gateway mall
on loop: hari ng sablay ~ sugarfree
went to the new gateway mall in araneta center last night with bea. very cool place! the cinemas are incredible. i can't wait to see a movie there :) the shops are great and the mall itself is very pleasant and cozy. the crowd is also a-ok... not too thin, but not too many either. i hope that this mall won't turn out into one of those mobster malls where everyone goes to hang out and stuff. a crazy crowd would just ruin it. hehe i'm so selfish. but oh well, different strokes for different folks. it's so near my place! there's italianni's, taco bell, and even go-nuts donuts mwahahaha. very cool :) btw, thanks for the coffee, bey. plano natin ha? just kidding hehe ;p
sigh. everyone's gone out to the provinces... sunshine's in dagupan, pam's in hrrmmm, surigao, i think? or something, junelle's in dubai. i wish eveyone would come back already and let's drink (water). harhar just kidding. i'm bored again. anyway, i'll be back to work later at 4am, and it will be my first taste of the floor (which means it'll be my first time to take calls for the whole shift with no supervision). i'll be left to my own devices! oh no. i hope i'll be able to manage it. just thinking bout it makes me feel queasy but excited at the same time. i hope it'll be a good first day for me as a bonafide technical sales rep :) hehe. i can't wait! anyway, gotta work on my spiels for now so ciao, till later..
Monday, December 27, 2004
Sunday, December 26, 2004
tum-ti-tum-tum
tum-ti-tum-tum
on loop: could've been you (could've been me) ~ u-turn
nothing new today... just bumming around the house with nothing to do hehe :) hay i wanna go out and watch movies. i heard that the manila film fest entries were really good. i personally want to watch aishte mas (spell check ;p) and spirit of the glass and sigaw. hehe :) paskong pasko magho-horror ako. owell. woke up really late since stayed nearly half the night talking to a friend i haven't spoken with for about a year or more already for four hours. almost slept on him hehe (sorry! ;p). i have to go to greenhills to get some stuff and check out the sony ericccon t638i (i think?) for my sun cel # and i'm hoping my dad would take me later and i'm also hoping that i won't be too lazy to get a move-on. i would love to go shopping but too bad i don't have enough money hehe... next time (hopefully by january) :)
sigh. i'm rattling off nonsense. just bored. can't wait to get back to work! i think i'm becoming a workaholic... i can't bear being away from work for more than a day or so. i'm always itching to go back already hehe. yikes... who would've thunk. oh and by the way, my guestbook is up and running again! horray :) i've also put a site stat counter in here... a very cool looking one actually hehe. halata na bang bored ako kahapon? i finally got to work on those things and they're found on the navigation bar on the left in case you guys have nothing better to do and would want to go have a look-see :) the guestbook still needs some work but i'm just glad that it's finally working again hehe.
sigh. i want a new phone. i really really really do. my dad received a nokia 6260 for christmas from his friends. lucky duck! i want one as well... that was the model i wanted but now my dad has it, and my friend pam as well, and about three people from work. rarr, hehe :) but i looked around and found another great model! it doesn't look half as cool as the 6260 does but the features are incredible. totally power-packed and the price isn't that far from the 6260. meet the nokia 6670 - the handheld version of the nokia 9210 plus more. i really like it as well... now i can't pick what phone to get. if i wanted the 6260, i could just get my dad's (harhar *eeeeevvilll*) but i wouldn't wanna do that since it is after all, a gift for him. on the other hand, if i go buy the 6670 next month, i'd have to scrape up around 30k for it. yipes! i was actually thinking of applying for globe's deferred installment plans, where i could get the phone model of my choice and pay it off in small monthly installments. that's easier on the pocket since i could pay it off with my salary from work... no need to bug my dad bout it. hrmmm.
this?...
or maybe this... 
?
decisions... decisions... (mouse-over the images to see the model), wonder which i should get? hahaha i speak as if i've got the dinero/ moolah/ money/ cash/ resources (or whatever else you call it, doesn't change the fact that i don't have it harhar). owell... wishful thinking, it ain't so bad to dream once in a while :) it is free after all. might be gone for some time when work resumes on tuesday, so i'm putting in long posts just in case i'll have no time to blog again soon... hehe so please bear with my useless ramblings :)
on loop: could've been you (could've been me) ~ u-turn
nothing new today... just bumming around the house with nothing to do hehe :) hay i wanna go out and watch movies. i heard that the manila film fest entries were really good. i personally want to watch aishte mas (spell check ;p) and spirit of the glass and sigaw. hehe :) paskong pasko magho-horror ako. owell. woke up really late since stayed nearly half the night talking to a friend i haven't spoken with for about a year or more already for four hours. almost slept on him hehe (sorry! ;p). i have to go to greenhills to get some stuff and check out the sony ericccon t638i (i think?) for my sun cel # and i'm hoping my dad would take me later and i'm also hoping that i won't be too lazy to get a move-on. i would love to go shopping but too bad i don't have enough money hehe... next time (hopefully by january) :)
sigh. i'm rattling off nonsense. just bored. can't wait to get back to work! i think i'm becoming a workaholic... i can't bear being away from work for more than a day or so. i'm always itching to go back already hehe. yikes... who would've thunk. oh and by the way, my guestbook is up and running again! horray :) i've also put a site stat counter in here... a very cool looking one actually hehe. halata na bang bored ako kahapon? i finally got to work on those things and they're found on the navigation bar on the left in case you guys have nothing better to do and would want to go have a look-see :) the guestbook still needs some work but i'm just glad that it's finally working again hehe.
sigh. i want a new phone. i really really really do. my dad received a nokia 6260 for christmas from his friends. lucky duck! i want one as well... that was the model i wanted but now my dad has it, and my friend pam as well, and about three people from work. rarr, hehe :) but i looked around and found another great model! it doesn't look half as cool as the 6260 does but the features are incredible. totally power-packed and the price isn't that far from the 6260. meet the nokia 6670 - the handheld version of the nokia 9210 plus more. i really like it as well... now i can't pick what phone to get. if i wanted the 6260, i could just get my dad's (harhar *eeeeevvilll*) but i wouldn't wanna do that since it is after all, a gift for him. on the other hand, if i go buy the 6670 next month, i'd have to scrape up around 30k for it. yipes! i was actually thinking of applying for globe's deferred installment plans, where i could get the phone model of my choice and pay it off in small monthly installments. that's easier on the pocket since i could pay it off with my salary from work... no need to bug my dad bout it. hrmmm.
this?...
or maybe this... ?
decisions... decisions... (mouse-over the images to see the model), wonder which i should get? hahaha i speak as if i've got the dinero/ moolah/ money/ cash/ resources (or whatever else you call it, doesn't change the fact that i don't have it harhar). owell... wishful thinking, it ain't so bad to dream once in a while :) it is free after all. might be gone for some time when work resumes on tuesday, so i'm putting in long posts just in case i'll have no time to blog again soon... hehe so please bear with my useless ramblings :)
Saturday, December 25, 2004
smooth sailing
smooth sailing
on loop: can i walk with you ~ india arie
had a different kinda christmas :) twas great. i thought it would be just like any ordinary day but the presence of special people made it all better and memorable. everything's working the knots out of themselves... which is good. smooth sailing so far :) anyway, i hope we all had a meaningul and memorable christmas... and that we would all have a blessed new year ahead of us :) let us not forget the true significance of this day... so here's to You on Your very special day. CHEERS!
random thought: a silly though came into my mind... i'll get married na kaya? mwahahaha. just kidding! like i said, random (and silly) thought ;p mga ten years pa before that'll happen hehe.
*****
can i walk with you ~ india arie
I woke up this morning
You were the first thing on my mind
I don't know were it came from
All I know is I need you in my life, yeah
You make me feel like I can be a better woman
If you just say you wanna take this friendship to another place
Can I walk with you through your life
Can I lay with you as your wife
Can I be your friend 'till the end
Can I walk with you through your life
You've got me wonderin'
If you know that I am wonderin' about you
The feeling is so strong that,
I can't imagine you're not feeling it too, yeah
YOu've known me long enough to trust, that I want what's best for you.
If you wanna be happy, then I am the one that you should give your heart too.
Now every day ain't gonna be like a summer's day.
Being in love for real, it ain't like a movie screen.
But I can tell you, all the drama aside, you and I can find what the world's been looking for forever, friendship and love together.
on loop: can i walk with you ~ india arie
had a different kinda christmas :) twas great. i thought it would be just like any ordinary day but the presence of special people made it all better and memorable. everything's working the knots out of themselves... which is good. smooth sailing so far :) anyway, i hope we all had a meaningul and memorable christmas... and that we would all have a blessed new year ahead of us :) let us not forget the true significance of this day... so here's to You on Your very special day. CHEERS!
random thought: a silly though came into my mind... i'll get married na kaya? mwahahaha. just kidding! like i said, random (and silly) thought ;p mga ten years pa before that'll happen hehe.
*****
can i walk with you ~ india arie
I woke up this morning
You were the first thing on my mind
I don't know were it came from
All I know is I need you in my life, yeah
You make me feel like I can be a better woman
If you just say you wanna take this friendship to another place
Can I walk with you through your life
Can I lay with you as your wife
Can I be your friend 'till the end
Can I walk with you through your life
You've got me wonderin'
If you know that I am wonderin' about you
The feeling is so strong that,
I can't imagine you're not feeling it too, yeah
YOu've known me long enough to trust, that I want what's best for you.
If you wanna be happy, then I am the one that you should give your heart too.
Now every day ain't gonna be like a summer's day.
Being in love for real, it ain't like a movie screen.
But I can tell you, all the drama aside, you and I can find what the world's been looking for forever, friendship and love together.
Friday, December 24, 2004
confetti
confetti
on loop: mundian tu bach ke ~ punjabi mc
to start off, i would like to greet everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!. i hope that we all will experience a meaningful and significant holiday season as well as a blessed and refreshing new year :) this year has brought each and every one so much strife and dilemma, but in the end, it is the love, joys and peace that stand out. we must thank the Lord for all of His blessings and guidance by way of His merciful heart. i'm just so thankful right now for everything, despite everything :)
*****
work was especially draining today because it is our last day of academic and product training. by next week, we would be hitting the floors full time already... which means that we were already given our team assignments. it's so heart-breaking to know that we were being broken up into different teams with different shift scheds. my closest friends there were also all dissipated into various teams. so sad to know that we won't be seeing each other that frequently anymore. i loved working with them for these past four weeks that seemed like ten years already. i got into team moe... of which i am very thankful for, because i had been hoping to get into his team. moe is the greatest supervisor ever... and the coolest as well. there's even an atenean in my team, but he's already in fourth year, with yet to work on his thesis. small world :) my shift sched is still the same, 4am to 1pm... sucky timeframe but the team makes up for it all. my off-days would most probably be from 1pm of saturdays till 4am of tuesdays. not bad hehe :) i'm nervous and excited at the same time and i sincerely hope that i do well on my job. and though it saddens me to be working apart from my friends there, i'm sure that everything would work out just fine.
