beautiful day
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i made the RIGHT decision. teleperformance is great. they treat their people with professional courtesy and sonsideration. the office is great and i'm with a winner. winners beget more winners. and the people are incredible. feels good to have made the right decision. my first paycheck comes out on friday... it covers today's and tomorrow's training. that'll be around P2,200, they said. not baaaad. but it'll be going to certain debts i have to pay up but that's allright. i'll work real hard to earn those air points and incentives harharhar, and before i know it, i'd REALLY be earning. *laughs greedily in anticipation*
our trainer is lane winward, an american writer of marketing, management, success and self-help books who's very good in his field. high-caliber... i almost feel ashamed to even be in the same room with him. 4am to 1pm felt like an hour because of the fun we were having... it's hard but it's good kind of hard. challenging. we have 20 minute breaks every 2 hours and our lunch break is at 730am, for an hour. the people were great and are so much easier to get along with than those from e-pac... i mean, they were fabulous, really but i now see that these TP people are also great, way beyond my expectations. one of the spiels in e-pac says that "we are always satisfied with what we have until we find something better, right?"... it's so true. i was happy with e-pac, thinking that was the best i could go. i was wrong because i am right. harhar labo noh? basta. yun na yun.
and by the way, my crush already met my dad. he rode in the car with me and my dad because he needed a ride to the camp crame mrt station. they got along so well. *evil grin* PWEDEEEHH! just kidding. it's been great. i am just so thankful right now (and a bit tired too, actually hehe). take care, everyone ;p
Monday, November 29, 2004
Saturday, November 27, 2004
WHATTA day!
WHATTA day!
on loop: sunshine ~ twista feat. anthony hamilton (kamikaze mix)
NOTE: this, by far, is the longest post i may have had been able to write EVER... (took me more than an hour to make) and it all happened in just ONE day. senseless ramblings actually hehe. just a little warning for you hehe ;p
yesterday was incredible. i was scheduled for a phone interview in teleperformance (4/F Octagon bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas) at 1:00 pm but in usual hyannah fashion, i was running late. i prayed to God and asked for a sign and wisdom in interpreting it 'coz it could be his way of telling me that i shouldn't bother with teleperformance anymore since e-pacific hired me already just the night before my supposed interview in TP. i asked God that if i get to TP and i miss my interview slot that would mean it's not for me to have. but when i got to TP (25 minutes late at that), the person scheduled for the 12:30nn slot hasn't even had her turn yet so i was actually way early. i met up with the girl i was with the first time i was there and we chatted away. in the call center industry, there is something that everyone needs to be great at. it's called rapport building... it's when you are able to connect with your client and build a somewhat bridge founded by strains of friendship and comraderie. it's what happens when people say 'we CLICK'. i met two other people whom i also totally CLICKED with. a guy (half-guy actually hehe) from UP Diliman and a basketball varsity player from UE (eto all-guy hahaha *sigh ;p* ewan).
anyway, after the phone interview with GMs from salt lake city, i was informed that i passed. i was immediately led out to take a typing test. passing rate was 35 words per minute and i also passed that (i got 42 wpm ahehe). and before i even knew what the heck was happening, i was up next for final interview already. during the final interview, i was asked to mock-sell several items. i was also asked to read out loud several paragraphs of nonsense (hehe). then i was asked several questions about myself... then my opinion on several political and economic issues. after which my (very cute haha) interviewer informed me that i was hired. farty fart fart. worst thing is that, i was to be placed in a new account for Dell computers (a high-end campaign) and was to start immediately on monday. it was all like, WHOA hold up, lemme catch up or something. what caught my attention was that the project was new and top leader positions were also up for grabs... like team leader, QM, floor manager, etc. if you excel during training, they could promote your position upfront. in fact, the position i applied for was a CCA (call center agent) but after my final interview they decided that i was qualified to be a TSR (technical sales representative) which is like a level 2 cca.. which means higher salary! hahaha.
the 3 people with whom i was hanging out with in the waiting room were also assigned to the same campaign that i was in and we were all so happy coz before we were informed that we made it, we were hoping that if ever we do get in, we'd be in the same project. and we are! around 5PM, we (paul, karl and me) left TP and decided to celebrate a bit in megamall and ended up eating in mexicali. you know how you get a feeling that you've known certain people for years already even if you've just met them? well, this is a perfect example of that situation. paul was actually from the ob montessori gh during gradescool before he transferred to pisay and he earned a double-major degree in upd after that. karl was part of the ue varsity basketball team in the uaap but was injured so he didn't get to play much but (i just have to say this), he's SO cute! nyahahaha grabe. and a nice mart guy at that (wala pa gf! joke ;p). we stayed in mexicali till around 7PM just chit-chatting and making plans for team-building gigs already and stuff. but deep inside me i was so sad since i still had e-pac to consider. i love TP but i also love e-pac, much more actually (at that time, i was thinking it was because i admire my trainer and my boss.. coz they're hella good in what they do). but the opportunity in TP is too great to pass up... darn. so anyway, karl took me home *sigh* and there was no awkward moments or stupid dead air moments. it was all cool. i had a great time and am actually looking forward to working with him (and paul and louise as well, of course hehe)... but epac is also there so i dunno yet.
i got home around 7:30 and freshened up for my day at e-pacific which would start at 9PM. when i got there everyone was tense since today was a make or break day for everyone (erm... except me coz i *think* i made it already). we had to make formal revalida calls... the pressure was on since we were informed that it was a make or break tryst. when it was my turn and i dialled the interlocal number of sir joey for my revalida, he picked it up and asked if i were hyannah (we were arranged alphabetically so he kinda knew already) and i said yeah. then he said, 'get the next one. i don't need to revalidate you... you've outdone yourself'. coming from the vp for sales, i was extremely flattered and proud to have received such a comment. normally the vp for sales don't remember trainee names but i was informed that i was already assigned under team joey (the vps team made up of agents who's been with the co. for more than 6 mos. already) and jaja (top seller 7 times in a row as a CCA and now team leader of team joey) would be my mentor. actually, gaining this sort of prestige, though only at this level, gained me alot of friends. but then again, also a lot of enemies.
people were talking behind my back saying things like 'bata lang yan eh bakit ba yan nandito? naglalaro lang yan eh. di naman nya kelangan ng pera... tumataas tuloy ang standards kaya nahihirapan tayo' and stuff. this really hurt me. when my friend told me this since one of the girls told her this, i was both mad and sad. but i decided to let it slip because in some ways i knew it was true but i also know that it wasn't my fault that they (those sour-grapers) sucked at their job. i wasn't doing anything special that wasn't in our scripts or training spiels. out of the 36 of us, only 14 passed. many left in tears and it was heart-breaking to see... many sacrifices and hard work has been poured into these past 5 days, more than any i've ever done fro anything as a matter of fact, and everyone had to give up certain things to make the cut and it hurts to be cut rather than make it. even the people who were talking behind my back (one of them made it as well, by the way) were pitiful as they cried and lamented. i had no idea this meant so much to them.
we got out from e-pac just before 1AM and we were supposed to go to baywalk. this is where most of the adventure comes in. only 12 wanted to go (2 of whom didn't make it but were part of the 'circle of life' as we call it hahaha). from julia vargas we walked to, brace yourselves... SHAW boulevard. in heels and business attire. daymn. we all rode in one long jeep till quiapo then we got off and alighted a vito cruz jeep that would take us to roxas boulevard. everyone was so kenkoy and ligh-hearted during the trip and it was so fun. we got off in malate and we walked around for a bit checking out the bars and stuff. then someone suggested that we play a game called 'cheapskate'(sarcasm abound) and try to have fun with spending less than a 100 each (not including cigarettes and beer hehe) and it's supposed to last us till morning since we wanted to view the sun rise in manila bay.
we ended up buying a whole roast chicken from andok's (for only 30 bucks each hehe) and plain rice from chowking, one for each of us. we then went to the ccp grounds, bought kwek-kwek and goto and taho (8 bucks kwek-kwek, 5 bucks taho and 10 bucks goto), rented two picnic blankets for 10 bucks each and found a great spot overlooking the bay full of lights. this was around 3AM already but we were still all hyper and wide awake hehe. CCAs na nga hehe. we ate with our hands (fun! hehe) and the food tasted great (mga gutom na kasi ;p). after eating, we all just sat back and relaxed, watching the bay and the stars. we talked about everything from politics, to religion, to history, even to the end of the world. i now believe that the end is near hahaha. but really, i do. the discussion fascinated me and we all learned so much from each other (everyone were wide readers pala), factual and personal information (everyone was so open and honest to one another). there were a lot of people of people in the area despite the ungodly hours. before we knew it, it was already 5:30AM and the sun was about to rise. we got up and transferred to another side of the bay for a better view. it was beautiful and magnificent and amazing and touching all at the same time. hahaha labo. i loved that night. its a special experience absolutely no money can buy... a one of a kind memory.
after the sun rose, we headed out to go home. this was around 6:30 already and we all rode a shuttle going to vito cruz/taft. from there, we parted ways already since we got on different jeeps headed to different places. i got on a jeep headed for cubao with three others (sime, joy and wendell). i had the greatest time ever. and for the first time, i felt like i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time out of sentiment for people i knew for roughly a week only. they are all very sweet and interesting and smart and personally, they opened my eyes to what the real world is all about. the things i've learned from them i would have had to experience for about 10 years. they were wise and clever and witty and... simply just great company. it was good, clean fun (cheap too ;p). they all treat me as the baby of the group (i admit i am the most jaded among everyone.. too sheltered) even if wendell is a year younger than i am. when i got home, i talked with my dad and asked for help since i do not know where i should go now. i want to work for both comapanies but of course, that's not possible. and i have to make a decision by sunday morning. sigh. i need my friends :( they're wise and great in maing sound desions. sadly, we're all busy with different things nowadays so i haven't had the chance to see them jusy yet. soon, hopefully.
