboard (from cbox.com! thanks ;p) 'coz i lost the comments page hehe. hopefully i'll be able to get it back. for the meantime, max characters on the tagboard is 200 and you're free to tag numerous times. speaking of numerous times, SOMEONE helped me test out the tagboard while i was making it and this SOMEONE happened to post some kindofa funky messages... so there. hahaha very funny ones, but please don't think i'm talking to myself (in multiple personalities at that!) just because they all sound like inside jokes (that's 'coz they are hehe ;p).

on a side note, i need to get out of here. tomorrow, i swear i will have my one last hurrah before school starts :) i'm excited!

arrgh

on loop: good old-fashioned lover boy ~ jason mraz

frickin' crap. i've been sick since tuesday (and stuck at home) and i don't think i'll be able to go out tonight since i'm feeling really bleurgh, so to make up for that i decided to finally change my blog layout. for those of you who has ever tried nitpicking your layout manually, you'd know the patience needed to do so. and so i go, thinking it can't be THAT hard since i've somehow done it before... for more than two hours, i furrowed my brows and acquired a brand-new migraine tweaking ends here and there. i saved it and previewed it... i liked it! it was really cool and nice and all, but i just needed to fix something since something was wrong with the style sheet itself. but just as i was editing the template, i got disconnected! shet. everything got erased... 'coz dumb 'ol me didn't save it (doh. 'coz i was editing it!). ayun. just got sorta frustrated, and now i'm too pissed to work again. rarr.

school's back on tuesday and... ayoko pa!!! (isn't that always the case?) i've got heavy subjects this term and i know i'm going to have to give up a lot of things just to keep my grades straight. no more going out except for saturdays (but bmr is every friday!!!), correct sleeping hours (i'm aiming to be asleep by 12 so i could have at least 5 hours of decent sleep... something i haven't had during school), and please for the love of everything good and beautiful, i gotta quit cramming! hahaha goodluck na lang sa'kin :P anyway, bmr's on tonight and i'm hoping i could go but then again... yun nga, i'm sick. so let's see *crosses fingers* as for the template, i'm so bored with this dull green one! i just might try to have one more go at it ;p

5 lessons to make us think about the way we treat people

on loop: red red wine ~ ub40

First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 pm, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled '60s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached… It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away… Godbless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole."

Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for th eperson who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

***

got this e-mail from one of my yahoogroups. hrmmm... does makes sense Ü

joke time (warning: korny!)

on loop: guajira ~ yerba buena (from the dirty dancing ost, one of my very favorite movies... la lang Ü just sharing)

JOKE 1
anak: itay, bibili ako ng band peper...
itay: anak, 'wag kang bobo ha? hindi "band peper" ang tawag dun!
anak: ano po ba?!
itay: KOKONGBAN...

***

JOKE 2
kalaliman na ng gabi at naglalakad si mark sa may balete drive. madilim at wala nang taong nakikita sa kalsadang iyon. kinabahan si mark at nagmamadaling naglalakad nang may marinig siya...

"mark! mark!"

lumingon sa mark pero wala naman siyang nakitang tao sa likod niya. kinilabutan siya at lalo pang nagmadali nang makaalis na sa nakakatakot na kalye pero... may narinig siya ulit, mas malakas pa ngayon...

"mark... mark! MARK!"

tumigil si mark sa paglalakad at talagang lumingon mula kaliwa hanggang kanan, mula harap patungong likuran... pero wala talagang tao. kinabahan na si mark, lubos ang pagtataka kung sino nga ba ang nagtatawag sa pangalan niya. hindi lingid sa kaalaman niya ang mga kwento tungkol sa balete drive. sinimulan na muli niya ang paglakad nang may napansin siyang itim na asong nakatitig sa kaniya, na para bang may iniisip tungkol sa kaniya. na-praning pa siya lalo at kumaripas na ng takbo pero natisod siya sa isang nakapaskil na karatula sa tabi ng kalsada...

