bad trip

bad trip

on loop: my thoughts

fart. i had the suckiest night... i just got home and everything, and i mean everything, just went wrong today. as in big time wrong. it's the kind of night that'll haunt you till you get old and die or something like that. i won't elaborate anymore on the details since some other people are involved with the events but one of the things that really sucked about this night was that during our company christmas party in rockwell, everything was just baaaddd shit. the day started out allright, things were cool and cozy but as the night wore on, everything just flopped. big time belly flop. anyway, during the party, they were calling out ticket stubs to receive prizes like appliances, laptops, entertainment systems and the like. they were gonna give out dvd players and when i heard about that, i really wanted to be the one to get it... i had this feeling that there was a chance i could be picked. but i shrugged it off.

my colleagues wanted to leave already after a bit coz we were supposed to go to pier one in ortigas to drink and stuff, but then something happened between me and this other person so nawalan ako ng gana and just wanted to stay with this friend from the company who was also from ateneo but things got ugly blah blah blah so to avoid any more issues, i just went with them. around half an hour after we left, that friend called me and said my name was called! i was supposed to get a N6600!!!!! punyeta to the nth power talaga. that is just like adding salt to the wound. its insult to the injury. panget na nga ng araw, ganon pa. i really really really really freaking wanted a new phone, that model as a matter of fact. and now that i was gonna get it for FREE, it slips. punyemas. sobrang nabad trip ako, ang tindi. i was snapping at everyone. sobrang nanghihinayang lang ako... and i really hate the feeling. regret and loss is something i totally suck in dealing with. i can deal with anger, depression, sadness, happiness, name it, all except those two. coz there really is nothing you can do about it.

potek talaga. i practically just threw 20 grand away. damnnnnn. tagos sa buto yung pagsisisi ko. im not being materialistic here... its just that the situations and events that culminated to that one was really pushing me over the edge already and actually, were the reasons why i missed the phone. tapos may mokong na hirit pa ng hirit buong gabi sakin, sarap na upakan. i really hate getting into fights, especially if it's for no reason and if wala talaga sa lugar yung tao sabay namamaliktad pa. leche.i felt so bad, i ended up drinking 3 shots of cuervo and beer. had to take my mind off the things but just being with those people was not helping.

buti na lang, i met up with bea, pam and tony. they made me feel so much better. thanks so much guys for putting up with me even if i was so bitchy and i made you wait pa. lifesavers. i still feel rotten and i hope this fades away fast coz it's really putting me in a sour mood, i just hope i'd be able to find a way to just forget things and act like this stupid night never happened. i've never hated a night as much as i do this one. everything was just plain downright wrong. i'm really sorry if this is such a negative post, i just had to let it out coz i'm really pissed. i wish i just stayed home like i wanted to, and slept or something. much safer. i'm not saying i hate the people i'm working with na now, all i'm saying is that what happened made me lose amour for my job and for my colleagues, especially one of my closer friends there. idiot. i could keep ranting here but in the end, i'm the one who's the dunce in this whole picture. i hate being the imbecile... it sucks big time.