*****
we had a christmas buffet in astoria this morning. we were all together: the entire class of 33 and our 7 trainers. it was both happy and sad. happy since shempre kainan nanaman hehe, but at the same time slightly bittersweet since it would virtually be our last time together in a long time. no more eating together, or yosi breaks together, or chika sessions. sigh. we were all trying to stay as long as we could, in the hopes of cramming enough time together till the next time that we would be able to do so again. it was with a heavy heart that we tried to appear as jolly as we could, but we'll work it out. coz we believe that one doesn't just give up on great people just like that ;)
*****
on a latter note, i've been feeling a bit sentimental these last few days. i think it's because i got it this morning or maybe it's the holiday spirit or something. i suddenly realized that i value my friends very much, and of course, my dad. i'm just so thankful to have such great and wonderful friends who's been with me through hell and high water, and an incredible dad that leaves nothing to be asked for. every one i've met all throughout these years: in college and in work, they've all been true and endearing to me. the personalities that have made my life colorful, who've shared experiences with me even as i trod through the storms in our lives and as i float in the goodness of it as well. the great people in my life... i really am so blessed to have them. i hope there never comes a time that i would take them for granted and lose them just like that. coz i'd know that it would be the biggest mistake i'll be making in this lifetime. they are the people i would never forget... not just as fleeting personalities in my life, but as the life itself in my life. thank God for them, sure made life a whole lot interesting :)
once again, happy holidays, everyone! and enjoy the vacation...
on loop: mundian tu bach ke ~ punjabi mc
to start off, i would like to greet everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!. i hope that we all will experience a meaningful and significant holiday season as well as a blessed and refreshing new year :) this year has brought each and every one so much strife and dilemma, but in the end, it is the love, joys and peace that stand out. we must thank the Lord for all of His blessings and guidance by way of His merciful heart. i'm just so thankful right now for everything, despite everything :)
*****
work was especially draining today because it is our last day of academic and product training. by next week, we would be hitting the floors full time already... which means that we were already given our team assignments. it's so heart-breaking to know that we were being broken up into different teams with different shift scheds. my closest friends there were also all dissipated into various teams. so sad to know that we won't be seeing each other that frequently anymore. i loved working with them for these past four weeks that seemed like ten years already. i got into team moe... of which i am very thankful for, because i had been hoping to get into his team. moe is the greatest supervisor ever... and the coolest as well. there's even an atenean in my team, but he's already in fourth year, with yet to work on his thesis. small world :) my shift sched is still the same, 4am to 1pm... sucky timeframe but the team makes up for it all. my off-days would most probably be from 1pm of saturdays till 4am of tuesdays. not bad hehe :) i'm nervous and excited at the same time and i sincerely hope that i do well on my job. and though it saddens me to be working apart from my friends there, i'm sure that everything would work out just fine.
*****
we had a christmas buffet in astoria this morning. we were all together: the entire class of 33 and our 7 trainers. it was both happy and sad. happy since shempre kainan nanaman hehe, but at the same time slightly bittersweet since it would virtually be our last time together in a long time. no more eating together, or yosi breaks together, or chika sessions. sigh. we were all trying to stay as long as we could, in the hopes of cramming enough time together till the next time that we would be able to do so again. it was with a heavy heart that we tried to appear as jolly as we could, but we'll work it out. coz we believe that one doesn't just give up on great people just like that ;)
*****
on a latter note, i've been feeling a bit sentimental these last few days. i think it's because i got it this morning or maybe it's the holiday spirit or something. i suddenly realized that i value my friends very much, and of course, my dad. i'm just so thankful to have such great and wonderful friends who's been with me through hell and high water, and an incredible dad that leaves nothing to be asked for. every one i've met all throughout these years: in college and in work, they've all been true and endearing to me. the personalities that have made my life colorful, who've shared experiences with me even as i trod through the storms in our lives and as i float in the goodness of it as well. the great people in my life... i really am so blessed to have them. i hope there never comes a time that i would take them for granted and lose them just like that. coz i'd know that it would be the biggest mistake i'll be making in this lifetime. they are the people i would never forget... not just as fleeting personalities in my life, but as the life itself in my life. thank God for them, sure made life a whole lot interesting :)
once again, happy holidays, everyone! and enjoy the vacation...
Thursday, December 23, 2004
sewerage systems
sewerage systems
on loop: through with you ~ maroon 5
i am just so drained and exhausted for these past few weeks. everything's gone by in one giant blur. it's as if i blinked and before i knew it, i'm here. but it's all good... life's great and i'm loving everything about it, even the things that aren't so great for me. there are aspects that i could damn to hell forever but hating's a thing of the past. live and let go. hard but smart. keep on rockin' as they say. and while you're at it, roll as well.
****
learned a new word from work: happy trash. mwahehehe... i could think of some trashy people and some trashy things and stuff and oddly enough, it makes me happy in a twisted and perverse sorta way. weird.
****
i will. i will. i will. i will.
i will be able to do it. i will be able to do what i have to have... and i will be able to have what i want. i will. i will. i will. will work work work for 'em. i'll get by :)
****
this season's real sad for me... first of all, i'm broke as heck. i don't even have a flat penny to my name. i haven't even had my money and it's not mine anymore. harhar the harsh realities of life. plus work's really bearing down on me and the people are getting on my nerves though things are still bearable hehe. but it's ok. everything's getting by just fine... there are shit storms and a shortage of paddles.. but everyone will get through :)
****
i'm really into cost-cutting right now. i will probably have to be in scrooge-mode till around january or maybe even february if i wanna be able to pay off my debts and get the new phones i want. mwahehehe. i want the new 7260 from nokia! harharhar... or the new sony ericsson. hehehe. sigh. dreams. and so i'm wishing everyone a very happy and blessed holidays Ü hope we all have a meaningful and significant Christmas. let's all look forward to bigger and better new year ahead of us as well. keep safe everyone! :) ciao for now.
on loop: through with you ~ maroon 5
i am just so drained and exhausted for these past few weeks. everything's gone by in one giant blur. it's as if i blinked and before i knew it, i'm here. but it's all good... life's great and i'm loving everything about it, even the things that aren't so great for me. there are aspects that i could damn to hell forever but hating's a thing of the past. live and let go. hard but smart. keep on rockin' as they say. and while you're at it, roll as well.
****
learned a new word from work: happy trash. mwahehehe... i could think of some trashy people and some trashy things and stuff and oddly enough, it makes me happy in a twisted and perverse sorta way. weird.
****
i will. i will. i will. i will.
i will be able to do it. i will be able to do what i have to have... and i will be able to have what i want. i will. i will. i will. will work work work for 'em. i'll get by :)
****
this season's real sad for me... first of all, i'm broke as heck. i don't even have a flat penny to my name. i haven't even had my money and it's not mine anymore. harhar the harsh realities of life. plus work's really bearing down on me and the people are getting on my nerves though things are still bearable hehe. but it's ok. everything's getting by just fine... there are shit storms and a shortage of paddles.. but everyone will get through :)
****
i'm really into cost-cutting right now. i will probably have to be in scrooge-mode till around january or maybe even february if i wanna be able to pay off my debts and get the new phones i want. mwahehehe. i want the new 7260 from nokia! harharhar... or the new sony ericsson. hehehe. sigh. dreams. and so i'm wishing everyone a very happy and blessed holidays Ü hope we all have a meaningful and significant Christmas. let's all look forward to bigger and better new year ahead of us as well. keep safe everyone! :) ciao for now.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
bad trip
bad trip
on loop: my thoughts
fart. i had the suckiest night... i just got home and everything, and i mean everything, just went wrong today. as in big time wrong. it's the kind of night that'll haunt you till you get old and die or something like that. i won't elaborate anymore on the details since some other people are involved with the events but one of the things that really sucked about this night was that during our company christmas party in rockwell, everything was just baaaddd shit. the day started out allright, things were cool and cozy but as the night wore on, everything just flopped. big time belly flop. anyway, during the party, they were calling out ticket stubs to receive prizes like appliances, laptops, entertainment systems and the like. they were gonna give out dvd players and when i heard about that, i really wanted to be the one to get it... i had this feeling that there was a chance i could be picked. but i shrugged it off.
my colleagues wanted to leave already after a bit coz we were supposed to go to pier one in ortigas to drink and stuff, but then something happened between me and this other person so nawalan ako ng gana and just wanted to stay with this friend from the company who was also from ateneo but things got ugly blah blah blah so to avoid any more issues, i just went with them. around half an hour after we left, that friend called me and said my name was called! i was supposed to get a N6600!!!!! punyeta to the nth power talaga. that is just like adding salt to the wound. its insult to the injury. panget na nga ng araw, ganon pa. i really really really really freaking wanted a new phone, that model as a matter of fact. and now that i was gonna get it for FREE, it slips. punyemas. sobrang nabad trip ako, ang tindi. i was snapping at everyone. sobrang nanghihinayang lang ako... and i really hate the feeling. regret and loss is something i totally suck in dealing with. i can deal with anger, depression, sadness, happiness, name it, all except those two. coz there really is nothing you can do about it.
potek talaga. i practically just threw 20 grand away. damnnnnn. tagos sa buto yung pagsisisi ko. im not being materialistic here... its just that the situations and events that culminated to that one was really pushing me over the edge already and actually, were the reasons why i missed the phone. tapos may mokong na hirit pa ng hirit buong gabi sakin, sarap na upakan. i really hate getting into fights, especially if it's for no reason and if wala talaga sa lugar yung tao sabay namamaliktad pa. leche.i felt so bad, i ended up drinking 3 shots of cuervo and beer. had to take my mind off the things but just being with those people was not helping.