on loop: sunshine ~ twista feat. anthony hamilton (kamikaze mix)
NOTE: this, by far, is the longest post i may have had been able to write EVER... (took me more than an hour to make) and it all happened in just ONE day. senseless ramblings actually hehe. just a little warning for you hehe ;p
yesterday was incredible. i was scheduled for a phone interview in teleperformance (4/F Octagon bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas) at 1:00 pm but in usual hyannah fashion, i was running late. i prayed to God and asked for a sign and wisdom in interpreting it 'coz it could be his way of telling me that i shouldn't bother with teleperformance anymore since e-pacific hired me already just the night before my supposed interview in TP. i asked God that if i get to TP and i miss my interview slot that would mean it's not for me to have. but when i got to TP (25 minutes late at that), the person scheduled for the 12:30nn slot hasn't even had her turn yet so i was actually way early. i met up with the girl i was with the first time i was there and we chatted away. in the call center industry, there is something that everyone needs to be great at. it's called rapport building... it's when you are able to connect with your client and build a somewhat bridge founded by strains of friendship and comraderie. it's what happens when people say 'we CLICK'. i met two other people whom i also totally CLICKED with. a guy (half-guy actually hehe) from UP Diliman and a basketball varsity player from UE (eto all-guy hahaha *sigh ;p* ewan).
anyway, after the phone interview with GMs from salt lake city, i was informed that i passed. i was immediately led out to take a typing test. passing rate was 35 words per minute and i also passed that (i got 42 wpm ahehe). and before i even knew what the heck was happening, i was up next for final interview already. during the final interview, i was asked to mock-sell several items. i was also asked to read out loud several paragraphs of nonsense (hehe). then i was asked several questions about myself... then my opinion on several political and economic issues. after which my (very cute haha) interviewer informed me that i was hired. farty fart fart. worst thing is that, i was to be placed in a new account for Dell computers (a high-end campaign) and was to start immediately on monday. it was all like, WHOA hold up, lemme catch up or something. what caught my attention was that the project was new and top leader positions were also up for grabs... like team leader, QM, floor manager, etc. if you excel during training, they could promote your position upfront. in fact, the position i applied for was a CCA (call center agent) but after my final interview they decided that i was qualified to be a TSR (technical sales representative) which is like a level 2 cca.. which means higher salary! hahaha.
the 3 people with whom i was hanging out with in the waiting room were also assigned to the same campaign that i was in and we were all so happy coz before we were informed that we made it, we were hoping that if ever we do get in, we'd be in the same project. and we are! around 5PM, we (paul, karl and me) left TP and decided to celebrate a bit in megamall and ended up eating in mexicali. you know how you get a feeling that you've known certain people for years already even if you've just met them? well, this is a perfect example of that situation. paul was actually from the ob montessori gh during gradescool before he transferred to pisay and he earned a double-major degree in upd after that. karl was part of the ue varsity basketball team in the uaap but was injured so he didn't get to play much but (i just have to say this), he's SO cute! nyahahaha grabe. and a nice mart guy at that (wala pa gf! joke ;p). we stayed in mexicali till around 7PM just chit-chatting and making plans for team-building gigs already and stuff. but deep inside me i was so sad since i still had e-pac to consider. i love TP but i also love e-pac, much more actually (at that time, i was thinking it was because i admire my trainer and my boss.. coz they're hella good in what they do). but the opportunity in TP is too great to pass up... darn. so anyway, karl took me home *sigh* and there was no awkward moments or stupid dead air moments. it was all cool. i had a great time and am actually looking forward to working with him (and paul and louise as well, of course hehe)... but epac is also there so i dunno yet.
i got home around 7:30 and freshened up for my day at e-pacific which would start at 9PM. when i got there everyone was tense since today was a make or break day for everyone (erm... except me coz i *think* i made it already). we had to make formal revalida calls... the pressure was on since we were informed that it was a make or break tryst. when it was my turn and i dialled the interlocal number of sir joey for my revalida, he picked it up and asked if i were hyannah (we were arranged alphabetically so he kinda knew already) and i said yeah. then he said, 'get the next one. i don't need to revalidate you... you've outdone yourself'. coming from the vp for sales, i was extremely flattered and proud to have received such a comment. normally the vp for sales don't remember trainee names but i was informed that i was already assigned under team joey (the vps team made up of agents who's been with the co. for more than 6 mos. already) and jaja (top seller 7 times in a row as a CCA and now team leader of team joey) would be my mentor. actually, gaining this sort of prestige, though only at this level, gained me alot of friends. but then again, also a lot of enemies.
people were talking behind my back saying things like 'bata lang yan eh bakit ba yan nandito? naglalaro lang yan eh. di naman nya kelangan ng pera... tumataas tuloy ang standards kaya nahihirapan tayo' and stuff. this really hurt me. when my friend told me this since one of the girls told her this, i was both mad and sad. but i decided to let it slip because in some ways i knew it was true but i also know that it wasn't my fault that they (those sour-grapers) sucked at their job. i wasn't doing anything special that wasn't in our scripts or training spiels. out of the 36 of us, only 14 passed. many left in tears and it was heart-breaking to see... many sacrifices and hard work has been poured into these past 5 days, more than any i've ever done fro anything as a matter of fact, and everyone had to give up certain things to make the cut and it hurts to be cut rather than make it. even the people who were talking behind my back (one of them made it as well, by the way) were pitiful as they cried and lamented. i had no idea this meant so much to them.
we got out from e-pac just before 1AM and we were supposed to go to baywalk. this is where most of the adventure comes in. only 12 wanted to go (2 of whom didn't make it but were part of the 'circle of life' as we call it hahaha). from julia vargas we walked to, brace yourselves... SHAW boulevard. in heels and business attire. daymn. we all rode in one long jeep till quiapo then we got off and alighted a vito cruz jeep that would take us to roxas boulevard. everyone was so kenkoy and ligh-hearted during the trip and it was so fun. we got off in malate and we walked around for a bit checking out the bars and stuff. then someone suggested that we play a game called 'cheapskate'(sarcasm abound) and try to have fun with spending less than a 100 each (not including cigarettes and beer hehe) and it's supposed to last us till morning since we wanted to view the sun rise in manila bay.
we ended up buying a whole roast chicken from andok's (for only 30 bucks each hehe) and plain rice from chowking, one for each of us. we then went to the ccp grounds, bought kwek-kwek and goto and taho (8 bucks kwek-kwek, 5 bucks taho and 10 bucks goto), rented two picnic blankets for 10 bucks each and found a great spot overlooking the bay full of lights. this was around 3AM already but we were still all hyper and wide awake hehe. CCAs na nga hehe. we ate with our hands (fun! hehe) and the food tasted great (mga gutom na kasi ;p). after eating, we all just sat back and relaxed, watching the bay and the stars. we talked about everything from politics, to religion, to history, even to the end of the world. i now believe that the end is near hahaha. but really, i do. the discussion fascinated me and we all learned so much from each other (everyone were wide readers pala), factual and personal information (everyone was so open and honest to one another). there were a lot of people of people in the area despite the ungodly hours. before we knew it, it was already 5:30AM and the sun was about to rise. we got up and transferred to another side of the bay for a better view. it was beautiful and magnificent and amazing and touching all at the same time. hahaha labo. i loved that night. its a special experience absolutely no money can buy... a one of a kind memory.
after the sun rose, we headed out to go home. this was around 6:30 already and we all rode a shuttle going to vito cruz/taft. from there, we parted ways already since we got on different jeeps headed to different places. i got on a jeep headed for cubao with three others (sime, joy and wendell). i had the greatest time ever. and for the first time, i felt like i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time out of sentiment for people i knew for roughly a week only. they are all very sweet and interesting and smart and personally, they opened my eyes to what the real world is all about. the things i've learned from them i would have had to experience for about 10 years. they were wise and clever and witty and... simply just great company. it was good, clean fun (cheap too ;p). they all treat me as the baby of the group (i admit i am the most jaded among everyone.. too sheltered) even if wendell is a year younger than i am. when i got home, i talked with my dad and asked for help since i do not know where i should go now. i want to work for both comapanies but of course, that's not possible. and i have to make a decision by sunday morning. sigh. i need my friends :( they're wise and great in maing sound desions. sadly, we're all busy with different things nowadays so i haven't had the chance to see them jusy yet. soon, hopefully.
