nature has this really funky way of evening things out, doesn't it? like, you can't have too much good things happen to you so the good 'ol guys in charge of this balance throws in a dash or two of bad luck or what-not just for good measure... and vice versa.
last thursday, i found out that i failed my accounting subject. i was around seven grade points away from the passing score. it was so unbelievably depressing that i ended up staring off into space for the whole night contemplating about my life... and life itself in general. now what's so deathly about flunking an impossible subject, you ask? none actually... since it's pretty much normal news to flunk a subject that was meant to be flunked anyway (just kidding). anyway, this was to be my second time to take this subject already ('coz, guess what? that's right, i flunked it the first time i took it), so it was essential that i pass it if i wanted to keep my course, which i so badly wanted to. what was worse was the fact that i've failed a number of subjects from past semesters (math ones, what else?) which means i'm in serious trouble of getting kicked out. i could go look the other way about the matter and say that it's all right to fluvk a few subjects and end up getting kicked out... it's a hard university anyway and there are others where you'd get in to after. believe me, i tried to make this mentality work... and only ended up having a panic attack slash nervous breakdown. i love my school. 'nuff said. i don't want to leave. at that moment, i understood completely what probably was the state of mind of the son of one of our affluent and infamous female senators. her son took his life after failing a subject in ateneo law school. melodramatic i know, but for a moment, i wasn't far from following in his footsteps then i guess the smarter part of me decided to slap me to get me to get up and go and stop thinking 'bout silly stupid-ass stuff.
so anyway, the next day i immediately went to school with the resolve to appeal for permission to take the removal exams ('coz i was only two grade points away from the removal exam qualification). when i got to the management department, i was ready to launch into a sob story so as to illicit a few merciful nods from the powers-that-be. what greeted me shocked the daylights outta me. i was already part of the list who were to take the exam! God has granted me another chance. it's so simple right now as i type it down but the cesspool of emotions gurgling all over me at that time were so intense that i ended up running out into corridors smiling while crying (psycho, i know). the removal exam was to be the next day after i found out... not much time to study 12 accounting chapters, but i was determined and invigorated. i spent the entire night and day before the test isolating myself in a dingy, sparsely furnished room in my dad's office studying (something i have ever done before). and when the time came for me to take THE TEST, i felt ready yet apprehensive. to cut it short, i feel good and happy about the exam... hope i passed :)
that, among other positive things have been happening to me for the past few days. but as i said, nature decided to rear it's head into my business and decided that i've had enough of the miracle happy pill and had me take some of the bitter stuff. first, i lost my puppy. one i love so dearly and am only learning to appreciate and creat a bond with. found out only a few hours back... how sad. another thing is the realization that i am never really sure if i won't get kicked out (i failed a ton of subjects back then)... i know it's really all my fault and i have no intention of pinning the blame on anyone, but the fact that i have come to terms with the my-fault thingy is quite a pulldown. that and a number of other things have sprung up these last few days and are bugging me intensely. i'm just praying for the strenght to get over this. it may seem so trivial as compared to what others might be going through but the thing here is that i don't do comparison of problems. i think it's dumb and pointless. it wouldn't be a problem if it were inconsequential and meaningless... also, it wouldn't be a problem if it didn't have a solution. that keeps me going.
i also have a feeling that i won't be able to go to any beach for the entire summer. sob. i've been dying for a break! i hope my feeling's wrong. it's too soon to assume, i guess. sigh. life.
Monday, March 29, 2004
Sunday, March 28, 2004
honk
i'm over here at andrea's house right now. what was meant to be a day of watching movies and hanging out turned to be a night for a sleepover... eheh. my cellphone line got cut since i failed to pay for ny five grand bill on time. oh well. tough... so i can't contact my dad and ask him to pick me up so here i am... spending the night over :)
anyway, i have FINALLY seen the Passion of Christ, albeit through a pirated VCD copy. this film has been warped in hype ever since any word of it came out... snippets of the supposed morbidity, gore and life-altering effects of the movie did not fail to reach my expectant ears and so i have eagerly anticipated the moment when i would finally be able to see the film for myself since people say there has been nothing like it before and that the mere experience of being able to see it for oneself is in itself an experience (huh? darn... i'm rambling). so anyway, the film. mel gibson's directorial debut was superb. my goodness, the film elicited such a profound effect on me, so much so that i could not discern whjat it is i wanted to do more, cry, shout expletives at those ignoramic pharisees or simply re-evaluate my christological perspectives.