buti na lang, i met up with bea, pam and tony. they made me feel so much better. thanks so much guys for putting up with me even if i was so bitchy and i made you wait pa. lifesavers. i still feel rotten and i hope this fades away fast coz it's really putting me in a sour mood, i just hope i'd be able to find a way to just forget things and act like this stupid night never happened. i've never hated a night as much as i do this one. everything was just plain downright wrong. i'm really sorry if this is such a negative post, i just had to let it out coz i'm really pissed. i wish i just stayed home like i wanted to, and slept or something. much safer. i'm not saying i hate the people i'm working with na now, all i'm saying is that what happened made me lose amour for my job and for my colleagues, especially one of my closer friends there. idiot. i could keep ranting here but in the end, i'm the one who's the dunce in this whole picture. i hate being the imbecile... it sucks big time.
on loop: my thoughts
fart. i had the suckiest night... i just got home and everything, and i mean everything, just went wrong today. as in big time wrong. it's the kind of night that'll haunt you till you get old and die or something like that. i won't elaborate anymore on the details since some other people are involved with the events but one of the things that really sucked about this night was that during our company christmas party in rockwell, everything was just baaaddd shit. the day started out allright, things were cool and cozy but as the night wore on, everything just flopped. big time belly flop. anyway, during the party, they were calling out ticket stubs to receive prizes like appliances, laptops, entertainment systems and the like. they were gonna give out dvd players and when i heard about that, i really wanted to be the one to get it... i had this feeling that there was a chance i could be picked. but i shrugged it off.
my colleagues wanted to leave already after a bit coz we were supposed to go to pier one in ortigas to drink and stuff, but then something happened between me and this other person so nawalan ako ng gana and just wanted to stay with this friend from the company who was also from ateneo but things got ugly blah blah blah so to avoid any more issues, i just went with them. around half an hour after we left, that friend called me and said my name was called! i was supposed to get a N6600!!!!! punyeta to the nth power talaga. that is just like adding salt to the wound. its insult to the injury. panget na nga ng araw, ganon pa. i really really really really freaking wanted a new phone, that model as a matter of fact. and now that i was gonna get it for FREE, it slips. punyemas. sobrang nabad trip ako, ang tindi. i was snapping at everyone. sobrang nanghihinayang lang ako... and i really hate the feeling. regret and loss is something i totally suck in dealing with. i can deal with anger, depression, sadness, happiness, name it, all except those two. coz there really is nothing you can do about it.
potek talaga. i practically just threw 20 grand away. damnnnnn. tagos sa buto yung pagsisisi ko. im not being materialistic here... its just that the situations and events that culminated to that one was really pushing me over the edge already and actually, were the reasons why i missed the phone. tapos may mokong na hirit pa ng hirit buong gabi sakin, sarap na upakan. i really hate getting into fights, especially if it's for no reason and if wala talaga sa lugar yung tao sabay namamaliktad pa. leche.i felt so bad, i ended up drinking 3 shots of cuervo and beer. had to take my mind off the things but just being with those people was not helping.
buti na lang, i met up with bea, pam and tony. they made me feel so much better. thanks so much guys for putting up with me even if i was so bitchy and i made you wait pa. lifesavers. i still feel rotten and i hope this fades away fast coz it's really putting me in a sour mood, i just hope i'd be able to find a way to just forget things and act like this stupid night never happened. i've never hated a night as much as i do this one. everything was just plain downright wrong. i'm really sorry if this is such a negative post, i just had to let it out coz i'm really pissed. i wish i just stayed home like i wanted to, and slept or something. much safer. i'm not saying i hate the people i'm working with na now, all i'm saying is that what happened made me lose amour for my job and for my colleagues, especially one of my closer friends there. idiot. i could keep ranting here but in the end, i'm the one who's the dunce in this whole picture. i hate being the imbecile... it sucks big time.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
ngeks...
ngeks...
on loop: wag na wag ~ kitchie nadal
hrmmm... nothing new today. just bumming around at home, catching up on sleep and the going-ons on tv. actually, the reason i blogged again this morning is 'coz i wanted to delete my previous post but then decided against it. i thought it seemed so nonsensical but it's allright, i guess. posted it kasi right after i got home from congo grille and i was still drunk... so, it's the alchohol talking harhar. please bear with me... este, it pala. i wanna watch a movie tonight! but i have no money and no one to watch it with me hehe. owell. maybe next time :)
******
SHOUT-OUTS:
mari's back! hey mari, let's just plan something after your sister's wedding since bea's play will be ending around that time as well. plus, Christmas break falls around that time as well, so by then everyone will be free :) and of course, the Christmas dinner hehe. and to bea, hope your first night went well! congratulations... i'm sure you did great and will continue to do so. hehe dapat sa 19 magaling na magaling na ha ;p jk. shine, hope your trip did you good and cleared your mind. sana you are now more sure of yourself in order for you to make sound decisions based on concrete reasons hehe. ingat ;p see you when you get back.
on loop: wag na wag ~ kitchie nadal
hrmmm... nothing new today. just bumming around at home, catching up on sleep and the going-ons on tv. actually, the reason i blogged again this morning is 'coz i wanted to delete my previous post but then decided against it. i thought it seemed so nonsensical but it's allright, i guess. posted it kasi right after i got home from congo grille and i was still drunk... so, it's the alchohol talking harhar. please bear with me... este, it pala. i wanna watch a movie tonight! but i have no money and no one to watch it with me hehe. owell. maybe next time :)
******
SHOUT-OUTS:
mari's back! hey mari, let's just plan something after your sister's wedding since bea's play will be ending around that time as well. plus, Christmas break falls around that time as well, so by then everyone will be free :) and of course, the Christmas dinner hehe. and to bea, hope your first night went well! congratulations... i'm sure you did great and will continue to do so. hehe dapat sa 19 magaling na magaling na ha ;p jk. shine, hope your trip did you good and cleared your mind. sana you are now more sure of yourself in order for you to make sound decisions based on concrete reasons hehe. ingat ;p see you when you get back.
Friday, December 10, 2004
tama na yan...
tama na yan...
on loop: emotion ~ destiny's child
... inuman na! haha. handled my three first ever calls at work today. damn it was hard... i got rattled so much since there were so many things to do on the PC and so many things to say to the customer. it's really tough to understand pure american accents, and they easily get pissed if you keep asking them to repeat what they've said. but it's all good. i loved it! i totally enjoyed it. i'm looking forward to taking in more calls. the rep who was assigned to be my mentor is so cute pa harharhar. he came with us to breakfast after and he asked mfor my number! nyahahaha. lalang. cutie :) but he's really nice and really, really, REALLY helped me a lot. if he wasn't there, i would blacked out hehe. starting next week, we'll be taking in calls everyday for about 2 hours just to help us get a feel of the floor. i'm looking forward to that ;p
******
after our shift ended at 1pm kanina, we headed to congo grille in el pueblo for lunch and a few drinks. we were 12 in the group, including our 3 supervisors and a trainer. they're so cool. but they left early, only one guy stayed and super astig nya. he doesn't seem like a boss outside of the office... basta he's super fun. we ended up staying till a little past 6! we had about 6 rounds of beer and 2 rounds of hard drinks. exagg. your timeframe really goes berserk with this job. parang night gimick na yun samin eh hehe. got a bit drunk... tsk tsk. but i didn't mind drinking since one of the guys said the drinks are on him. shemay big spender... ang bait. including pulutan pa yun ha! hehe i'm in good company.. joke :D when the others were getting drunk na talaga (they had about 15 rounds of beer), they were getting so rowdy! jahe sa ibang tao hehe but ity's all good. fun pa rin :) one of the gay guys in our group started a spin the bottle game... and my ex-crush was dared to kiss me! exagg. wanted to leave na nga eh. but that's so kj naman... so yun. harhar. score! just kidding :D it was nothing like that. but it was one of the best inuman sessions i've ever had. happy happy.
*****
during a part of our training kanina, i was slightly dozing off and my supervisor noticed. he's the same guy who hung out with us after. next thing i knew, there was already a certain something in my shoulder... when i turned to look at it putangna it was an ipis!!! pucha talaga... it was as big as an empanada, no kidding. my supervisor placed it there to supposedly "wake me up"! leche i cried tuloy. hahaha dyahe. it was a madagascar cockroah according to them, and it was a pet of one of the american trainers there. punyemas, yun ang wake up call! i felt like i was gonna pass out na nga eh. hay nako. but he was sorry about it since he didn't realize i was DEAD scared of cockroaches... much more humungous ones like that. damn. he trested me my lunch in congo grille since he felt so bad that he made me so scared harhar.
next friday, they already planned a party in one of the guys' house in novaliches. all out na daw, medyo conservative pa kanina eh since public place daw hahaha. saya yun :D the guy who owns the house is gonna foot the food and all we have to do is provide the drinks. jake (the supervisor who placed an ipis on my shoulder) is coming as well. the other bosses aren't sure just yet, since they had already left when the plans were being made. ayos yun... wala nanamang gastos hehe.
tomorrow they'll be going to cloud nine in antipolo and though i really want to go, i opted not to since i would want to rest and spend time with my friends if ever they're free hehe. plus mari (one of our friends who migrated to australia) is back for the holidays! yay!!! hopefully, we'll get to hang out tom :) anyway, it's been a great day and it got me thinking... if i didn't get out of school, i wouldn't be making such great friends and having such a blast. silver linings nga naman... that's why my new philosophy in life is that, no matter how bad and hopeless things seem at times, i am absoutely sure it will be for the better. it's not made to break you... but to make you :) cheers! hehe. have a great weekend everyone!
on loop: emotion ~ destiny's child
... inuman na! haha. handled my three first ever calls at work today. damn it was hard... i got rattled so much since there were so many things to do on the PC and so many things to say to the customer. it's really tough to understand pure american accents, and they easily get pissed if you keep asking them to repeat what they've said. but it's all good. i loved it! i totally enjoyed it. i'm looking forward to taking in more calls. the rep who was assigned to be my mentor is so cute pa harharhar. he came with us to breakfast after and he asked mfor my number! nyahahaha. lalang. cutie :) but he's really nice and really, really, REALLY helped me a lot. if he wasn't there, i would blacked out hehe. starting next week, we'll be taking in calls everyday for about 2 hours just to help us get a feel of the floor. i'm looking forward to that ;p
******
after our shift ended at 1pm kanina, we headed to congo grille in el pueblo for lunch and a few drinks. we were 12 in the group, including our 3 supervisors and a trainer. they're so cool. but they left early, only one guy stayed and super astig nya. he doesn't seem like a boss outside of the office... basta he's super fun. we ended up staying till a little past 6! we had about 6 rounds of beer and 2 rounds of hard drinks. exagg. your timeframe really goes berserk with this job. parang night gimick na yun samin eh hehe. got a bit drunk... tsk tsk. but i didn't mind drinking since one of the guys said the drinks are on him. shemay big spender... ang bait. including pulutan pa yun ha! hehe i'm in good company.. joke :D when the others were getting drunk na talaga (they had about 15 rounds of beer), they were getting so rowdy! jahe sa ibang tao hehe but ity's all good. fun pa rin :) one of the gay guys in our group started a spin the bottle game... and my ex-crush was dared to kiss me! exagg. wanted to leave na nga eh. but that's so kj naman... so yun. harhar. score! just kidding :D it was nothing like that. but it was one of the best inuman sessions i've ever had. happy happy.