Friday, November 26, 2004
gloat
gloat
on loop: bibbo ~ vhong navarro (hahaha)
before i say anything else, i just wanna remind everyone (and myself as well ;p) that this is my blogspace and i'm free to let loose any verbal diarrhea i might have. having said that, i wanna go to my main point now. actually, I RULE. ahahaha how terribly conceited i know but i just have to gloat for a bit to get this out of my system. as i've said before, i'm under training for e-pac since monday, right? this morning, we had a mock revalida. a revalida is a revalidation wherein we aspiring call center agents are made to place calls as we would an actual international client call.... but the difference here is that we are made to act as agents to clients who are played by ceratin higher-ups in the company. out of the original number of 68 in our initial training day last monday, only 36 were left for today... the others having been eliminated. everyone was so tense and shook up while waiting for our turns. i was assigned to place a call to our company's vp for sales. intimidating shit. but what really rocked my boat, after all the circus hulla-baloo, was that i was the only one who made it in our batch. not two, not three, but just me. the call i made was so good that they made me do it again but this time they made me call the line of the training room and they put me on speaker phone for everyone to hear. even the team leaders, qm's and the vp for sales of course was there. i was the only one told that i did good and everyone rushed up to me full of congratulatory remarks and stuff... i haven't ever felt that way before, really. it's different level of euphoria.
it's so hard to explain without sounding too full of myself but i guess i'm just so proud to have made it despite the difficult path. after i made the second call, the vp approached me and asked if i could be honest with him and say if i had applied or am considering other offers from other companies... i said that i was scheduled for my final interview in another call center this afternoon, and in front of the entire batch he said "could i negotiate with you on that? if i gave you a *toot (amount of money)* more than what *toot (name of company b)*, will you disregard your interview and work with us?" needless to say, i was shocked out of my boots. the offer was very good and very un-protocol. the money was very good but i was flustered so i asked for some time to think it over. he then invited me for "coffee with us" ('us' being the higher-ups) and "discuss business". mwahahahaha. bullshit. to cut a long story short, i did good and i'm proud. it was hard and i really, really worked for this so i deserve it. it's loads of fun... i've made so many friends and learned so so so much about about anything and everything about life in general. tonight, our batch will be going to baywalk to celebrate... newfound friendships, i guess? and greater learning hehe. life's great right now. i'm having good and clean fun and learning at the same time :) on the other hand, i miss my friends so much i haven't had the time to hang with any of them lately but hopefully we'll all find some common loose end in our schedules and get together again... there's still nothing like the warmth of your real friends (naks hehe).
**** by the way, i did not intend for this post to practice conceit but simply as a form of record which i could turn back to in the future and see how my first ever job application turned out and what became of my virgin attempt in the corporate world. if you've reached this far in reading my post, thanks for your time :) i really appreciate yopu sharing in my sentiments somehow.
on loop: bibbo ~ vhong navarro (hahaha)
before i say anything else, i just wanna remind everyone (and myself as well ;p) that this is my blogspace and i'm free to let loose any verbal diarrhea i might have. having said that, i wanna go to my main point now. actually, I RULE. ahahaha how terribly conceited i know but i just have to gloat for a bit to get this out of my system. as i've said before, i'm under training for e-pac since monday, right? this morning, we had a mock revalida. a revalida is a revalidation wherein we aspiring call center agents are made to place calls as we would an actual international client call.... but the difference here is that we are made to act as agents to clients who are played by ceratin higher-ups in the company. out of the original number of 68 in our initial training day last monday, only 36 were left for today... the others having been eliminated. everyone was so tense and shook up while waiting for our turns. i was assigned to place a call to our company's vp for sales. intimidating shit. but what really rocked my boat, after all the circus hulla-baloo, was that i was the only one who made it in our batch. not two, not three, but just me. the call i made was so good that they made me do it again but this time they made me call the line of the training room and they put me on speaker phone for everyone to hear. even the team leaders, qm's and the vp for sales of course was there. i was the only one told that i did good and everyone rushed up to me full of congratulatory remarks and stuff... i haven't ever felt that way before, really. it's different level of euphoria.
it's so hard to explain without sounding too full of myself but i guess i'm just so proud to have made it despite the difficult path. after i made the second call, the vp approached me and asked if i could be honest with him and say if i had applied or am considering other offers from other companies... i said that i was scheduled for my final interview in another call center this afternoon, and in front of the entire batch he said "could i negotiate with you on that? if i gave you a *toot (amount of money)* more than what *toot (name of company b)*, will you disregard your interview and work with us?" needless to say, i was shocked out of my boots. the offer was very good and very un-protocol. the money was very good but i was flustered so i asked for some time to think it over. he then invited me for "coffee with us" ('us' being the higher-ups) and "discuss business". mwahahahaha. bullshit. to cut a long story short, i did good and i'm proud. it was hard and i really, really worked for this so i deserve it. it's loads of fun... i've made so many friends and learned so so so much about about anything and everything about life in general. tonight, our batch will be going to baywalk to celebrate... newfound friendships, i guess? and greater learning hehe. life's great right now. i'm having good and clean fun and learning at the same time :) on the other hand, i miss my friends so much i haven't had the time to hang with any of them lately but hopefully we'll all find some common loose end in our schedules and get together again... there's still nothing like the warmth of your real friends (naks hehe).
**** by the way, i did not intend for this post to practice conceit but simply as a form of record which i could turn back to in the future and see how my first ever job application turned out and what became of my virgin attempt in the corporate world. if you've reached this far in reading my post, thanks for your time :) i really appreciate yopu sharing in my sentiments somehow.
Monday, November 22, 2004
free spree
free spree
on loop: can i walk with you ~ india arie
my dad cooked up a surprise for me this entire day :) we were supposed to go to our other house in BF but he cancelled at the last minute, saying that the car wasn't in such good shape to travel so far. he then prepared four dishes for lunch! felt like it was someone's birthday or fiesta or something. there were buttered shrimps, fried tilapia, beef in tomato sauce and roast chicken hehehe. needless to say, i pigged out hahaha. then he promised to finally get me a dvd player for Christmas.. hehe yay! i know i'm like the lamest ever since im still in the vcd stage... pirated at that. so i'm really glad he finally agreed to buy me a player. around 6, when i was lounging around in my room, he comes in surprisingly (he never goes up to my room) and re-installs a phone line in my room hehehe yay... after a few months of confiscating it :) i'm finally connected again hehe. he then suddenly asks me what i was going to wear to my first job training this monday night and i rattled off the usual stuff in my closet that could pass as business attire then my dad told me to get dressed fast coz we were going "somewhere".
i didnt know where we were headed but it turns out we went to an ukay-ukay!!! very cool hehe. the place was huge and clean and bright (not exactly what i imagined tthe place to be but.. BETTER hehe) and CHEAP! i went crazy hehe... i got 4 tops and two slacks, my dad got himself 3 polos and we paid only P860 bucks! amazing :) considering the quality of the items were parallel to those found in mall stores. i personally like a blue sweater with a funky collar and cream slacks that my dad picked out for me. he even found a marks and spencer polo in blue and a dark green ralph lauren! very fab finds :) hehe. we were there for about 2hours, rummaging through the endless racks of great outfits. we left just before 11... after that, i thought we were going home already, but he took me to the night market in greenhills as well. the great thing about shopping with parents is that they pay for your stuff! hahaha. bought some stuff in the night market as well. they had really great polos (basically what i need for work) at 200 to 300 bucks apiece only! i thought it would be around 500, but they apparently pulled the prices down already. my dad just patiently waited for me among the tables near the food stalls even if it was raining. *sigh* i felt guilty about that... on the way home, he talked to me about what i wanted to do with my life. he gave suggestions and advice, but in the end he said that he would support me in whatever i would decide to do. he said i was old enough already and that i had enough brains to handle myself in this tough world.
i really get uncomfortable during talks like this... i'm not used to serious, heartfelt discussions but i know that my dad means well and that he's accepted that not all plans in life are realized. sometimes things have to make a detour before one can get to where they're really supposed to go. i've been thinking these past few days and i realized that maybe i was meant to go the way i am now. it may have seemed like it was a terrible mistake at first but now, i am loving it. i am excited for my job and i feel rejuvenated. i've made plans for the future... sorted out my crazy life, set my priorities straight, and learned a lot while i was at it. people have been great... my friends are very supportive and fun (as always), my blockmates didn't judge me as i first thought they would, and certain people did not forget me as i also thought they would. life's been good. actually, i really dunno what got into my dad as to why he's suddenly really gung-ho on all this being nice stuff, but i don't want to dampen the moment by being a negative speculator. i'm just happy... way beyond material happiness. thank you God for each and every thing.
on loop: can i walk with you ~ india arie
my dad cooked up a surprise for me this entire day :) we were supposed to go to our other house in BF but he cancelled at the last minute, saying that the car wasn't in such good shape to travel so far. he then prepared four dishes for lunch! felt like it was someone's birthday or fiesta or something. there were buttered shrimps, fried tilapia, beef in tomato sauce and roast chicken hehehe. needless to say, i pigged out hahaha. then he promised to finally get me a dvd player for Christmas.. hehe yay! i know i'm like the lamest ever since im still in the vcd stage... pirated at that. so i'm really glad he finally agreed to buy me a player. around 6, when i was lounging around in my room, he comes in surprisingly (he never goes up to my room) and re-installs a phone line in my room hehehe yay... after a few months of confiscating it :) i'm finally connected again hehe. he then suddenly asks me what i was going to wear to my first job training this monday night and i rattled off the usual stuff in my closet that could pass as business attire then my dad told me to get dressed fast coz we were going "somewhere".
i didnt know where we were headed but it turns out we went to an ukay-ukay!!! very cool hehe. the place was huge and clean and bright (not exactly what i imagined tthe place to be but.. BETTER hehe) and CHEAP! i went crazy hehe... i got 4 tops and two slacks, my dad got himself 3 polos and we paid only P860 bucks! amazing :) considering the quality of the items were parallel to those found in mall stores. i personally like a blue sweater with a funky collar and cream slacks that my dad picked out for me. he even found a marks and spencer polo in blue and a dark green ralph lauren! very fab finds :) hehe. we were there for about 2hours, rummaging through the endless racks of great outfits. we left just before 11... after that, i thought we were going home already, but he took me to the night market in greenhills as well. the great thing about shopping with parents is that they pay for your stuff! hahaha. bought some stuff in the night market as well. they had really great polos (basically what i need for work) at 200 to 300 bucks apiece only! i thought it would be around 500, but they apparently pulled the prices down already. my dad just patiently waited for me among the tables near the food stalls even if it was raining. *sigh* i felt guilty about that... on the way home, he talked to me about what i wanted to do with my life. he gave suggestions and advice, but in the end he said that he would support me in whatever i would decide to do. he said i was old enough already and that i had enough brains to handle myself in this tough world.