"BEWARE: Ngo-ngong Aso" (sana na-gets niyo hehe)

***

ang kokorni. naiinis tuloy ako hahaha pero super bumenta sakin yang mga yan when i first heard them. dami pa sana ako pero mabubuko na yung kakornihan ko masyado.

on a side note, brownman revival appeared in bubble gang kanina (it just finished actually) as part of the show's 10th anniversary presentation. mah gali gash. deeeenoowww...

long week set aside for the holidays, though medyo hindi festive kasi all soul's day nga naman hehe. but still... it'll be a great opportunity for me to get back to my books (and save up some money as well i guess) and just unwind and stock up on sleep before school starts again :)

october-fest

on loop: steady lang ~ brownman revival

it's been a long and eventful week. haven't really had the time to go online and blog kahit na i really wanted to hehe. so, speed-blogging nanaman...

10.20, thursday - went to 70's bistro. first time to watch BMR live. SUPER FUN! was an experience (we ran out of money pa hehehehe, had to drive home drunk to get some ;p)

10.21, friday - xaymaca, BMR again. fully supported ng aking mga kaibigan ang kalokohan ko hehe. super memorable day :) why? click HERE to find out. i look slightly wasted in there, kasi naman the place was packed like you wouldn't believe. hot box, and istragel talaga to get from one point to another but 'twas well worth it ;p ispeysyal thanks to lisa (who's in bangkok right now! lucky lucky) for being being my backbone hehe. also, this night was the first time i actually ran up to some random stranger in a cab (i had reason to though ;p 'twas to retrieve something valuable). didn't mean to cause a slight traffic jam har har.

10.22, saturday - accompanied bea to 70's bistro again because her brother's band (razorback), before he left for the states, was playing and he had asked her to relay some things to them and get some pics as well. bea's cousin and his friends were there as well. really cool and down-to-earth bunch :) had a great time there as well.

sunday (was in eastwood with pam and bea) and monday (watched 40-year old virgin in gateway) went by in a blur. so did the past few days, but more importantly...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAM!!!

the 26th was her special day and we're glad you had fun ;) that was a fun night, we were able to be in about 6 different places hehehe. may you have a great year ahead of you, and an even better life ;p congrats and thanks for being a great friend. i know what you wished foorrrr...... hehehe jk. wishing you the best!

slept over at bea's the night of pam's birthday, and watched a lot of cool dvds the next day. we ate a lot hehe and relished the day (the weather was really nice, sarap matulog ;p). watch in good company and the truth about love. they're really nice.

also had registration for school last tuesday. i have a really cool sched! and cool subjects as well... though half of them are major subjects *pressurrrre* pero kaya 'yan! school starts on the 8th, and sana maka-huling hirit pa ulit kami sa puerto from the 2nd to the 4th ;) hopefully. anyway, ang saya pala magkaroon ng digicam, you get to take snaps of everything and have it up in your pc the minute you get home. we have a lot of pics (really nice ones of the beach, of the band, and of us syempre hehe) lately, let me know na lang if you wanna see or anything. kinda takes forever to upload them in here ;p

<3 <3 <3 !!!

on loop: dahan-dahan ~ brownman revival

* Sigh... *

***

saya-saya ng araw ko kahapon. a lot of great things happened... as in, miracles talaga! hehe.

one of them is the fact that when i went to school for my grades, i had this really sinking feeling na bumagsak ako dun sa isa kong subject. as in the night before, super dasal ako. i even asked pam and lisa to please please pray for me, malapit kay Lord yung dalawang yun eh hehe. basta, to make a long story short, i passed that class! nothing short of a miracle really... 'coz others who were definitely better off than me in that class failed! super mind-boggler. anyway, thank you Lord :) you know how much i needed that.

also, i made it into the Dean's List. yes!!! hehe :) my cqpa is 3.85 so i'm also eligible for a scholarship grant. yay! once again, thank you Lord.

also went out with a friend last night and had a lot of fun. had good drinks and good food plus good company. saya hehe, kahit umulan and late nako nakauwi :) thanks din (especially for listening to me about you-know-who ahehehe).