*****
during a part of our training kanina, i was slightly dozing off and my supervisor noticed. he's the same guy who hung out with us after. next thing i knew, there was already a certain something in my shoulder... when i turned to look at it putangna it was an ipis!!! pucha talaga... it was as big as an empanada, no kidding. my supervisor placed it there to supposedly "wake me up"! leche i cried tuloy. hahaha dyahe. it was a madagascar cockroah according to them, and it was a pet of one of the american trainers there. punyemas, yun ang wake up call! i felt like i was gonna pass out na nga eh. hay nako. but he was sorry about it since he didn't realize i was DEAD scared of cockroaches... much more humungous ones like that. damn. he trested me my lunch in congo grille since he felt so bad that he made me so scared harhar.
next friday, they already planned a party in one of the guys' house in novaliches. all out na daw, medyo conservative pa kanina eh since public place daw hahaha. saya yun :D the guy who owns the house is gonna foot the food and all we have to do is provide the drinks. jake (the supervisor who placed an ipis on my shoulder) is coming as well. the other bosses aren't sure just yet, since they had already left when the plans were being made. ayos yun... wala nanamang gastos hehe.
tomorrow they'll be going to cloud nine in antipolo and though i really want to go, i opted not to since i would want to rest and spend time with my friends if ever they're free hehe. plus mari (one of our friends who migrated to australia) is back for the holidays! yay!!! hopefully, we'll get to hang out tom :) anyway, it's been a great day and it got me thinking... if i didn't get out of school, i wouldn't be making such great friends and having such a blast. silver linings nga naman... that's why my new philosophy in life is that, no matter how bad and hopeless things seem at times, i am absoutely sure it will be for the better. it's not made to break you... but to make you :) cheers! hehe. have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
hallerrr..
hallerrr...
on loop: if the feeling is gone ~ kyla
wow. life is so fast paced nowadays. everything's like a whirlwind of activity for me. i hardly have time to recover from incident then the next one comes rolling in already. but it's all good... bring it on kumbaga. update on my supposed ultimate labs op my life. i was wrong pala. either the moment passed already, or it just faded, or i was just too carried away by the hype and all, or maybe i was successful in suppressing whatever it is i felt before. what's important is that it is all gone now... kaput. even if you ask me if i do still like him even for just an eensy-teensy bit, i could say with full conviction and honesty, that i don't. and it feels even better than when i did like him. harhar. last night, i got to talk to lisa and she shared some really wise words with me... she said that a probable reason as to why i met a guy that fit perfectly in to my definition of "the one" was for me to realize that that sort of guy is actually not what i would want after all. i mean, if i never met the epitome of everything i consider spectacular in a guy, then i would been left wondering how my life would be if i had. i mean, i'd probably end up saying that if i only found my dream guy, life would be a bed of roses or something. now i know that it is not. there is always a lesson to be learned in every experience.
*****
was with shine and bea in the GH night market earlier this night. and while we were walking around, my cellphone rang. it was an unknown number... the same number whose calls i missed earlier during the day. when i picked up, it was someone from convergys (another call center, a really good one actually), and the guy informed me that they had somehow obtained a copy of my resume and status reports from teleperformance and that they would want to recruit me to be part of their company. in short, pirate me even if i'm already committed to teleperformance. that piqued my interest of course, and he then went on to ask me if i were willing to have him conduct an interview over the phone. and so i had my first interview over the phone amidst the chaos in the night market. hahaha comedy. i was in the middle of salesladies screaming "ma'am bili na kayo! may size mura lang!", trying to sound convincing and confident in a malupet english accent. hahaha labo. i totally bombed the attempt but fortunately, anthony (the dude's name) was quite satisfied with my answers etc. he then scheduled me for an exam on friday hahaha.
i agreed because i just wanted to see for myself if i would be able to make it past the rigorous screening of convergys (from what i've heard) and for the fact that my friends are planning to get into that company as well. well well well. they offered a higher price pa naman! hahaha temptation... i admit i had second thoughts but teleperformance is already endeared to me, so there. we'll see hehe... maybe if they offer a higher price. joke! anyway, need some rest... had a rough time fixing my nbi clearance with shine and karl kanina. looking forward to work later! hehe i love my job hehe. and i had a great time being able to hang out with my friends earlier tonight... and it didn't matter that i was dead tired already and that i needed all the sleep i could have gotten instead of going out with them (and actually, blogging here and chatting hehe). it's all good :)
on loop: if the feeling is gone ~ kyla
wow. life is so fast paced nowadays. everything's like a whirlwind of activity for me. i hardly have time to recover from incident then the next one comes rolling in already. but it's all good... bring it on kumbaga. update on my supposed ultimate labs op my life. i was wrong pala. either the moment passed already, or it just faded, or i was just too carried away by the hype and all, or maybe i was successful in suppressing whatever it is i felt before. what's important is that it is all gone now... kaput. even if you ask me if i do still like him even for just an eensy-teensy bit, i could say with full conviction and honesty, that i don't. and it feels even better than when i did like him. harhar. last night, i got to talk to lisa and she shared some really wise words with me... she said that a probable reason as to why i met a guy that fit perfectly in to my definition of "the one" was for me to realize that that sort of guy is actually not what i would want after all. i mean, if i never met the epitome of everything i consider spectacular in a guy, then i would been left wondering how my life would be if i had. i mean, i'd probably end up saying that if i only found my dream guy, life would be a bed of roses or something. now i know that it is not. there is always a lesson to be learned in every experience.
*****
was with shine and bea in the GH night market earlier this night. and while we were walking around, my cellphone rang. it was an unknown number... the same number whose calls i missed earlier during the day. when i picked up, it was someone from convergys (another call center, a really good one actually), and the guy informed me that they had somehow obtained a copy of my resume and status reports from teleperformance and that they would want to recruit me to be part of their company. in short, pirate me even if i'm already committed to teleperformance. that piqued my interest of course, and he then went on to ask me if i were willing to have him conduct an interview over the phone. and so i had my first interview over the phone amidst the chaos in the night market. hahaha comedy. i was in the middle of salesladies screaming "ma'am bili na kayo! may size mura lang!", trying to sound convincing and confident in a malupet english accent. hahaha labo. i totally bombed the attempt but fortunately, anthony (the dude's name) was quite satisfied with my answers etc. he then scheduled me for an exam on friday hahaha.
i agreed because i just wanted to see for myself if i would be able to make it past the rigorous screening of convergys (from what i've heard) and for the fact that my friends are planning to get into that company as well. well well well. they offered a higher price pa naman! hahaha temptation... i admit i had second thoughts but teleperformance is already endeared to me, so there. we'll see hehe... maybe if they offer a higher price. joke! anyway, need some rest... had a rough time fixing my nbi clearance with shine and karl kanina. looking forward to work later! hehe i love my job hehe. and i had a great time being able to hang out with my friends earlier tonight... and it didn't matter that i was dead tired already and that i needed all the sleep i could have gotten instead of going out with them (and actually, blogging here and chatting hehe). it's all good :)
Monday, December 06, 2004
nick of time
nick of time
on loop: steep ~ lauren christy
thank god i caught myself in the nick of time. it's like teetering on the edge of the cliff only to have you pulled back to safety. i already saw the crashing waves of the ocean below and sharp edges of the rocks. haha good thing i didn't fall. just slipped and almost did. good thing i saved myself. his girl finally made it official between them just last night. and this is the most suprprising thing, she finally got together with him because of me. i won't elaborate on the reasons anymore but it will suffice to say that i brought them together. and if this had happened yesterday or the few days before that, i would have fallen to pieces and died. but i have integrated into myself the reality of the situation.. and i genuinely feel happy for him. no more heartaches whenever i hear of the girl. i can actually relate to him better as a friend. i can feel for him... his kiligs, his frustrations, his doubts. it's as if my mind has cleared and i can think and feel better. i want to congratulate myself for being mature and level-headed about this hehehe.
it totally hurts me to see the few girls whom this guy totally hit hard. they have been reduced into sad shadows of their former happy and inspired selves. they have begun avoiding him and dropping their good rapport with him, simply because they cannot deal with the fact that he is now taken. they had hopes, i know. i did, too. only i got over it before things got out of hand. it feels as if a big load had been taken off my shoulders... and it shows. everyone and i mean everyone told me i looked different today. like refreshed and... (harhar eto na yung malupet) blooming. as if i were in love daw. hahaha. what a load of crock. i was actually just relieved... and i did feel better. and i realized na there are many other guys pala around me. hehe i was too focused on this guy that i turned a completely blind eye on the others who were also around me pala all this time. when a door closes, windows open ;p
i was actually with him the entire day (and night) today. we went to ateneo together... he wanted me to meet his girl personally. coz they said they owe their relationship to me or something, so i went. i also got to hang with lisa a bit and i enjoyed it! i missed her so much pala. she also got to meet this dude and they got along well. his girl was really nice and though simple, she was pretty in her own way. and tall... simple beauty :) they're so happy and i'm happy as well that i don't feel any adverse reactions to what's happening. if i still crushed on him, i wouldn't have been able to pull through this day. hahaha. i go, girl. thank you, Lord, you have saved me again :) life is beautiful... and in some ways, everyone also is. harhar. it's just a matter of knowing that for oneself.