i really get uncomfortable during talks like this... i'm not used to serious, heartfelt discussions but i know that my dad means well and that he's accepted that not all plans in life are realized. sometimes things have to make a detour before one can get to where they're really supposed to go. i've been thinking these past few days and i realized that maybe i was meant to go the way i am now. it may have seemed like it was a terrible mistake at first but now, i am loving it. i am excited for my job and i feel rejuvenated. i've made plans for the future... sorted out my crazy life, set my priorities straight, and learned a lot while i was at it. people have been great... my friends are very supportive and fun (as always), my blockmates didn't judge me as i first thought they would, and certain people did not forget me as i also thought they would. life's been good. actually, i really dunno what got into my dad as to why he's suddenly really gung-ho on all this being nice stuff, but i don't want to dampen the moment by being a negative speculator. i'm just happy... way beyond material happiness. thank you God for each and every thing.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
quickie
quickie
on loop: all i want for christmas is you ~ mariah carey
wow... just a quick post. im kinda tired right now, just got home. anyway, e-pacific called me back and they want me to give them a try again. ha! just kidding. i gace them a piece of my mind about how ineffecient and lousy they were for not pulling through with their obligation to dessiminate information effectively. haha i had no right to be nagging my prospective future employer but i guess i was doing that in the hope that they'd change their mind about me and just drop me since i was already accepted in this other (more favored actually) company... with a higher pay at that! but e-pac (or atleast my campaign team leader) apologized and tried to arrange the "most convenient" schedule for me... that goes for training and work sched as well. harhar. what a lamer ;p but i appreciate the effort. i'll attend their training on monday since i haven't made my mind up yet (salary din yun! haha). what else what else. life's somehwat easy for me lately... i'm relaxed and care-free. i love being able to spend my time the way i want to... and being able to get up from bed and go back to sleep if i so desired haha. but i do miss school :) terribly. this morning, as i was pondering about life while i was in starbucks podium (after my exam for application), i realized so many things in my life. and i actually am beginning to make plans for myself again. feels great... after my world seemed to have crashed into nothingness when my short-term goals were abruptly yanked from my reach. so far, it's been great going :) life's cool...
on loop: all i want for christmas is you ~ mariah carey
wow... just a quick post. im kinda tired right now, just got home. anyway, e-pacific called me back and they want me to give them a try again. ha! just kidding. i gace them a piece of my mind about how ineffecient and lousy they were for not pulling through with their obligation to dessiminate information effectively. haha i had no right to be nagging my prospective future employer but i guess i was doing that in the hope that they'd change their mind about me and just drop me since i was already accepted in this other (more favored actually) company... with a higher pay at that! but e-pac (or atleast my campaign team leader) apologized and tried to arrange the "most convenient" schedule for me... that goes for training and work sched as well. harhar. what a lamer ;p but i appreciate the effort. i'll attend their training on monday since i haven't made my mind up yet (salary din yun! haha). what else what else. life's somehwat easy for me lately... i'm relaxed and care-free. i love being able to spend my time the way i want to... and being able to get up from bed and go back to sleep if i so desired haha. but i do miss school :) terribly. this morning, as i was pondering about life while i was in starbucks podium (after my exam for application), i realized so many things in my life. and i actually am beginning to make plans for myself again. feels great... after my world seemed to have crashed into nothingness when my short-term goals were abruptly yanked from my reach. so far, it's been great going :) life's cool...
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
not for me
not for me
on loop: baby can i hold you tonight (acoustic) ~ tracy chapman
hrrmm. i've decided to not push through with the job in e-pacific. after i was informed last thursday that i was hired, i was supposed to undergo training last monday. but they were still uncertain whether the training would push through that day since it was an official philippine holiday... and so they said that they would just notify me through SMS, email or phone the official schedule. come saturday, i still had no idea whether the trainin would push through or no and so i called the office. they told me that there were no recruitment or HR personnel available for that day so i should just call back monday. come monday, i called around 8am to inquire bout the training. well, turns out the training did push through that day... and it began at 6am! 6am?! damn. how in hell was i supposed to know that? so anyway, i chucked the idea altogether since i was sure the guy/gay who conducted my final interview would have some catty comments ready for me the (late) minute i'd step into the room. didn't want to deal with that.
anyway, it's all good. a lot of people have been telling me that i really should try another company aside from e-pac (e-fuck, as they fondly refer to it, for some reason that escapes me still). work is intensive in that company daw... no place for a beginner like me. they were quite surprised i even made it through hiring as it is, being an undergrad and all. anyway, a couple of people have been egging me to give teleperformance a try (4F Octagon Bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas). the pay's better and the workload's lighter hehe... plus i know a couple of people who work there as well. and it's nearer to megamall (starbucks, seattles best and mcdo) too! mwhahaha. i've been waiting for a sign as to whether i should go on with e-pac or not, so i suppose the fact that i missed training through no fault of my own is the sign i'm waiting for. i suppose it's not really meant for me. ehehe. oh well. anyway, i hope i do get into TP (i'll be applying on thursday hopefully)... its beginning to sound like a fun place ;p
on loop: baby can i hold you tonight (acoustic) ~ tracy chapman
hrrmm. i've decided to not push through with the job in e-pacific. after i was informed last thursday that i was hired, i was supposed to undergo training last monday. but they were still uncertain whether the training would push through that day since it was an official philippine holiday... and so they said that they would just notify me through SMS, email or phone the official schedule. come saturday, i still had no idea whether the trainin would push through or no and so i called the office. they told me that there were no recruitment or HR personnel available for that day so i should just call back monday. come monday, i called around 8am to inquire bout the training. well, turns out the training did push through that day... and it began at 6am! 6am?! damn. how in hell was i supposed to know that? so anyway, i chucked the idea altogether since i was sure the guy/gay who conducted my final interview would have some catty comments ready for me the (late) minute i'd step into the room. didn't want to deal with that.
anyway, it's all good. a lot of people have been telling me that i really should try another company aside from e-pac (e-fuck, as they fondly refer to it, for some reason that escapes me still). work is intensive in that company daw... no place for a beginner like me. they were quite surprised i even made it through hiring as it is, being an undergrad and all. anyway, a couple of people have been egging me to give teleperformance a try (4F Octagon Bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas). the pay's better and the workload's lighter hehe... plus i know a couple of people who work there as well. and it's nearer to megamall (starbucks, seattles best and mcdo) too! mwhahaha. i've been waiting for a sign as to whether i should go on with e-pac or not, so i suppose the fact that i missed training through no fault of my own is the sign i'm waiting for. i suppose it's not really meant for me. ehehe. oh well. anyway, i hope i do get into TP (i'll be applying on thursday hopefully)... its beginning to sound like a fun place ;p
Monday, November 15, 2004
long days
long days
on loop: Stick Around ~ Azure
watched the incredibles last saturday with andrea, sunshine and her two friends (gio and another guy whose name i cannot remember.. eheh sorry.) the movie lived up to its title... galing! i loved it so much :) the incredibles was incredible (haha baduuyy). also bought a pair of sandals, but unfortunatley, i left the right piece in andrea's car. darn. now i can't use it hehe. i'll just go pick it up from her whenever we're free. met up with bea later on during dinner in sizzling stop. then andrea had to go home and she dropped us off in megamall... after wandering around aimlessly for a bit, we walked (yes, WALKED. i was forced to! haha jk) to galleria and got coffee. we then went to pass for pam after a bit then headed to cantina in katipunan to go drinking! mwahehehe fun! haven't drank that much in quite some time mna rin. buti na lang bea was able to use her car (wine red altis! wow ;p) and her driver to bring all of us home. thanks so much bey :) 'twas a long eventful day... i was pooped on the way home, i didnt even realized i fell asleep na hehe. got home a bit past 3 na, and i was surprised that my dad waited up for me. yikes. hehe but he wasn't really mad... just got a bit of sermon harhar. speaking of my dad, its his 59th birthday tomorrow!!! (november 16) horay! i'll be cooking for him hehehe since i don't have any money to get him a gift ehehe... pahabol na lang next time ;p happy birthday, daddy!
on loop: Stick Around ~ Azure
watched the incredibles last saturday with andrea, sunshine and her two friends (gio and another guy whose name i cannot remember.. eheh sorry.) the movie lived up to its title... galing! i loved it so much :) the incredibles was incredible (haha baduuyy). also bought a pair of sandals, but unfortunatley, i left the right piece in andrea's car. darn. now i can't use it hehe. i'll just go pick it up from her whenever we're free. met up with bea later on during dinner in sizzling stop. then andrea had to go home and she dropped us off in megamall... after wandering around aimlessly for a bit, we walked (yes, WALKED. i was forced to! haha jk) to galleria and got coffee. we then went to pass for pam after a bit then headed to cantina in katipunan to go drinking! mwahehehe fun! haven't drank that much in quite some time mna rin. buti na lang bea was able to use her car (wine red altis! wow ;p) and her driver to bring all of us home. thanks so much bey :) 'twas a long eventful day... i was pooped on the way home, i didnt even realized i fell asleep na hehe. got home a bit past 3 na, and i was surprised that my dad waited up for me. yikes. hehe but he wasn't really mad... just got a bit of sermon harhar. speaking of my dad, its his 59th birthday tomorrow!!! (november 16) horay! i'll be cooking for him hehehe since i don't have any money to get him a gift ehehe... pahabol na lang next time ;p happy birthday, daddy!