in the end, i ended up doing all of it. words fail to explain just how magnificent the film is. hard hitting would be an apt adjective for it. i'm sure anyone who'd go and see it would definitely find something in it that would trigger some soprt of fancy within him. it's coming out in manila on march 31 if i'm not mistaken, and i'm sure everyone's gonna go rush to the nearest cinemas to see for themselves what all the hype is about. it most certainly is worth every centavo one might shell out for the movie. see it.
anyway, i'm just checking in since i haven't blogged for a while and actually, this is the first time i have ever blogged from a friend's house. peculiar. anyway, i had my last final exam today! woohoo i'm free! for two weeks anyway... by april 14, i'm back to the wonderful world of school... summer school, that is. my course requires that i take them. so anyway, you guys enjoy your well-deserved breaks... relish them enough for the both of us ;p happy summer!
anyway, i have FINALLY seen the Passion of Christ, albeit through a pirated VCD copy. this film has been warped in hype ever since any word of it came out... snippets of the supposed morbidity, gore and life-altering effects of the movie did not fail to reach my expectant ears and so i have eagerly anticipated the moment when i would finally be able to see the film for myself since people say there has been nothing like it before and that the mere experience of being able to see it for oneself is in itself an experience (huh? darn... i'm rambling). so anyway, the film. mel gibson's directorial debut was superb. my goodness, the film elicited such a profound effect on me, so much so that i could not discern whjat it is i wanted to do more, cry, shout expletives at those ignoramic pharisees or simply re-evaluate my christological perspectives.
in the end, i ended up doing all of it. words fail to explain just how magnificent the film is. hard hitting would be an apt adjective for it. i'm sure anyone who'd go and see it would definitely find something in it that would trigger some soprt of fancy within him. it's coming out in manila on march 31 if i'm not mistaken, and i'm sure everyone's gonna go rush to the nearest cinemas to see for themselves what all the hype is about. it most certainly is worth every centavo one might shell out for the movie. see it.
anyway, i'm just checking in since i haven't blogged for a while and actually, this is the first time i have ever blogged from a friend's house. peculiar. anyway, i had my last final exam today! woohoo i'm free! for two weeks anyway... by april 14, i'm back to the wonderful world of school... summer school, that is. my course requires that i take them. so anyway, you guys enjoy your well-deserved breaks... relish them enough for the both of us ;p happy summer!
Sunday, March 21, 2004
compensation
hearing: Take Me In Your Arms ~ Texas
i've been spending less and less time away from bloggin that i feel like school is all i ever do. all work and play makes hyannah... the cutie she actually is. of course, that's ajoke. anyway, thought i'd fill this space with something other than whinings about school and depressing stuff like that so i've decided to share some of the more interesting things i've been up to lately.
lately, i've rediscovered my love for movies. i've bought copies of some films i've seen and very much loved. despite the hefty price, i've been more than willing to obtain for myself a copy of these films to be made available whenever i'd wish to watch it. some of the titles i got are: Serendipity, The Firm, Moulin Rouge, Little Nicky, Liar Liar, The Juror, Disturbing Behavior, and Ever After. i've made it a point to see a film at least twice a week, and as of the moment i have just finished seeing Ever After. Beautiful! loved it :) i am such a sucker for sappy romantic films... and cinderella plotlines hehe.