on loop: steep ~ lauren christy
thank god i caught myself in the nick of time. it's like teetering on the edge of the cliff only to have you pulled back to safety. i already saw the crashing waves of the ocean below and sharp edges of the rocks. haha good thing i didn't fall. just slipped and almost did. good thing i saved myself. his girl finally made it official between them just last night. and this is the most suprprising thing, she finally got together with him because of me. i won't elaborate on the reasons anymore but it will suffice to say that i brought them together. and if this had happened yesterday or the few days before that, i would have fallen to pieces and died. but i have integrated into myself the reality of the situation.. and i genuinely feel happy for him. no more heartaches whenever i hear of the girl. i can actually relate to him better as a friend. i can feel for him... his kiligs, his frustrations, his doubts. it's as if my mind has cleared and i can think and feel better. i want to congratulate myself for being mature and level-headed about this hehehe.
it totally hurts me to see the few girls whom this guy totally hit hard. they have been reduced into sad shadows of their former happy and inspired selves. they have begun avoiding him and dropping their good rapport with him, simply because they cannot deal with the fact that he is now taken. they had hopes, i know. i did, too. only i got over it before things got out of hand. it feels as if a big load had been taken off my shoulders... and it shows. everyone and i mean everyone told me i looked different today. like refreshed and... (harhar eto na yung malupet) blooming. as if i were in love daw. hahaha. what a load of crock. i was actually just relieved... and i did feel better. and i realized na there are many other guys pala around me. hehe i was too focused on this guy that i turned a completely blind eye on the others who were also around me pala all this time. when a door closes, windows open ;p
i was actually with him the entire day (and night) today. we went to ateneo together... he wanted me to meet his girl personally. coz they said they owe their relationship to me or something, so i went. i also got to hang with lisa a bit and i enjoyed it! i missed her so much pala. she also got to meet this dude and they got along well. his girl was really nice and though simple, she was pretty in her own way. and tall... simple beauty :) they're so happy and i'm happy as well that i don't feel any adverse reactions to what's happening. if i still crushed on him, i wouldn't have been able to pull through this day. hahaha. i go, girl. thank you, Lord, you have saved me again :) life is beautiful... and in some ways, everyone also is. harhar. it's just a matter of knowing that for oneself.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
bridge over troubled water
bridge over troubled water
on loop: falling ~ keahiwai
now that i think about it, i think i feel in love not with "him", but with the "things" that make the "him" up. and i think i loved the "idea" of being with him, not really the "relationship". those are too shallow. but i know that if given the chance, i would love him for real. but the important thing is the NOW. and it's too soon (and stupid) to be talking about love and shit like that right now. sure, what i felt may have been something akin to love but not the real thing. that, i am sure. but it's real and deep enough to hurt me as much as it did. and to give me doubts and regrets and wants that nothing else could have. but i'll get over it. i realized the other day that i myself am the one who is hurting myself (and i try to not make too much of a fuss about it... coz i don't want to be melodramatic and stuff... wouldn't wanna look back and think myself idiotic and silly :s).
he has no idea about how i feel for him, and if i'm hurting, it's because i want too much from him. more than what should really be. in short, my frame of mind is playing tricks with me. so the best remedy to this is, stop thinking of the person as something he's not. though it just totally breaks you up inside to see the person you would never have thought to exist just drift away. at least i have the next best thing, his friendship... genuine and real. it may not be what i wanted, but it's something very valuable. i shouldn't mess it up. darn. life nga naman... and all it's lessons.
*****
bea and i watched Bcoz of U last night. nyahahaha. i enjoyed the film. it was actually funny and ligh-hearted (an d quite kilig na rin as well). i liked hero and sandara's story the best hehehehe. very cute. had fun bey! thanks Ü
*****
last friday night, andrea, shine, bea, and i went out at around 830 i think. we had coffee in ortigas then ate a TON of oysters in oyster boy greenhills hehehe. fun Ü though i must say that i wouldn't really appreciate seeing another oyster for the next few weeks or so ;p
prior to that, shine went with me and my friends from work to megamall. we ate out at the foodcourt. then we went drinking in dencio's. had tequila... sarap! hehe. best tequila shot i've had ever. i'm so happy with my job. and i don't have any regrets that i chose teleperformance. thank God. and i'm doing good so far, according to our trainer. hehe nothing like a little bit of appreciation for your hard work. the following weeks are going to be tougher for all of us, and i hope i get by just fine. enough distractions. i don't need it. love will come when it should... i shouldn't press it.
lately, there seems to be too much issues about love going around with almost everyone i know. what's up with that? my friend said it's probably the cold weather talking hehe. the only thing i can say is that... it's always hard to fall into mud baths. and the toughest part is always when more than half your body is submerged in it. but when you get enough leeway to hoist yourself out, things'll get better. sure, you may come out all muddy and stinky, but you can always wash that off and clean up. but you don't only leave with muddy clothes, but also with the lesson to never fall into that hole again and the lesson of how to get yourself out.
on loop: falling ~ keahiwai
now that i think about it, i think i feel in love not with "him", but with the "things" that make the "him" up. and i think i loved the "idea" of being with him, not really the "relationship". those are too shallow. but i know that if given the chance, i would love him for real. but the important thing is the NOW. and it's too soon (and stupid) to be talking about love and shit like that right now. sure, what i felt may have been something akin to love but not the real thing. that, i am sure. but it's real and deep enough to hurt me as much as it did. and to give me doubts and regrets and wants that nothing else could have. but i'll get over it. i realized the other day that i myself am the one who is hurting myself (and i try to not make too much of a fuss about it... coz i don't want to be melodramatic and stuff... wouldn't wanna look back and think myself idiotic and silly :s).
he has no idea about how i feel for him, and if i'm hurting, it's because i want too much from him. more than what should really be. in short, my frame of mind is playing tricks with me. so the best remedy to this is, stop thinking of the person as something he's not. though it just totally breaks you up inside to see the person you would never have thought to exist just drift away. at least i have the next best thing, his friendship... genuine and real. it may not be what i wanted, but it's something very valuable. i shouldn't mess it up. darn. life nga naman... and all it's lessons.
*****
bea and i watched Bcoz of U last night. nyahahaha. i enjoyed the film. it was actually funny and ligh-hearted (an d quite kilig na rin as well). i liked hero and sandara's story the best hehehehe. very cute. had fun bey! thanks Ü
*****
last friday night, andrea, shine, bea, and i went out at around 830 i think. we had coffee in ortigas then ate a TON of oysters in oyster boy greenhills hehehe. fun Ü though i must say that i wouldn't really appreciate seeing another oyster for the next few weeks or so ;p
prior to that, shine went with me and my friends from work to megamall. we ate out at the foodcourt. then we went drinking in dencio's. had tequila... sarap! hehe. best tequila shot i've had ever. i'm so happy with my job. and i don't have any regrets that i chose teleperformance. thank God. and i'm doing good so far, according to our trainer. hehe nothing like a little bit of appreciation for your hard work. the following weeks are going to be tougher for all of us, and i hope i get by just fine. enough distractions. i don't need it. love will come when it should... i shouldn't press it.
lately, there seems to be too much issues about love going around with almost everyone i know. what's up with that? my friend said it's probably the cold weather talking hehe. the only thing i can say is that... it's always hard to fall into mud baths. and the toughest part is always when more than half your body is submerged in it. but when you get enough leeway to hoist yourself out, things'll get better. sure, you may come out all muddy and stinky, but you can always wash that off and clean up. but you don't only leave with muddy clothes, but also with the lesson to never fall into that hole again and the lesson of how to get yourself out.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
punyetiks
punyetiks
on loop: love of my life ~ southborder
hay nako. bad trip ako mehn grabe. this day is so full of crock. first it started out bad, then good, then bad, then good, then hella bad! fart. i know that my crush is cute (he wouldn't be my crush if he weren't) but i had no idea that every girl was crazy about him as well. i'm lucky since we're good friends already (i swear, di ako nagfifeeling) and it's so friggin' ironic talaga. the more we become closer as friends, the more i think i'm falling for him. sobrang lakas ng tama mehn. as in whapaakkk straight to the heart. i can't stand it... i'd rather i lose this feeling already. it's driving me crazy. we sit together all the time and he really treats like a good friend... holding hands, he punches me (sometime mwahehehe pero joke lang), he high-fives me, and he expects me to understand him. so in short, chums nga. that should be great but i can't stand it! it's really eating me up seeing all the girls (and gays) make googly-eyes at him and trying to fence him (meaning, inaangkin). i know its selfish but arrgghh. we had a great day... we spent about 5 hours talking about anything under the sun and i really, really think i love him na! mwahehehe just kidding ang baduy but hey.
i really can't deal with it. but what broke the camel's back (camel nako ngayon eh harhar) was the fact that he's actually single... but taken. he's not officially with anyone but he said they had an understanding already. and hearing how much he loved the idiot girl was equivalent to falling off a cliff, landing on sharp rocks, being swept away at sea then devoured by sharks. only worse. our group went to mega to sing karaoke then we had a late lunch. i can't help my growing (ang cheesy nito, get ready! hahaha) attraction for him. but what's worse is that, wala na kong pag-asa dun. i'm sure. and that sucks. and it bites. and it totally kills. anyway this was just meant to be a hort and quick post... just got home and i need to do a lot of things still and i also need to get some sleep. shet talaga. hay nako why can't i ever get the guy i want :s oh and a postscript... i was thinking while i was walking home kanina. i was wondering what makes me feel this way about him. then i realized the very reason: he is the exact guy that i would have wanted for myself...
some people call it their dream guy... or their ideal man or perfect boy. he's all that pala to me and more. i remember the movie where sandra bullock and nicole kidman were witch sisters and sandra made a spell that asked for the most impossible kind of man. actually, i sort of have something like that. and this guy fits everything to a t, i kid you not. down to the soft hands, brown eyes, basketball varsity player, singer and dancer, humor and wit. he's the epitome of a too good to be true guy. he is the man i would marry in a wink... no questions asked. because i know that he would never hurt a girl. i really know that for a fact. plus he's gwapo! my type exactly :_( how sad... makes me wanna cry. anyway, gotta go off first. be back soon as i can.
on loop: love of my life ~ southborder
hay nako. bad trip ako mehn grabe. this day is so full of crock. first it started out bad, then good, then bad, then good, then hella bad! fart. i know that my crush is cute (he wouldn't be my crush if he weren't) but i had no idea that every girl was crazy about him as well. i'm lucky since we're good friends already (i swear, di ako nagfifeeling) and it's so friggin' ironic talaga. the more we become closer as friends, the more i think i'm falling for him. sobrang lakas ng tama mehn. as in whapaakkk straight to the heart. i can't stand it... i'd rather i lose this feeling already. it's driving me crazy. we sit together all the time and he really treats like a good friend... holding hands, he punches me (sometime mwahehehe pero joke lang), he high-fives me, and he expects me to understand him. so in short, chums nga. that should be great but i can't stand it! it's really eating me up seeing all the girls (and gays) make googly-eyes at him and trying to fence him (meaning, inaangkin). i know its selfish but arrgghh. we had a great day... we spent about 5 hours talking about anything under the sun and i really, really think i love him na! mwahehehe just kidding ang baduy but hey.