Saturday, November 13, 2004
kilig factor
kilig factor
on loop: kilig ko.. mwahahaha
GRABE KINIKILIG AKO! hahaha that just sounds so LAME but what can i do, can't help it. it's really late right now but i'm still running on adrenaline. weird haha. just finished talking to a "friend" haha *wink* whom i haven't heard from for quite some time and i really don't know what's come over me. darn. haven't felt this kilig in a long, long, LONG time :D some things just come at the right place and at the right time. actually, i already logged off the net and shut the pc down and was about to go up to my room already but i got another (ok fine, i'll say it, despite the cheesiness) kilig fit haha so i headed back down and decided to wear it off by blogging for a bit... huling hirit kumbaga. sigh, i just feel like laughing all day everyday. sarap pala ng feeling na ganito haha. anyway, i really must have some sleep. will be catching a movie with shine and gio (her friend) in a few hours... wouldn't wanna be cranky or doze off or something. good. something to distract me before i get too carried away hehe. have a good weekend, everyone! ciao :)
on loop: kilig ko.. mwahahaha
GRABE KINIKILIG AKO! hahaha that just sounds so LAME but what can i do, can't help it. it's really late right now but i'm still running on adrenaline. weird haha. just finished talking to a "friend" haha *wink* whom i haven't heard from for quite some time and i really don't know what's come over me. darn. haven't felt this kilig in a long, long, LONG time :D some things just come at the right place and at the right time. actually, i already logged off the net and shut the pc down and was about to go up to my room already but i got another (ok fine, i'll say it, despite the cheesiness) kilig fit haha so i headed back down and decided to wear it off by blogging for a bit... huling hirit kumbaga. sigh, i just feel like laughing all day everyday. sarap pala ng feeling na ganito haha. anyway, i really must have some sleep. will be catching a movie with shine and gio (her friend) in a few hours... wouldn't wanna be cranky or doze off or something. good. something to distract me before i get too carried away hehe. have a good weekend, everyone! ciao :)
poetry and poesy
poetry and poesy
on loop: i'm still in love with you ~ new edition
hrrmmm... not everyone has it in them to appreciate poetry. i'm glad that somehow, in some way, i do. i may not be the most intelliegent audience but i can be a heartfelt one. anyway, one of my most favorite poets is maya angelou. if my terms serve me correctly, she's a post-modern poet... not really those classical types. well, as a little salute to her work and to the message they convey, i've decided to post a couple of my more favorite works of hers.
"Phenomenal Woman"
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
i really liked this piece because of the conviction in her words. also, the thoughts the reader is made to think are very provocative (not in a malicious sense of course Ü). i heard from someone that she was quite a feminist... it comes through a bit in this work. in poetry, i tend to appreciate the prose more than the form. i look into the words more than in it's construction, though that in itself is a huge factor in the effectivity of the piece. eheh.
this next poem is one of my personal favorites. i recited this during lit class back in 1st year college and i actually felt for it at that time. the words she used are very powerful and i find her to be a genius in her field. not that many people recognize her as a 'poet' since some people have this image in their head that poets are usually men from the neo-classical era... hrrmm. not so. anyway, hope you guys enjoy hehe.
"Still I Rise"
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
*****
"dancing with your feet is one thing... dancing with your heart is another."
on loop: i'm still in love with you ~ new edition
hrrmmm... not everyone has it in them to appreciate poetry. i'm glad that somehow, in some way, i do. i may not be the most intelliegent audience but i can be a heartfelt one. anyway, one of my most favorite poets is maya angelou. if my terms serve me correctly, she's a post-modern poet... not really those classical types. well, as a little salute to her work and to the message they convey, i've decided to post a couple of my more favorite works of hers.
"Phenomenal Woman"
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
i really liked this piece because of the conviction in her words. also, the thoughts the reader is made to think are very provocative (not in a malicious sense of course Ü). i heard from someone that she was quite a feminist... it comes through a bit in this work. in poetry, i tend to appreciate the prose more than the form. i look into the words more than in it's construction, though that in itself is a huge factor in the effectivity of the piece. eheh.
this next poem is one of my personal favorites. i recited this during lit class back in 1st year college and i actually felt for it at that time. the words she used are very powerful and i find her to be a genius in her field. not that many people recognize her as a 'poet' since some people have this image in their head that poets are usually men from the neo-classical era... hrrmm. not so. anyway, hope you guys enjoy hehe.
"Still I Rise"
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
*****
"dancing with your feet is one thing... dancing with your heart is another."
Friday, November 12, 2004
attempt # 1
attempt # 1
on loop: oh well ~ boyz II men
a minute or two
if i had a minute or two
i would spend it with you
let the days stretch into nights
have the darkness turn to light
if you gave me a minute or two
you would see the love that grew
struggling to express itself
spread its wings and flew
if i lost a minute or two
it would matter not
since you never knew
the heart that swam in salt
if you spent a minute or two
i would give all of mine
to be the one there for you
at that space in time
but all i have is a minute or two
of wasted lifetimes and broken dreams
spiralling past my reach
torn apart at the seams
and so i go on a search across sands of time
and all i had was hope and want as my crew
and maybe just so to bide my minute or twos
trying to find when the minute was when i lost you.
****
ehehe. meet my rotten attempt to come up with an artistic poem... made one earlier during the day but dismissed it as even more rubbish than this one so i made this right on the spot (hopefully to let the creative juices flow.. to no avail), but i retained the title. this is my first poem in... six years? yeah. or something. i'm not very good, even before when i used to really write... so don't expect any great shakes (as bea would say ;p). must be the damp weather talking.
anyway, i'm planning to put up a litblog, where i can post poems and narratives (short stories, dialogues, manuscripts etc) since i really wanna start writing again. i miss the feeling of being able to express myself through words that are in themselves, wanting to be expressed and being expressions all at the same time. there's something about poetry that's so personal and soulful, and i want to be able to create something like that again.
on loop: oh well ~ boyz II men
a minute or two
if i had a minute or two
i would spend it with you
let the days stretch into nights
have the darkness turn to light
if you gave me a minute or two
you would see the love that grew
struggling to express itself
spread its wings and flew
if i lost a minute or two
it would matter not
since you never knew
the heart that swam in salt
if you spent a minute or two
i would give all of mine
to be the one there for you
at that space in time
but all i have is a minute or two
of wasted lifetimes and broken dreams
spiralling past my reach
torn apart at the seams
and so i go on a search across sands of time
and all i had was hope and want as my crew
and maybe just so to bide my minute or twos
trying to find when the minute was when i lost you.
****
ehehe. meet my rotten attempt to come up with an artistic poem... made one earlier during the day but dismissed it as even more rubbish than this one so i made this right on the spot (hopefully to let the creative juices flow.. to no avail), but i retained the title. this is my first poem in... six years? yeah. or something. i'm not very good, even before when i used to really write... so don't expect any great shakes (as bea would say ;p). must be the damp weather talking.
anyway, i'm planning to put up a litblog, where i can post poems and narratives (short stories, dialogues, manuscripts etc) since i really wanna start writing again. i miss the feeling of being able to express myself through words that are in themselves, wanting to be expressed and being expressions all at the same time. there's something about poetry that's so personal and soulful, and i want to be able to create something like that again.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
joke time!
joke time!
on loop: water runs dry ~ boyz II men
o eto na mga kids! joke time na 'to! (cue in jologs music) *mwahehehehe*
Who is the/is....
Chinese born during the night? Andy Lim
born blind? Kenneth Sy
born being swindled? Lino Koh
born while cooking? Nilo Toh
born as 10th child? Sam Poo
born while being courted? Lily Gaw
born fat? Bob Uy
born cannot walk? Kent Go
born little? Kathy Ting
born with real estate? Lot Te
born different? Eva Yan
born with porridge? Lino Gaw
born looking for someone? Allen Sia
born while counterfeiting? Faye King
born during Sunday? Lyn Goh
born with malice? Mali Sia
born angry with someone? Ally Tan
born with picture? Lara Huan
born with sweets? Ken Dee
born undefined? Sam Ting
born while taking a bath? Lily Goh
born while buying? Bill Lee
born secretly? Tina Goh
born pretty and sexy and perfect? shempre ako lang! (ito yung pinakamalupet na joke... yung punchline baga hahahaha)
wala nang gagaya, ok? (thanks nga pala dun sa pinag-kopyahan ko nito ahehehe) joke :D
*****
anyway. i had my final interview for THE job last night at 9PM... needless to say, i bombed it, totally. i did not expect it to go THAT bad. we were around 20 to 30 in a room and the interviewer (a really intimidating guy (pa-girl? no doubt 'bout it) whom, i hate to admit, had a really good head on his shoulders) just started throwing questions at random people (he pulled out resumes and shit), thing is, that wouldn't have been so bad but he made it so much worse by totally interrogating you and (the perfect word) attacking you by refuting your answers. gawrsh. worst interview i've had my entire life. i was shaking so bad from being rattled so much. i was doing allright throughout the application prcedure (exams, orientations, interviews) but when it came to him, i knew i had reached the end of that streak. he was demanding and unnerving all at the same time. to cut the longstory short, i still got the job. hooray! kinda tired right now so i'll elaborate on the job description later on. the feeling of being accepted was something else... i didn't expect to be so happy about it. haha, and relieved na rin, i guess. i am now officially a working individual. damn weird. anyway, bahala na. joke time na lang uli tayo! hehehe :)
on loop: water runs dry ~ boyz II men
o eto na mga kids! joke time na 'to! (cue in jologs music) *mwahehehehe*
Who is the/is....