an unexpected treat lately was when i got to spend time last friday night with my highschool friends over at the mall. it's been some time since we last got together and it was really fun to hang out again. there was also a sale going on and the prices were just so low! hehe... shopper's paradise (or at least for those who's got the cash ;p). last night, i finally got to watch 50 First Dates (Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore who incidentally was also in Ever After hehe). it's the cutest movie ever!!! hehe. it's very refreshing and original... quite funny and very sweet as well. you can't go wrong with this film so go try and catch it before it exits the theaters :)
i'm now anticipating the release of "The Passion of Christ", Mel Gibson's directorial debut and highly controversial film. i have to see it. aside from renewing my love for movies, i am also restoring my first ever love for reading. i'm currently into John Grisham novels (me being a wannabe lawyer and all :p lol), very lurid and brilliant i must say :) must-reads. anyhow, i think my attemp to try to convince anyone that i've been leading a fun-filled and exciting life seems to have failed miserably so i should leave now ;p hehe.
i'll leave you with the lyrics to the song Aam Sandler (and actually written and arranged by him) sang to drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates. i'm sure anyone who's seen the movie will want to hear about this one ;p enjoy and i hope you all have a great summer ahead of you :)
Forgetful Lucy
La-woo-kee-low is the place
Where I first saw your face
We liked each other right away
But you didn’t remember me the very next day
Forgetful Lucy
Has got a nice caboose-ie
I used to trick you into pulling your car over so we could chat
But my favorite time was when you beat the shit out of Ula with a bat
Than we drove up to see Dr. Keets
And find out why Doug always has to change his sheets
Forgetful Lucy
Cracked her head like Gary Busey
But I still love her so
And I’ll never let her go
Even if while I’m singing this song
She’s wishing I had Jocko The Walrus’ shlong
Forgetful Lucy
Her lips are so damn juicy
How about another first kiss?
*sigh*
(i'll post some inetersting film stills next time. busy as a bee... gotta buzz ;p)
i've been spending less and less time away from bloggin that i feel like school is all i ever do. all work and play makes hyannah... the cutie she actually is. of course, that's ajoke. anyway, thought i'd fill this space with something other than whinings about school and depressing stuff like that so i've decided to share some of the more interesting things i've been up to lately.
lately, i've rediscovered my love for movies. i've bought copies of some films i've seen and very much loved. despite the hefty price, i've been more than willing to obtain for myself a copy of these films to be made available whenever i'd wish to watch it. some of the titles i got are: Serendipity, The Firm, Moulin Rouge, Little Nicky, Liar Liar, The Juror, Disturbing Behavior, and Ever After. i've made it a point to see a film at least twice a week, and as of the moment i have just finished seeing Ever After. Beautiful! loved it :) i am such a sucker for sappy romantic films... and cinderella plotlines hehe.
an unexpected treat lately was when i got to spend time last friday night with my highschool friends over at the mall. it's been some time since we last got together and it was really fun to hang out again. there was also a sale going on and the prices were just so low! hehe... shopper's paradise (or at least for those who's got the cash ;p). last night, i finally got to watch 50 First Dates (Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore who incidentally was also in Ever After hehe). it's the cutest movie ever!!! hehe. it's very refreshing and original... quite funny and very sweet as well. you can't go wrong with this film so go try and catch it before it exits the theaters :)
i'm now anticipating the release of "The Passion of Christ", Mel Gibson's directorial debut and highly controversial film. i have to see it. aside from renewing my love for movies, i am also restoring my first ever love for reading. i'm currently into John Grisham novels (me being a wannabe lawyer and all :p lol), very lurid and brilliant i must say :) must-reads. anyhow, i think my attemp to try to convince anyone that i've been leading a fun-filled and exciting life seems to have failed miserably so i should leave now ;p hehe.
i'll leave you with the lyrics to the song Aam Sandler (and actually written and arranged by him) sang to drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates. i'm sure anyone who's seen the movie will want to hear about this one ;p enjoy and i hope you all have a great summer ahead of you :)
Forgetful Lucy
La-woo-kee-low is the place
Where I first saw your face
We liked each other right away
But you didn’t remember me the very next day
Forgetful Lucy
Has got a nice caboose-ie
I used to trick you into pulling your car over so we could chat
But my favorite time was when you beat the shit out of Ula with a bat
Than we drove up to see Dr. Keets
And find out why Doug always has to change his sheets
Forgetful Lucy
Cracked her head like Gary Busey
But I still love her so
And I’ll never let her go
Even if while I’m singing this song
She’s wishing I had Jocko The Walrus’ shlong
Forgetful Lucy
Her lips are so damn juicy
How about another first kiss?