i really can't deal with it. but what broke the camel's back (camel nako ngayon eh harhar) was the fact that he's actually single... but taken. he's not officially with anyone but he said they had an understanding already. and hearing how much he loved the idiot girl was equivalent to falling off a cliff, landing on sharp rocks, being swept away at sea then devoured by sharks. only worse. our group went to mega to sing karaoke then we had a late lunch. i can't help my growing (ang cheesy nito, get ready! hahaha) attraction for him. but what's worse is that, wala na kong pag-asa dun. i'm sure. and that sucks. and it bites. and it totally kills. anyway this was just meant to be a hort and quick post... just got home and i need to do a lot of things still and i also need to get some sleep. shet talaga. hay nako why can't i ever get the guy i want :s oh and a postscript... i was thinking while i was walking home kanina. i was wondering what makes me feel this way about him. then i realized the very reason: he is the exact guy that i would have wanted for myself...
some people call it their dream guy... or their ideal man or perfect boy. he's all that pala to me and more. i remember the movie where sandra bullock and nicole kidman were witch sisters and sandra made a spell that asked for the most impossible kind of man. actually, i sort of have something like that. and this guy fits everything to a t, i kid you not. down to the soft hands, brown eyes, basketball varsity player, singer and dancer, humor and wit. he's the epitome of a too good to be true guy. he is the man i would marry in a wink... no questions asked. because i know that he would never hurt a girl. i really know that for a fact. plus he's gwapo! my type exactly :_( how sad... makes me wanna cry. anyway, gotta go off first. be back soon as i can.
Monday, November 29, 2004
beautiful day
beautiful day
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i made the RIGHT decision. teleperformance is great. they treat their people with professional courtesy and sonsideration. the office is great and i'm with a winner. winners beget more winners. and the people are incredible. feels good to have made the right decision. my first paycheck comes out on friday... it covers today's and tomorrow's training. that'll be around P2,200, they said. not baaaad. but it'll be going to certain debts i have to pay up but that's allright. i'll work real hard to earn those air points and incentives harharhar, and before i know it, i'd REALLY be earning. *laughs greedily in anticipation*
our trainer is lane winward, an american writer of marketing, management, success and self-help books who's very good in his field. high-caliber... i almost feel ashamed to even be in the same room with him. 4am to 1pm felt like an hour because of the fun we were having... it's hard but it's good kind of hard. challenging. we have 20 minute breaks every 2 hours and our lunch break is at 730am, for an hour. the people were great and are so much easier to get along with than those from e-pac... i mean, they were fabulous, really but i now see that these TP people are also great, way beyond my expectations. one of the spiels in e-pac says that "we are always satisfied with what we have until we find something better, right?"... it's so true. i was happy with e-pac, thinking that was the best i could go. i was wrong because i am right. harhar labo noh? basta. yun na yun.
and by the way, my crush already met my dad. he rode in the car with me and my dad because he needed a ride to the camp crame mrt station. they got along so well. *evil grin* PWEDEEEHH! just kidding. it's been great. i am just so thankful right now (and a bit tired too, actually hehe). take care, everyone ;p
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i made the RIGHT decision. teleperformance is great. they treat their people with professional courtesy and sonsideration. the office is great and i'm with a winner. winners beget more winners. and the people are incredible. feels good to have made the right decision. my first paycheck comes out on friday... it covers today's and tomorrow's training. that'll be around P2,200, they said. not baaaad. but it'll be going to certain debts i have to pay up but that's allright. i'll work real hard to earn those air points and incentives harharhar, and before i know it, i'd REALLY be earning. *laughs greedily in anticipation*
our trainer is lane winward, an american writer of marketing, management, success and self-help books who's very good in his field. high-caliber... i almost feel ashamed to even be in the same room with him. 4am to 1pm felt like an hour because of the fun we were having... it's hard but it's good kind of hard. challenging. we have 20 minute breaks every 2 hours and our lunch break is at 730am, for an hour. the people were great and are so much easier to get along with than those from e-pac... i mean, they were fabulous, really but i now see that these TP people are also great, way beyond my expectations. one of the spiels in e-pac says that "we are always satisfied with what we have until we find something better, right?"... it's so true. i was happy with e-pac, thinking that was the best i could go. i was wrong because i am right. harhar labo noh? basta. yun na yun.
and by the way, my crush already met my dad. he rode in the car with me and my dad because he needed a ride to the camp crame mrt station. they got along so well. *evil grin* PWEDEEEHH! just kidding. it's been great. i am just so thankful right now (and a bit tired too, actually hehe). take care, everyone ;p
Saturday, November 27, 2004
WHATTA day!
WHATTA day!
on loop: sunshine ~ twista feat. anthony hamilton (kamikaze mix)
NOTE: this, by far, is the longest post i may have had been able to write EVER... (took me more than an hour to make) and it all happened in just ONE day. senseless ramblings actually hehe. just a little warning for you hehe ;p
yesterday was incredible. i was scheduled for a phone interview in teleperformance (4/F Octagon bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas) at 1:00 pm but in usual hyannah fashion, i was running late. i prayed to God and asked for a sign and wisdom in interpreting it 'coz it could be his way of telling me that i shouldn't bother with teleperformance anymore since e-pacific hired me already just the night before my supposed interview in TP. i asked God that if i get to TP and i miss my interview slot that would mean it's not for me to have. but when i got to TP (25 minutes late at that), the person scheduled for the 12:30nn slot hasn't even had her turn yet so i was actually way early. i met up with the girl i was with the first time i was there and we chatted away. in the call center industry, there is something that everyone needs to be great at. it's called rapport building... it's when you are able to connect with your client and build a somewhat bridge founded by strains of friendship and comraderie. it's what happens when people say 'we CLICK'. i met two other people whom i also totally CLICKED with. a guy (half-guy actually hehe) from UP Diliman and a basketball varsity player from UE (eto all-guy hahaha *sigh ;p* ewan).
anyway, after the phone interview with GMs from salt lake city, i was informed that i passed. i was immediately led out to take a typing test. passing rate was 35 words per minute and i also passed that (i got 42 wpm ahehe). and before i even knew what the heck was happening, i was up next for final interview already. during the final interview, i was asked to mock-sell several items. i was also asked to read out loud several paragraphs of nonsense (hehe). then i was asked several questions about myself... then my opinion on several political and economic issues. after which my (very cute haha) interviewer informed me that i was hired. farty fart fart. worst thing is that, i was to be placed in a new account for Dell computers (a high-end campaign) and was to start immediately on monday. it was all like, WHOA hold up, lemme catch up or something. what caught my attention was that the project was new and top leader positions were also up for grabs... like team leader, QM, floor manager, etc. if you excel during training, they could promote your position upfront. in fact, the position i applied for was a CCA (call center agent) but after my final interview they decided that i was qualified to be a TSR (technical sales representative) which is like a level 2 cca.. which means higher salary! hahaha.
the 3 people with whom i was hanging out with in the waiting room were also assigned to the same campaign that i was in and we were all so happy coz before we were informed that we made it, we were hoping that if ever we do get in, we'd be in the same project. and we are! around 5PM, we (paul, karl and me) left TP and decided to celebrate a bit in megamall and ended up eating in mexicali. you know how you get a feeling that you've known certain people for years already even if you've just met them? well, this is a perfect example of that situation. paul was actually from the ob montessori gh during gradescool before he transferred to pisay and he earned a double-major degree in upd after that. karl was part of the ue varsity basketball team in the uaap but was injured so he didn't get to play much but (i just have to say this), he's SO cute! nyahahaha grabe. and a nice mart guy at that (wala pa gf! joke ;p). we stayed in mexicali till around 7PM just chit-chatting and making plans for team-building gigs already and stuff. but deep inside me i was so sad since i still had e-pac to consider. i love TP but i also love e-pac, much more actually (at that time, i was thinking it was because i admire my trainer and my boss.. coz they're hella good in what they do). but the opportunity in TP is too great to pass up... darn. so anyway, karl took me home *sigh* and there was no awkward moments or stupid dead air moments. it was all cool. i had a great time and am actually looking forward to working with him (and paul and louise as well, of course hehe)... but epac is also there so i dunno yet.
i got home around 7:30 and freshened up for my day at e-pacific which would start at 9PM. when i got there everyone was tense since today was a make or break day for everyone (erm... except me coz i *think* i made it already). we had to make formal revalida calls... the pressure was on since we were informed that it was a make or break tryst. when it was my turn and i dialled the interlocal number of sir joey for my revalida, he picked it up and asked if i were hyannah (we were arranged alphabetically so he kinda knew already) and i said yeah. then he said, 'get the next one. i don't need to revalidate you... you've outdone yourself'. coming from the vp for sales, i was extremely flattered and proud to have received such a comment. normally the vp for sales don't remember trainee names but i was informed that i was already assigned under team joey (the vps team made up of agents who's been with the co. for more than 6 mos. already) and jaja (top seller 7 times in a row as a CCA and now team leader of team joey) would be my mentor. actually, gaining this sort of prestige, though only at this level, gained me alot of friends. but then again, also a lot of enemies.
people were talking behind my back saying things like 'bata lang yan eh bakit ba yan nandito? naglalaro lang yan eh. di naman nya kelangan ng pera... tumataas tuloy ang standards kaya nahihirapan tayo' and stuff. this really hurt me. when my friend told me this since one of the girls told her this, i was both mad and sad. but i decided to let it slip because in some ways i knew it was true but i also know that it wasn't my fault that they (those sour-grapers) sucked at their job. i wasn't doing anything special that wasn't in our scripts or training spiels. out of the 36 of us, only 14 passed. many left in tears and it was heart-breaking to see... many sacrifices and hard work has been poured into these past 5 days, more than any i've ever done fro anything as a matter of fact, and everyone had to give up certain things to make the cut and it hurts to be cut rather than make it. even the people who were talking behind my back (one of them made it as well, by the way) were pitiful as they cried and lamented. i had no idea this meant so much to them.