Chinese born during the night? Andy Lim
born blind? Kenneth Sy
born being swindled? Lino Koh
born while cooking? Nilo Toh
born as 10th child? Sam Poo
born while being courted? Lily Gaw
born fat? Bob Uy
born cannot walk? Kent Go
born little? Kathy Ting
born with real estate? Lot Te
born different? Eva Yan
born with porridge? Lino Gaw
born looking for someone? Allen Sia
born while counterfeiting? Faye King
born during Sunday? Lyn Goh
born with malice? Mali Sia
born angry with someone? Ally Tan
born with picture? Lara Huan
born with sweets? Ken Dee
born undefined? Sam Ting
born while taking a bath? Lily Goh
born while buying? Bill Lee
born secretly? Tina Goh
born pretty and sexy and perfect? shempre ako lang! (ito yung pinakamalupet na joke... yung punchline baga hahahaha)
wala nang gagaya, ok? (thanks nga pala dun sa pinag-kopyahan ko nito ahehehe) joke :D
*****
anyway. i had my final interview for THE job last night at 9PM... needless to say, i bombed it, totally. i did not expect it to go THAT bad. we were around 20 to 30 in a room and the interviewer (a really intimidating guy (pa-girl? no doubt 'bout it) whom, i hate to admit, had a really good head on his shoulders) just started throwing questions at random people (he pulled out resumes and shit), thing is, that wouldn't have been so bad but he made it so much worse by totally interrogating you and (the perfect word) attacking you by refuting your answers. gawrsh. worst interview i've had my entire life. i was shaking so bad from being rattled so much. i was doing allright throughout the application prcedure (exams, orientations, interviews) but when it came to him, i knew i had reached the end of that streak. he was demanding and unnerving all at the same time. to cut the longstory short, i still got the job. hooray! kinda tired right now so i'll elaborate on the job description later on. the feeling of being accepted was something else... i didn't expect to be so happy about it. haha, and relieved na rin, i guess. i am now officially a working individual. damn weird. anyway, bahala na. joke time na lang uli tayo! hehehe :)
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
first time
first time
on loop: baby it's you ~ jojo feat. bow wow
sigh. had my job interview this afternoon in ePacific Global (a call center on the 34th floor of Antel Global Bldg in ortigas). i was asked to come at 1 PM after i sent my resume online last friday night. in typical Hyannah fashion, i came in late. fart. as in, big time late. but i wasn't too concerned about it... it's not like i'm dying to get this job or anything but i admit it was terribly unprofessional of me to do so. so anyway when i got there, first thing i noticed was that i was so underdressed. damn... everyone were in suits and stuff. and i thought i dressed up pretty well already (striped POLO, black slacks and boots plus a stupid leather bag.. haha unimaginable horror for a girl who lives on shirts, jeans and slippers). when i caught a glimpse of myself walking along the glass door-lined corridor, i got a start coz i almost couldn't recongnize myself haha. working girl na (yeuch!). so anyway, i was asked to come at 1PM pala because a certain ms.kaye (head of, like, the HR dep or something) signed me up for the training already, so needless to say, i missed it. and since she wasn't there, they asked me to come back 1t 9AM the next day. darn.
i also took an online exam... it was actually difficult. haha. i thought it wasn't going to be so hard... really made me think (and actually gave me a headache). it wasn't an IQ test or anything... it was more of communication skills exam. they ask you to complete sentences such as "I would be the happiest person in the world if __________________ ." or "My biggest frustration is ________________________ ." etc etc.. a hella lot of those, some of them really though-provoking ones that got me stumped for a while. it was also really long! like, 30 questions of the like. and under time constraint at that. then there were the essay questions too... like, dialogue-type wherein they say you have this client that's freaking out on the other line, what do you say, or something like i call some teenage bum in ohio and i have to promote a newly launched prepaid card... how would i do that etc etc. wow i wasn't ready for the test. also had to fill out an application/resume form that was 8 pages long... wow. they fished for so much info, was running out of things to put, since i was not able to prepare like a list of seminars i've attended etc etc. all of this was done in a desktop, each of us with our own. i actually dig the workplace hehe. you get your own pc, phone and file cabinet hehe.
got to meet a few people, some young'uns (fresh grads and some oldies etc.)... they really prepared for this day. they went around pa daw, asking for tips and stuff. yikes. anyway, hope i make it. for pride's sake, actually hehe. and hope i do good on the major interview tomorrow, my biggest fear is making a fool out of myself. had many of those instances already kanina... kinda intimidating coz i think i'm like, the youngest one there on the entire floor and i felt like a huge dolt, what with everyone giving me the eye or something. blech. my dad was actually really very sweet coz he drove me there and waited for me for like 3 hours... awww. i would have fallen to pieces if he wasn't there. owe him big time... couldn't have done it without him :) guess i'm not so independent after all. so that makes me think, am i really cut out for work already? hehe we'll find out soon enough ;)
on loop: baby it's you ~ jojo feat. bow wow
sigh. had my job interview this afternoon in ePacific Global (a call center on the 34th floor of Antel Global Bldg in ortigas). i was asked to come at 1 PM after i sent my resume online last friday night. in typical Hyannah fashion, i came in late. fart. as in, big time late. but i wasn't too concerned about it... it's not like i'm dying to get this job or anything but i admit it was terribly unprofessional of me to do so. so anyway when i got there, first thing i noticed was that i was so underdressed. damn... everyone were in suits and stuff. and i thought i dressed up pretty well already (striped POLO, black slacks and boots plus a stupid leather bag.. haha unimaginable horror for a girl who lives on shirts, jeans and slippers). when i caught a glimpse of myself walking along the glass door-lined corridor, i got a start coz i almost couldn't recongnize myself haha. working girl na (yeuch!). so anyway, i was asked to come at 1PM pala because a certain ms.kaye (head of, like, the HR dep or something) signed me up for the training already, so needless to say, i missed it. and since she wasn't there, they asked me to come back 1t 9AM the next day. darn.
i also took an online exam... it was actually difficult. haha. i thought it wasn't going to be so hard... really made me think (and actually gave me a headache). it wasn't an IQ test or anything... it was more of communication skills exam. they ask you to complete sentences such as "I would be the happiest person in the world if __________________ ." or "My biggest frustration is ________________________ ." etc etc.. a hella lot of those, some of them really though-provoking ones that got me stumped for a while. it was also really long! like, 30 questions of the like. and under time constraint at that. then there were the essay questions too... like, dialogue-type wherein they say you have this client that's freaking out on the other line, what do you say, or something like i call some teenage bum in ohio and i have to promote a newly launched prepaid card... how would i do that etc etc. wow i wasn't ready for the test. also had to fill out an application/resume form that was 8 pages long... wow. they fished for so much info, was running out of things to put, since i was not able to prepare like a list of seminars i've attended etc etc. all of this was done in a desktop, each of us with our own. i actually dig the workplace hehe. you get your own pc, phone and file cabinet hehe.
got to meet a few people, some young'uns (fresh grads and some oldies etc.)... they really prepared for this day. they went around pa daw, asking for tips and stuff. yikes. anyway, hope i make it. for pride's sake, actually hehe. and hope i do good on the major interview tomorrow, my biggest fear is making a fool out of myself. had many of those instances already kanina... kinda intimidating coz i think i'm like, the youngest one there on the entire floor and i felt like a huge dolt, what with everyone giving me the eye or something. blech. my dad was actually really very sweet coz he drove me there and waited for me for like 3 hours... awww. i would have fallen to pieces if he wasn't there. owe him big time... couldn't have done it without him :) guess i'm not so independent after all. so that makes me think, am i really cut out for work already? hehe we'll find out soon enough ;)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
excited
excited
on loop: sunday morning ~ maroon 5
i am SO excited to start working. even if the field/industry i have chosen to enter (call center industry) isn't so prominent, it pays big. muhahaha! it's all bout the money! just kidding Ü don't want to seem like such a money fiend here. i'm just really glad to be trying out something new. i've learned a lot these past few nights (thanks bern hehe) about telecommunications and telemarketing... mainly outsourcing and inbound/outbound sales production. my friend prodded me just last night (more like at 4am this afternoon) to send my resume to a couple of these companies through the internet. everything's so high-falutin nowadays! i thought i had to scour the newspaper for call center job openings haha. i'm such a fuddy-duddy. so, i did send out my resume to a couple of these companies (ePacific Global and Epixtar Telecommunications). my application to ePacific was sent back to me with the reason that there was some inetrnat server error 505 blahblah, so i thought nothing became of that. but lo and behold, when i came home this afternoon, my dad said a Kaye called. Kaye?, isaid, I didn't know a Kaye...
turns out she was from ePacific Global (34/F Antel Global Bldg., Julia Vargas Ave., Ortigas) and she set me up for an appointment on monday at 1PM. i have yet to return her call and confirm my initial interview since i'm waiting for my friend Bea to apply herself. my other friend said it's very rare that they be the ones to call you and so soon at that, usually it's the applicant that has to wait long, long days (even weeks) for any word from them. applicants also have to get to these offices at like, 7am just so they could be first in the LONG line of applicants vying for an interview. i should be so lucky daw that i was given some degree of priority. very cool. thank you for, God this little grace that could go a long way with your will.