and lastly (save the best for last hehe), i have officially turned into a groupie. hahahaha. ewan. last time i was like this was back in 7th grade. anyway, brownman revival was in the rx 93.1 concert series yesterday 6pm and ang galing galing ni dino, este i mean, nila!!! haha *lunacy in the making* shyaks. hard to explain without coming off as some half-brained ditz... tsk, pero basta. it's the VOICE talaga eh (seryoso!) that got me. doesn't help pa that he doesn't look bad and smart pa (weakness ko pa naman yung mga good with words hehehehe). anyway, their new video ("lintik") will be debuting on myx tomorrow, october 19 hehehe. plus, trivia: their "maling akala" video was directed by actor ian veneracion. mga ngerks info, pero wala lang just thought i'd share hehe.

actually, i never really appreciated pinoy reggae that much (like mga urban dub, hemp republic, tropical depression, etc.) though i like reggae in general, but well change of plans i guess hehe. a "silly schoolgirl crush" as someone named what i have, pero (eto na malupet hehe) i feel na there's this affinity (what this means exactly i will never be able to articulate into words) going on talaga eh. hahahaha. grabe giddy/crazy. i doubt if this is even healthy. anyway, akin na lang yun. basta i'm happy (though i feel i'm gonna look back to this day and to this post and think 'what the heck was i thinking?!' baliw haha.) but i'm really thankful for these simple pleasures that give good, clean fun :) tsk... alis na nga ako, before i make a complete fool of myself (as if i haven't ahehehe).

random musings

on loop: 'di mo lang alam ~ brownman revival

eto sobrang ewan, pero i have a nyu kras. yung vocalist ng brownman revival (i dunno what his name is yet). hahaha yuck parang tanga. anyway, try niyo to listen to their songs... whatta voice. na-goose bumps nga ako eh hahaha. he's cute and all pero wala yun, listen to the voice galing talaga. i dunno what's wrong with me, it's probably just the hormones or something hehe. anyway, out of fancy, i downloaded nearly all of their songs. they're good (no bias ;p). ahahay...

***

so much for that. anyway, speaking of downloading, i screwed up my bearshare and now i've been using limewire. i like it! though it's taking a longer time to load and stuff, i find it to be better :) yay. i've also been overdosing on ebooks... sarap magbasa ng FREE books hehe. i know it's like piracy but hey, when you don't have the money... why not? that's all i'm saying, but if you do (or if i did) go ahead and get the real thing from the bookstore. it helps keep these writers writing :) i've downloaded some books i've always wanted to read but never had the money to actually buy like: the little prince, the giving tree, sophie's world, and the 5 people you meet in heaven, among others. it's like a party for the bookworm in me hehe. any suggestions?

***

i feel guilty for not sacrificing sleep to go with sunshine later. i know i promised i would, but there's been a slight change in schedule and i highly doubt if i'd be able to attend to everything i have to do tomorrow if i had to get up by 7am to go with her :( sorry shine, i feel really bad tuloy :( it's just that i have this thing in the afternoon that's gonna take till night, with barely enough time for me to freshen up and meet you guys. plus i anticipated that i wouldn't be able to sleep early now since i drank red bull barako (was bored and hungry kasi kanina hehe) so i didn't wanna force it. sorry again and i'm sure you and bea would have fun, goodluck!

***

trip details: just the basics (for now), the weather was great! warm and breezy plus the water was beautiful. there weren't too many people and room rates (even the food, drinks, "stuff", etc) were really low since it wasn't peak season yet. we got to white beach (puerto galera) at around 10am monday and we took the muelle port (from the pier itself where the bigger boats were, since the waves were kinda rough 'coz there was supposedly a storm approaching) ferry at around 1pm wednesday. we hit manila around 5pm i think since the traffic a bit tight 'coz of the rain plus we stopped over a couple of times to but some pasalubong and to eat batangas bulalo :) i kinda skimmed through the happenings... a bit lazy to enumerate hehe. will do soon :) it'll be better with pictures!