we got out from e-pac just before 1AM and we were supposed to go to baywalk. this is where most of the adventure comes in. only 12 wanted to go (2 of whom didn't make it but were part of the 'circle of life' as we call it hahaha). from julia vargas we walked to, brace yourselves... SHAW boulevard. in heels and business attire. daymn. we all rode in one long jeep till quiapo then we got off and alighted a vito cruz jeep that would take us to roxas boulevard. everyone was so kenkoy and ligh-hearted during the trip and it was so fun. we got off in malate and we walked around for a bit checking out the bars and stuff. then someone suggested that we play a game called 'cheapskate'(sarcasm abound) and try to have fun with spending less than a 100 each (not including cigarettes and beer hehe) and it's supposed to last us till morning since we wanted to view the sun rise in manila bay.
we ended up buying a whole roast chicken from andok's (for only 30 bucks each hehe) and plain rice from chowking, one for each of us. we then went to the ccp grounds, bought kwek-kwek and goto and taho (8 bucks kwek-kwek, 5 bucks taho and 10 bucks goto), rented two picnic blankets for 10 bucks each and found a great spot overlooking the bay full of lights. this was around 3AM already but we were still all hyper and wide awake hehe. CCAs na nga hehe. we ate with our hands (fun! hehe) and the food tasted great (mga gutom na kasi ;p). after eating, we all just sat back and relaxed, watching the bay and the stars. we talked about everything from politics, to religion, to history, even to the end of the world. i now believe that the end is near hahaha. but really, i do. the discussion fascinated me and we all learned so much from each other (everyone were wide readers pala), factual and personal information (everyone was so open and honest to one another). there were a lot of people of people in the area despite the ungodly hours. before we knew it, it was already 5:30AM and the sun was about to rise. we got up and transferred to another side of the bay for a better view. it was beautiful and magnificent and amazing and touching all at the same time. hahaha labo. i loved that night. its a special experience absolutely no money can buy... a one of a kind memory.
after the sun rose, we headed out to go home. this was around 6:30 already and we all rode a shuttle going to vito cruz/taft. from there, we parted ways already since we got on different jeeps headed to different places. i got on a jeep headed for cubao with three others (sime, joy and wendell). i had the greatest time ever. and for the first time, i felt like i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time out of sentiment for people i knew for roughly a week only. they are all very sweet and interesting and smart and personally, they opened my eyes to what the real world is all about. the things i've learned from them i would have had to experience for about 10 years. they were wise and clever and witty and... simply just great company. it was good, clean fun (cheap too ;p). they all treat me as the baby of the group (i admit i am the most jaded among everyone.. too sheltered) even if wendell is a year younger than i am. when i got home, i talked with my dad and asked for help since i do not know where i should go now. i want to work for both comapanies but of course, that's not possible. and i have to make a decision by sunday morning. sigh. i need my friends :( they're wise and great in maing sound desions. sadly, we're all busy with different things nowadays so i haven't had the chance to see them jusy yet. soon, hopefully.
on loop: sunshine ~ twista feat. anthony hamilton (kamikaze mix)
NOTE: this, by far, is the longest post i may have had been able to write EVER... (took me more than an hour to make) and it all happened in just ONE day. senseless ramblings actually hehe. just a little warning for you hehe ;p
yesterday was incredible. i was scheduled for a phone interview in teleperformance (4/F Octagon bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas) at 1:00 pm but in usual hyannah fashion, i was running late. i prayed to God and asked for a sign and wisdom in interpreting it 'coz it could be his way of telling me that i shouldn't bother with teleperformance anymore since e-pacific hired me already just the night before my supposed interview in TP. i asked God that if i get to TP and i miss my interview slot that would mean it's not for me to have. but when i got to TP (25 minutes late at that), the person scheduled for the 12:30nn slot hasn't even had her turn yet so i was actually way early. i met up with the girl i was with the first time i was there and we chatted away. in the call center industry, there is something that everyone needs to be great at. it's called rapport building... it's when you are able to connect with your client and build a somewhat bridge founded by strains of friendship and comraderie. it's what happens when people say 'we CLICK'. i met two other people whom i also totally CLICKED with. a guy (half-guy actually hehe) from UP Diliman and a basketball varsity player from UE (eto all-guy hahaha *sigh ;p* ewan).
anyway, after the phone interview with GMs from salt lake city, i was informed that i passed. i was immediately led out to take a typing test. passing rate was 35 words per minute and i also passed that (i got 42 wpm ahehe). and before i even knew what the heck was happening, i was up next for final interview already. during the final interview, i was asked to mock-sell several items. i was also asked to read out loud several paragraphs of nonsense (hehe). then i was asked several questions about myself... then my opinion on several political and economic issues. after which my (very cute haha) interviewer informed me that i was hired. farty fart fart. worst thing is that, i was to be placed in a new account for Dell computers (a high-end campaign) and was to start immediately on monday. it was all like, WHOA hold up, lemme catch up or something. what caught my attention was that the project was new and top leader positions were also up for grabs... like team leader, QM, floor manager, etc. if you excel during training, they could promote your position upfront. in fact, the position i applied for was a CCA (call center agent) but after my final interview they decided that i was qualified to be a TSR (technical sales representative) which is like a level 2 cca.. which means higher salary! hahaha.
the 3 people with whom i was hanging out with in the waiting room were also assigned to the same campaign that i was in and we were all so happy coz before we were informed that we made it, we were hoping that if ever we do get in, we'd be in the same project. and we are! around 5PM, we (paul, karl and me) left TP and decided to celebrate a bit in megamall and ended up eating in mexicali. you know how you get a feeling that you've known certain people for years already even if you've just met them? well, this is a perfect example of that situation. paul was actually from the ob montessori gh during gradescool before he transferred to pisay and he earned a double-major degree in upd after that. karl was part of the ue varsity basketball team in the uaap but was injured so he didn't get to play much but (i just have to say this), he's SO cute! nyahahaha grabe. and a nice mart guy at that (wala pa gf! joke ;p). we stayed in mexicali till around 7PM just chit-chatting and making plans for team-building gigs already and stuff. but deep inside me i was so sad since i still had e-pac to consider. i love TP but i also love e-pac, much more actually (at that time, i was thinking it was because i admire my trainer and my boss.. coz they're hella good in what they do). but the opportunity in TP is too great to pass up... darn. so anyway, karl took me home *sigh* and there was no awkward moments or stupid dead air moments. it was all cool. i had a great time and am actually looking forward to working with him (and paul and louise as well, of course hehe)... but epac is also there so i dunno yet.
i got home around 7:30 and freshened up for my day at e-pacific which would start at 9PM. when i got there everyone was tense since today was a make or break day for everyone (erm... except me coz i *think* i made it already). we had to make formal revalida calls... the pressure was on since we were informed that it was a make or break tryst. when it was my turn and i dialled the interlocal number of sir joey for my revalida, he picked it up and asked if i were hyannah (we were arranged alphabetically so he kinda knew already) and i said yeah. then he said, 'get the next one. i don't need to revalidate you... you've outdone yourself'. coming from the vp for sales, i was extremely flattered and proud to have received such a comment. normally the vp for sales don't remember trainee names but i was informed that i was already assigned under team joey (the vps team made up of agents who's been with the co. for more than 6 mos. already) and jaja (top seller 7 times in a row as a CCA and now team leader of team joey) would be my mentor. actually, gaining this sort of prestige, though only at this level, gained me alot of friends. but then again, also a lot of enemies.
people were talking behind my back saying things like 'bata lang yan eh bakit ba yan nandito? naglalaro lang yan eh. di naman nya kelangan ng pera... tumataas tuloy ang standards kaya nahihirapan tayo' and stuff. this really hurt me. when my friend told me this since one of the girls told her this, i was both mad and sad. but i decided to let it slip because in some ways i knew it was true but i also know that it wasn't my fault that they (those sour-grapers) sucked at their job. i wasn't doing anything special that wasn't in our scripts or training spiels. out of the 36 of us, only 14 passed. many left in tears and it was heart-breaking to see... many sacrifices and hard work has been poured into these past 5 days, more than any i've ever done fro anything as a matter of fact, and everyone had to give up certain things to make the cut and it hurts to be cut rather than make it. even the people who were talking behind my back (one of them made it as well, by the way) were pitiful as they cried and lamented. i had no idea this meant so much to them.
we got out from e-pac just before 1AM and we were supposed to go to baywalk. this is where most of the adventure comes in. only 12 wanted to go (2 of whom didn't make it but were part of the 'circle of life' as we call it hahaha). from julia vargas we walked to, brace yourselves... SHAW boulevard. in heels and business attire. daymn. we all rode in one long jeep till quiapo then we got off and alighted a vito cruz jeep that would take us to roxas boulevard. everyone was so kenkoy and ligh-hearted during the trip and it was so fun. we got off in malate and we walked around for a bit checking out the bars and stuff. then someone suggested that we play a game called 'cheapskate'(sarcasm abound) and try to have fun with spending less than a 100 each (not including cigarettes and beer hehe) and it's supposed to last us till morning since we wanted to view the sun rise in manila bay.
we ended up buying a whole roast chicken from andok's (for only 30 bucks each hehe) and plain rice from chowking, one for each of us. we then went to the ccp grounds, bought kwek-kwek and goto and taho (8 bucks kwek-kwek, 5 bucks taho and 10 bucks goto), rented two picnic blankets for 10 bucks each and found a great spot overlooking the bay full of lights. this was around 3AM already but we were still all hyper and wide awake hehe. CCAs na nga hehe. we ate with our hands (fun! hehe) and the food tasted great (mga gutom na kasi ;p). after eating, we all just sat back and relaxed, watching the bay and the stars. we talked about everything from politics, to religion, to history, even to the end of the world. i now believe that the end is near hahaha. but really, i do. the discussion fascinated me and we all learned so much from each other (everyone were wide readers pala), factual and personal information (everyone was so open and honest to one another). there were a lot of people of people in the area despite the ungodly hours. before we knew it, it was already 5:30AM and the sun was about to rise. we got up and transferred to another side of the bay for a better view. it was beautiful and magnificent and amazing and touching all at the same time. hahaha labo. i loved that night. its a special experience absolutely no money can buy... a one of a kind memory.
after the sun rose, we headed out to go home. this was around 6:30 already and we all rode a shuttle going to vito cruz/taft. from there, we parted ways already since we got on different jeeps headed to different places. i got on a jeep headed for cubao with three others (sime, joy and wendell). i had the greatest time ever. and for the first time, i felt like i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time out of sentiment for people i knew for roughly a week only. they are all very sweet and interesting and smart and personally, they opened my eyes to what the real world is all about. the things i've learned from them i would have had to experience for about 10 years. they were wise and clever and witty and... simply just great company. it was good, clean fun (cheap too ;p). they all treat me as the baby of the group (i admit i am the most jaded among everyone.. too sheltered) even if wendell is a year younger than i am. when i got home, i talked with my dad and asked for help since i do not know where i should go now. i want to work for both comapanies but of course, that's not possible. and i have to make a decision by sunday morning. sigh. i need my friends :( they're wise and great in maing sound desions. sadly, we're all busy with different things nowadays so i haven't had the chance to see them jusy yet. soon, hopefully.