*****
here's something cool to try when you're bored: while sitting down, try turning your right leg clockwise... then try drawing imaginary number six (6) figures in the sir with your right hand/arm. your leg will change direction no matter how you try to keep it from doing so. there's nothing you can do about it! mwahahaha (of course, you could stop doing those silly little circles and trying to figure out how'd that happen... ;p).
on loop: sunday morning ~ maroon 5
i am SO excited to start working. even if the field/industry i have chosen to enter (call center industry) isn't so prominent, it pays big. muhahaha! it's all bout the money! just kidding Ü don't want to seem like such a money fiend here. i'm just really glad to be trying out something new. i've learned a lot these past few nights (thanks bern hehe) about telecommunications and telemarketing... mainly outsourcing and inbound/outbound sales production. my friend prodded me just last night (more like at 4am this afternoon) to send my resume to a couple of these companies through the internet. everything's so high-falutin nowadays! i thought i had to scour the newspaper for call center job openings haha. i'm such a fuddy-duddy. so, i did send out my resume to a couple of these companies (ePacific Global and Epixtar Telecommunications). my application to ePacific was sent back to me with the reason that there was some inetrnat server error 505 blahblah, so i thought nothing became of that. but lo and behold, when i came home this afternoon, my dad said a Kaye called. Kaye?, isaid, I didn't know a Kaye...
turns out she was from ePacific Global (34/F Antel Global Bldg., Julia Vargas Ave., Ortigas) and she set me up for an appointment on monday at 1PM. i have yet to return her call and confirm my initial interview since i'm waiting for my friend Bea to apply herself. my other friend said it's very rare that they be the ones to call you and so soon at that, usually it's the applicant that has to wait long, long days (even weeks) for any word from them. applicants also have to get to these offices at like, 7am just so they could be first in the LONG line of applicants vying for an interview. i should be so lucky daw that i was given some degree of priority. very cool. thank you for, God this little grace that could go a long way with your will.
*****
here's something cool to try when you're bored: while sitting down, try turning your right leg clockwise... then try drawing imaginary number six (6) figures in the sir with your right hand/arm. your leg will change direction no matter how you try to keep it from doing so. there's nothing you can do about it! mwahahaha (of course, you could stop doing those silly little circles and trying to figure out how'd that happen... ;p).
Thursday, November 04, 2004
dreams and dreamers
dreams and dreamers
on loop: look what you've done ~ jet
"look what you've done, you've made a fool out of everyone... it seems such fun, until you lose what you've won." - look what you've done, jet
isn't it so funny that dreams come when we are in slumber? probably because at that interval between life and death, we are at rest and up to some degree, some form of peace. it is at these moments that we are free to picture the things that we would want for ourselves... plans and ambitions, wants and desires, minus the harsh realities of the waking world that somehow get between dreams and reality. we see what we would like to achieve for ourselves, what we would want to have and hold. what's so funny is that even if these beautiful ideas come in sleep, one must wake up and leave these dreams behind in order to reach them for real. i'm not being very clear here with what i'm trying to say, but someday the point will come.
i am so pissed, actually. the gravity of the situation only dawned on me a few minutes ago. i am out of school i am part of the population that should be in school, but is not. the sucky thing about this is that, i want to be in school... i can afford it, i have a school and i have plans. i know i'm being so selfish right now, just whining and complaining about things i brought about myself, but i just cannot deal with the fact that i was dropped like a hot potato by the school i have grown to love, admire, and pledge loyalty to. just because i could not shift into another course. where's the justice in that? well, i suppose i deserve this, i know i really do. that much i admit. but that doesn't mean i can handle it. because right now, i am just at a loss.
for the first time in the entire period from when my memory began to work, i am not in school. i honestly cannot recall a time when i was not enrolled in an educational institution, and the thought that i am out in the open field with nothing to my name but time and failure, is extremely disconcerting. i have no idea what to do. it isn't so easy, after all. i cannot afford to go lying around, really. first, because it is against my nature to be unproductive, not stressed and un-busy. second, i have no money to throw around while waiting for the world to come pick me back up again. and third, i am not prepared to face issues like this... but at the same time, no one else can fix it for me. i just have to face the music, i have failed... big time. there goes everything i had going for myself.
people might say things such as i'm being fatalistic or that i'm a silly girl or that there are more, much more people out there in worse situations than i am. i know that, but the thing is, i am not in their shoes... and they are not in mine. so let's just deal with our own problems, allright? it wouldn't be a problem if it weren't barricading me from something. and this something is a good future. then again, a problem isn't a problem if there isn't a solution. i have always told myself that. my dad told me that this is my "destiny for this matter" and he even went as far as to say that i will have an extremely difficult time to achieve my life-long dream and purpose. it's the same as saying all the hard work i've put in my whole life, no exaggeration, is now nothing. this is an all or nothing issue for me. i guess it ain't all. my dad said that this is a turning point in my life. i have turned and slipped. i've fallen.
i dunno why this is such a big deal... when people always fall out of school and stuff. but the thing is, i was happy with how my life was going. everything was in perspective. and suddenly, in a snap, it's all gone. it's not just being in school... it's the fact that i was in the school of my dreams, in the course of my dreams, living out my dream and yet i let it slip away because i let myself make wrong decisions. i guess i'm so miserable right now because i have no purpose anymore whatsoever. i have lost everything i have worked for. and i don't think i can get it back. and no, i don't want to busy myslef with 'other' things 'just for the heck of it', because that would be stupid. and i don't wanna be stupid anymore. for now, this is my time to be miserable and wallow in the fact that i suck. people should just please grant me this tiem and space to bang my head on the proverbial wall and try to reprimand myself and at the same time, knock some sense into my head.
"i was once a dreamer. i dreamed big dreams and hurdled many nightmares while i was at it. then the time came that i woke up and realized dreams aren't all they're made out to be. now i know where bitter realists come from." - |ñ??æ|, 11-05-04
on loop: look what you've done ~ jet
"look what you've done, you've made a fool out of everyone... it seems such fun, until you lose what you've won." - look what you've done, jet
isn't it so funny that dreams come when we are in slumber? probably because at that interval between life and death, we are at rest and up to some degree, some form of peace. it is at these moments that we are free to picture the things that we would want for ourselves... plans and ambitions, wants and desires, minus the harsh realities of the waking world that somehow get between dreams and reality. we see what we would like to achieve for ourselves, what we would want to have and hold. what's so funny is that even if these beautiful ideas come in sleep, one must wake up and leave these dreams behind in order to reach them for real. i'm not being very clear here with what i'm trying to say, but someday the point will come.
i am so pissed, actually. the gravity of the situation only dawned on me a few minutes ago. i am out of school i am part of the population that should be in school, but is not. the sucky thing about this is that, i want to be in school... i can afford it, i have a school and i have plans. i know i'm being so selfish right now, just whining and complaining about things i brought about myself, but i just cannot deal with the fact that i was dropped like a hot potato by the school i have grown to love, admire, and pledge loyalty to. just because i could not shift into another course. where's the justice in that? well, i suppose i deserve this, i know i really do. that much i admit. but that doesn't mean i can handle it. because right now, i am just at a loss.
for the first time in the entire period from when my memory began to work, i am not in school. i honestly cannot recall a time when i was not enrolled in an educational institution, and the thought that i am out in the open field with nothing to my name but time and failure, is extremely disconcerting. i have no idea what to do. it isn't so easy, after all. i cannot afford to go lying around, really. first, because it is against my nature to be unproductive, not stressed and un-busy. second, i have no money to throw around while waiting for the world to come pick me back up again. and third, i am not prepared to face issues like this... but at the same time, no one else can fix it for me. i just have to face the music, i have failed... big time. there goes everything i had going for myself.
people might say things such as i'm being fatalistic or that i'm a silly girl or that there are more, much more people out there in worse situations than i am. i know that, but the thing is, i am not in their shoes... and they are not in mine. so let's just deal with our own problems, allright? it wouldn't be a problem if it weren't barricading me from something. and this something is a good future. then again, a problem isn't a problem if there isn't a solution. i have always told myself that. my dad told me that this is my "destiny for this matter" and he even went as far as to say that i will have an extremely difficult time to achieve my life-long dream and purpose. it's the same as saying all the hard work i've put in my whole life, no exaggeration, is now nothing. this is an all or nothing issue for me. i guess it ain't all. my dad said that this is a turning point in my life. i have turned and slipped. i've fallen.
i dunno why this is such a big deal... when people always fall out of school and stuff. but the thing is, i was happy with how my life was going. everything was in perspective. and suddenly, in a snap, it's all gone. it's not just being in school... it's the fact that i was in the school of my dreams, in the course of my dreams, living out my dream and yet i let it slip away because i let myself make wrong decisions. i guess i'm so miserable right now because i have no purpose anymore whatsoever. i have lost everything i have worked for. and i don't think i can get it back. and no, i don't want to busy myslef with 'other' things 'just for the heck of it', because that would be stupid. and i don't wanna be stupid anymore. for now, this is my time to be miserable and wallow in the fact that i suck. people should just please grant me this tiem and space to bang my head on the proverbial wall and try to reprimand myself and at the same time, knock some sense into my head.