*sigh*
(i'll post some inetersting film stills next time. busy as a bee... gotta buzz ;p)
Friday, March 19, 2004
sad news
first of all, i would like to express my deepest condolences for everyone who knew Kyle Andrew Castillo who passed away recently due to colon cancer. let us offer a prayer for the eternal repose of his soul. rest in peace, kyle :s
****
even if i wanted it to be otherwise, i had to end up starting my "return of the comeback" post on a very somber note. i recently found out that a quasi-childhood friend-slash-classmateforthelongesttime kyle castillo passed away to be with our Lord. it came as a complete shock. i was never particularly close to him, but he was always there in the same way i always was. co-existence, one might say. it is so hard to imagine someone who's always existed as one to always be there to be gone. he was always full of life, i even thought of him as mysterious and enigmatic for a while... actually, for the whole while that i was in school with him. always thought that he'd turn out allright even after he left for CSA, then later on for the states. it's safe to say he is well loved and will be sorely missed. i sincerely hope he's doing great where he is now...
****
school's gobbling me up... which is so sad since i might be kicked out in a matter of days, i guess i'm somewhat halfway there already, i'm just waiting for the formal indictment. but then again, i am hoping that i could stay. it may not show in my academic performance but i really love my school... and i honestly don't see myself anywhere else. it would really break my heart to have to leave. darn... regret really does always come in the end, doesn't it?
anyway, i haven't updated for so long since i've hardly had time to even sleep-eat-drink... you know, normal activities of the living. i am so dead. i did try to post a few days back but just when i was ready to hit the Publish button in order to share with the world my incredibly witty and humorous entry, my pc hanged. must've been an omen. the world wasn't ready for such intellect yet. just kidding. anyway, felt too rotten and pissed to write another one after that so... here i am now, making this other post.
before i go, i would just like to extend my thanks to everyone who peridically drops by here and leaves little tags. i do see them and it's very much appreciated :) thanks. hope to return the favor sometime real soon (finals are coming up *rarr*). hope everyone keeps safe and good.
****
even if i wanted it to be otherwise, i had to end up starting my "return of the comeback" post on a very somber note. i recently found out that a quasi-childhood friend-slash-classmateforthelongesttime kyle castillo passed away to be with our Lord. it came as a complete shock. i was never particularly close to him, but he was always there in the same way i always was. co-existence, one might say. it is so hard to imagine someone who's always existed as one to always be there to be gone. he was always full of life, i even thought of him as mysterious and enigmatic for a while... actually, for the whole while that i was in school with him. always thought that he'd turn out allright even after he left for CSA, then later on for the states. it's safe to say he is well loved and will be sorely missed. i sincerely hope he's doing great where he is now...
****
school's gobbling me up... which is so sad since i might be kicked out in a matter of days, i guess i'm somewhat halfway there already, i'm just waiting for the formal indictment. but then again, i am hoping that i could stay. it may not show in my academic performance but i really love my school... and i honestly don't see myself anywhere else. it would really break my heart to have to leave. darn... regret really does always come in the end, doesn't it?
anyway, i haven't updated for so long since i've hardly had time to even sleep-eat-drink... you know, normal activities of the living. i am so dead. i did try to post a few days back but just when i was ready to hit the Publish button in order to share with the world my incredibly witty and humorous entry, my pc hanged. must've been an omen. the world wasn't ready for such intellect yet. just kidding. anyway, felt too rotten and pissed to write another one after that so... here i am now, making this other post.
before i go, i would just like to extend my thanks to everyone who peridically drops by here and leaves little tags. i do see them and it's very much appreciated :) thanks. hope to return the favor sometime real soon (finals are coming up *rarr*). hope everyone keeps safe and good.