"i was once a dreamer. i dreamed big dreams and hurdled many nightmares while i was at it. then the time came that i woke up and realized dreams aren't all they're made out to be. now i know where bitter realists come from." - |ñ??æ|, 11-05-04
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
realizations
realizations
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i realized something just now..... i'm too trivial. i don't take things seriously, i don't even take myself seriously. i dilly-dally too much with nonsense. i should definitely take control now. i want to let go of past baggage... forget all the pressures and stress that have been part of what put me down. of course, it's not that easy. i know that i simply cannot forget responsibilities... i just don't want to deal with them right now. i need some time for myself and with myself. as much as possible, i want to start anew. i feel like i am somehow... changing? not totally, but i guess in some ways that i have to. i also realized that too many other things occupied my mind (past tense, i'm trying to forget them) these past few months. i didn't get to arrange my priorities. i should have sensed what i needed and what i wanted... what could wait and what couldn't... what were immature nonsense and valuable necessities. i also realize that i associated myself with many things that i really didn't need and could have done without. tsk tsk shucks the mistakes.
i now know how to value my time more... everyone really should learn to look in upon themselves and see all the leaks and broken floorboards that somehow need repair. contemplation, as they call it. after which i bet one would come out refreshed and with a renewed sense of life. i thought i was pretty sensible... i was wrong. whenever i sat down and tried to sort out my thoughts, i end up shifting the blame to someone else or something else outside of myself. that way, i think i was unconsciously wiping myself free of blame and responsibility. now, i know better. that theres is no other way to deal with a problem than to face it. not put it off for later, hoping it'll rememdy itself on it's own. that doesn't work in this side of the universe. now my only problems are the leftover problems from the past. i have no intention of escaping them or leaving them be, i will fix them. but i want to do so on my own volition. all i ask for is some time work things out. no stress and pressure. i feel as if i would retalliate and then crumble into pieces if faced with pressure and stress. not very good. i am somehow at peace now. *crosses legs and eyes, then hums a buddhist chant* just kidding hehe Ü
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i realized something just now..... i'm too trivial. i don't take things seriously, i don't even take myself seriously. i dilly-dally too much with nonsense. i should definitely take control now. i want to let go of past baggage... forget all the pressures and stress that have been part of what put me down. of course, it's not that easy. i know that i simply cannot forget responsibilities... i just don't want to deal with them right now. i need some time for myself and with myself. as much as possible, i want to start anew. i feel like i am somehow... changing? not totally, but i guess in some ways that i have to. i also realized that too many other things occupied my mind (past tense, i'm trying to forget them) these past few months. i didn't get to arrange my priorities. i should have sensed what i needed and what i wanted... what could wait and what couldn't... what were immature nonsense and valuable necessities. i also realize that i associated myself with many things that i really didn't need and could have done without. tsk tsk shucks the mistakes.
i now know how to value my time more... everyone really should learn to look in upon themselves and see all the leaks and broken floorboards that somehow need repair. contemplation, as they call it. after which i bet one would come out refreshed and with a renewed sense of life. i thought i was pretty sensible... i was wrong. whenever i sat down and tried to sort out my thoughts, i end up shifting the blame to someone else or something else outside of myself. that way, i think i was unconsciously wiping myself free of blame and responsibility. now, i know better. that theres is no other way to deal with a problem than to face it. not put it off for later, hoping it'll rememdy itself on it's own. that doesn't work in this side of the universe. now my only problems are the leftover problems from the past. i have no intention of escaping them or leaving them be, i will fix them. but i want to do so on my own volition. all i ask for is some time work things out. no stress and pressure. i feel as if i would retalliate and then crumble into pieces if faced with pressure and stress. not very good. i am somehow at peace now. *crosses legs and eyes, then hums a buddhist chant* just kidding hehe Ü
Monday, November 01, 2004
acid test
acid test
on loop: these words ~ natasha bedingfield
it's such a shock to have your life all planned out one minute, then all empty and non-directional the next. so weird to have it happen right in front of you and yet you hardly saw it coming. that's probably what they mean when they say "you wouldn't know it till it bit you right in the nose". roughly 72 hours ago, i had quite a vivid blueprint of how i was going to live out the near future. i was going to study, of course, it is my number one priority (up there with family and God). it would be a prerequisite for my number two priority, career. i didn't want to end up as some jobless bum roaming around for hand-me-downs. i do not want to be mediocre. and i do not want to live a life of regret, knowing that at one point, i had somehow let go of everything because of several stupid decisions.
stopping school for this coming semester is not a decision for me. it is a consequence. though i could say that i could have stayed in school, i know that i am headed downhill. it's too soon to say that this LOA might be for the better, because i don't know if it really is. i should have made better use of my time these past few months. i was too jaded to realize that life cannot be lived on a day to day basis... i should have had some sense of forethought and planning for the future. i had forgotten about tomorrows, and lived for todays and yesterday. my dad told me that tomorrows are merely today's yesterdays, or something to that effect. he said that i am being put on "acid test", to determine what, i am not sure.
going on LOA isn't really a big, dramatic deal. i guess it's just the disappointment and loss of time that's not settling that well with me. i cannot afford to lie around thinking of things to do with my life... i have to keep moving. but unfortunately, things took a turn for something else. i know that there really is no one else to blame but me. i failed to be efficient with my life. i really should have known better. it really is true what my mom always told me when i was young that "nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi (regret is always at the end)". i should have listened to my parents. they certainly knew better. but i don't believe in dwelling on should-haves and what-ifs... contemplating about them is good enough, but as soon as you get the lesson out of the experience, i think i should move on and quit regrets and finger-pointing.
as of now, i really don't want to deal with any stress or pressure. i want to plan my time well. i'm thinking of getting a job, in a (typical filipino fashion) call center if ever i can learn the ropes of landing a job there. it's better that i earn some money while i'm not in school. my friend's sister works in one and he might help me apply there. it's not so easy as it seems after all, there are certain terms (such as CSR and TSR) regarding the industry that i should be familiar with. starting pay is around 12k a month. not so bad, i guess. i want to keep myself busy for the 6 months or so that i'll be out of school. it'll be my first real taste of life outside the academic environment. i'm scared, i admit. it is after all, my first tiem to venture into this. i want to be independent for now, and try to develop myself and know for sure what i really want in life. i shouldn't be dilly-dallying as if the years would just regress while waiting for me to make up my mind.
i hope that this time would be productive for me and that i'll be able to make up for lost time. if luck so provides, i would be able to grow and be more responsible and mature. i think i've been living too much of a teenager's life, with no worries and such. i should learn to let go of that mentality, even if i would want to remain young for as long as i could. maybe this time would be a good opportunity for me to work on myself, by myself. i want to see how well i'd do on my own. it's not as if i'm running away from home or what, my dad will still be around to guide and support me but i want to try to be more active in running my life. not just "going with the flow". i should set my priorities straight. i now know that in order for me to follow through with this plan, i should make some sacrifices and lifestyle changes. i should be able to let go of certain things and at the same time, acquire some others. it won't be easy but i keep in mind that i'm doing this for myself and ultimately, for everyone around me. hope i do well on the test... and that the acid won't sting too bad.
on loop: these words ~ natasha bedingfield
it's such a shock to have your life all planned out one minute, then all empty and non-directional the next. so weird to have it happen right in front of you and yet you hardly saw it coming. that's probably what they mean when they say "you wouldn't know it till it bit you right in the nose". roughly 72 hours ago, i had quite a vivid blueprint of how i was going to live out the near future. i was going to study, of course, it is my number one priority (up there with family and God). it would be a prerequisite for my number two priority, career. i didn't want to end up as some jobless bum roaming around for hand-me-downs. i do not want to be mediocre. and i do not want to live a life of regret, knowing that at one point, i had somehow let go of everything because of several stupid decisions.
stopping school for this coming semester is not a decision for me. it is a consequence. though i could say that i could have stayed in school, i know that i am headed downhill. it's too soon to say that this LOA might be for the better, because i don't know if it really is. i should have made better use of my time these past few months. i was too jaded to realize that life cannot be lived on a day to day basis... i should have had some sense of forethought and planning for the future. i had forgotten about tomorrows, and lived for todays and yesterday. my dad told me that tomorrows are merely today's yesterdays, or something to that effect. he said that i am being put on "acid test", to determine what, i am not sure.
going on LOA isn't really a big, dramatic deal. i guess it's just the disappointment and loss of time that's not settling that well with me. i cannot afford to lie around thinking of things to do with my life... i have to keep moving. but unfortunately, things took a turn for something else. i know that there really is no one else to blame but me. i failed to be efficient with my life. i really should have known better. it really is true what my mom always told me when i was young that "nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi (regret is always at the end)". i should have listened to my parents. they certainly knew better. but i don't believe in dwelling on should-haves and what-ifs... contemplating about them is good enough, but as soon as you get the lesson out of the experience, i think i should move on and quit regrets and finger-pointing.
as of now, i really don't want to deal with any stress or pressure. i want to plan my time well. i'm thinking of getting a job, in a (typical filipino fashion) call center if ever i can learn the ropes of landing a job there. it's better that i earn some money while i'm not in school. my friend's sister works in one and he might help me apply there. it's not so easy as it seems after all, there are certain terms (such as CSR and TSR) regarding the industry that i should be familiar with. starting pay is around 12k a month. not so bad, i guess. i want to keep myself busy for the 6 months or so that i'll be out of school. it'll be my first real taste of life outside the academic environment. i'm scared, i admit. it is after all, my first tiem to venture into this. i want to be independent for now, and try to develop myself and know for sure what i really want in life. i shouldn't be dilly-dallying as if the years would just regress while waiting for me to make up my mind.
i hope that this time would be productive for me and that i'll be able to make up for lost time. if luck so provides, i would be able to grow and be more responsible and mature. i think i've been living too much of a teenager's life, with no worries and such. i should learn to let go of that mentality, even if i would want to remain young for as long as i could. maybe this time would be a good opportunity for me to work on myself, by myself. i want to see how well i'd do on my own. it's not as if i'm running away from home or what, my dad will still be around to guide and support me but i want to try to be more active in running my life. not just "going with the flow". i should set my priorities straight. i now know that in order for me to follow through with this plan, i should make some sacrifices and lifestyle changes. i should be able to let go of certain things and at the same time, acquire some others. it won't be easy but i keep in mind that i'm doing this for myself and ultimately, for everyone around me. hope i do well on the test... and that the acid won't sting too bad.