Friday, November 26, 2004
gloat
gloat
on loop: bibbo ~ vhong navarro (hahaha)
before i say anything else, i just wanna remind everyone (and myself as well ;p) that this is my blogspace and i'm free to let loose any verbal diarrhea i might have. having said that, i wanna go to my main point now. actually, I RULE. ahahaha how terribly conceited i know but i just have to gloat for a bit to get this out of my system. as i've said before, i'm under training for e-pac since monday, right? this morning, we had a mock revalida. a revalida is a revalidation wherein we aspiring call center agents are made to place calls as we would an actual international client call.... but the difference here is that we are made to act as agents to clients who are played by ceratin higher-ups in the company. out of the original number of 68 in our initial training day last monday, only 36 were left for today... the others having been eliminated. everyone was so tense and shook up while waiting for our turns. i was assigned to place a call to our company's vp for sales. intimidating shit. but what really rocked my boat, after all the circus hulla-baloo, was that i was the only one who made it in our batch. not two, not three, but just me. the call i made was so good that they made me do it again but this time they made me call the line of the training room and they put me on speaker phone for everyone to hear. even the team leaders, qm's and the vp for sales of course was there. i was the only one told that i did good and everyone rushed up to me full of congratulatory remarks and stuff... i haven't ever felt that way before, really. it's different level of euphoria.
it's so hard to explain without sounding too full of myself but i guess i'm just so proud to have made it despite the difficult path. after i made the second call, the vp approached me and asked if i could be honest with him and say if i had applied or am considering other offers from other companies... i said that i was scheduled for my final interview in another call center this afternoon, and in front of the entire batch he said "could i negotiate with you on that? if i gave you a *toot (amount of money)* more than what *toot (name of company b)*, will you disregard your interview and work with us?" needless to say, i was shocked out of my boots. the offer was very good and very un-protocol. the money was very good but i was flustered so i asked for some time to think it over. he then invited me for "coffee with us" ('us' being the higher-ups) and "discuss business". mwahahahaha. bullshit. to cut a long story short, i did good and i'm proud. it was hard and i really, really worked for this so i deserve it. it's loads of fun... i've made so many friends and learned so so so much about about anything and everything about life in general. tonight, our batch will be going to baywalk to celebrate... newfound friendships, i guess? and greater learning hehe. life's great right now. i'm having good and clean fun and learning at the same time :) on the other hand, i miss my friends so much i haven't had the time to hang with any of them lately but hopefully we'll all find some common loose end in our schedules and get together again... there's still nothing like the warmth of your real friends (naks hehe).
**** by the way, i did not intend for this post to practice conceit but simply as a form of record which i could turn back to in the future and see how my first ever job application turned out and what became of my virgin attempt in the corporate world. if you've reached this far in reading my post, thanks for your time :) i really appreciate yopu sharing in my sentiments somehow.
on loop: bibbo ~ vhong navarro (hahaha)
before i say anything else, i just wanna remind everyone (and myself as well ;p) that this is my blogspace and i'm free to let loose any verbal diarrhea i might have. having said that, i wanna go to my main point now. actually, I RULE. ahahaha how terribly conceited i know but i just have to gloat for a bit to get this out of my system. as i've said before, i'm under training for e-pac since monday, right? this morning, we had a mock revalida. a revalida is a revalidation wherein we aspiring call center agents are made to place calls as we would an actual international client call.... but the difference here is that we are made to act as agents to clients who are played by ceratin higher-ups in the company. out of the original number of 68 in our initial training day last monday, only 36 were left for today... the others having been eliminated. everyone was so tense and shook up while waiting for our turns. i was assigned to place a call to our company's vp for sales. intimidating shit. but what really rocked my boat, after all the circus hulla-baloo, was that i was the only one who made it in our batch. not two, not three, but just me. the call i made was so good that they made me do it again but this time they made me call the line of the training room and they put me on speaker phone for everyone to hear. even the team leaders, qm's and the vp for sales of course was there. i was the only one told that i did good and everyone rushed up to me full of congratulatory remarks and stuff... i haven't ever felt that way before, really. it's different level of euphoria.
it's so hard to explain without sounding too full of myself but i guess i'm just so proud to have made it despite the difficult path. after i made the second call, the vp approached me and asked if i could be honest with him and say if i had applied or am considering other offers from other companies... i said that i was scheduled for my final interview in another call center this afternoon, and in front of the entire batch he said "could i negotiate with you on that? if i gave you a *toot (amount of money)* more than what *toot (name of company b)*, will you disregard your interview and work with us?" needless to say, i was shocked out of my boots. the offer was very good and very un-protocol. the money was very good but i was flustered so i asked for some time to think it over. he then invited me for "coffee with us" ('us' being the higher-ups) and "discuss business". mwahahahaha. bullshit. to cut a long story short, i did good and i'm proud. it was hard and i really, really worked for this so i deserve it. it's loads of fun... i've made so many friends and learned so so so much about about anything and everything about life in general. tonight, our batch will be going to baywalk to celebrate... newfound friendships, i guess? and greater learning hehe. life's great right now. i'm having good and clean fun and learning at the same time :) on the other hand, i miss my friends so much i haven't had the time to hang with any of them lately but hopefully we'll all find some common loose end in our schedules and get together again... there's still nothing like the warmth of your real friends (naks hehe).
**** by the way, i did not intend for this post to practice conceit but simply as a form of record which i could turn back to in the future and see how my first ever job application turned out and what became of my virgin attempt in the corporate world. if you've reached this far in reading my post, thanks for your time :) i really appreciate yopu sharing in my sentiments somehow.
Monday, November 22, 2004
free spree
free spree
on loop: can i walk with you ~ india arie
my dad cooked up a surprise for me this entire day :) we were supposed to go to our other house in BF but he cancelled at the last minute, saying that the car wasn't in such good shape to travel so far. he then prepared four dishes for lunch! felt like it was someone's birthday or fiesta or something. there were buttered shrimps, fried tilapia, beef in tomato sauce and roast chicken hehehe. needless to say, i pigged out hahaha. then he promised to finally get me a dvd player for Christmas.. hehe yay! i know i'm like the lamest ever since im still in the vcd stage... pirated at that. so i'm really glad he finally agreed to buy me a player. around 6, when i was lounging around in my room, he comes in surprisingly (he never goes up to my room) and re-installs a phone line in my room hehehe yay... after a few months of confiscating it :) i'm finally connected again hehe. he then suddenly asks me what i was going to wear to my first job training this monday night and i rattled off the usual stuff in my closet that could pass as business attire then my dad told me to get dressed fast coz we were going "somewhere".
i didnt know where we were headed but it turns out we went to an ukay-ukay!!! very cool hehe. the place was huge and clean and bright (not exactly what i imagined tthe place to be but.. BETTER hehe) and CHEAP! i went crazy hehe... i got 4 tops and two slacks, my dad got himself 3 polos and we paid only P860 bucks! amazing :) considering the quality of the items were parallel to those found in mall stores. i personally like a blue sweater with a funky collar and cream slacks that my dad picked out for me. he even found a marks and spencer polo in blue and a dark green ralph lauren! very fab finds :) hehe. we were there for about 2hours, rummaging through the endless racks of great outfits. we left just before 11... after that, i thought we were going home already, but he took me to the night market in greenhills as well. the great thing about shopping with parents is that they pay for your stuff! hahaha. bought some stuff in the night market as well. they had really great polos (basically what i need for work) at 200 to 300 bucks apiece only! i thought it would be around 500, but they apparently pulled the prices down already. my dad just patiently waited for me among the tables near the food stalls even if it was raining. *sigh* i felt guilty about that... on the way home, he talked to me about what i wanted to do with my life. he gave suggestions and advice, but in the end he said that he would support me in whatever i would decide to do. he said i was old enough already and that i had enough brains to handle myself in this tough world.
i really get uncomfortable during talks like this... i'm not used to serious, heartfelt discussions but i know that my dad means well and that he's accepted that not all plans in life are realized. sometimes things have to make a detour before one can get to where they're really supposed to go. i've been thinking these past few days and i realized that maybe i was meant to go the way i am now. it may have seemed like it was a terrible mistake at first but now, i am loving it. i am excited for my job and i feel rejuvenated. i've made plans for the future... sorted out my crazy life, set my priorities straight, and learned a lot while i was at it. people have been great... my friends are very supportive and fun (as always), my blockmates didn't judge me as i first thought they would, and certain people did not forget me as i also thought they would. life's been good. actually, i really dunno what got into my dad as to why he's suddenly really gung-ho on all this being nice stuff, but i don't want to dampen the moment by being a negative speculator. i'm just happy... way beyond material happiness. thank you God for each and every thing.
on loop: can i walk with you ~ india arie
my dad cooked up a surprise for me this entire day :) we were supposed to go to our other house in BF but he cancelled at the last minute, saying that the car wasn't in such good shape to travel so far. he then prepared four dishes for lunch! felt like it was someone's birthday or fiesta or something. there were buttered shrimps, fried tilapia, beef in tomato sauce and roast chicken hehehe. needless to say, i pigged out hahaha. then he promised to finally get me a dvd player for Christmas.. hehe yay! i know i'm like the lamest ever since im still in the vcd stage... pirated at that. so i'm really glad he finally agreed to buy me a player. around 6, when i was lounging around in my room, he comes in surprisingly (he never goes up to my room) and re-installs a phone line in my room hehehe yay... after a few months of confiscating it :) i'm finally connected again hehe. he then suddenly asks me what i was going to wear to my first job training this monday night and i rattled off the usual stuff in my closet that could pass as business attire then my dad told me to get dressed fast coz we were going "somewhere".
i didnt know where we were headed but it turns out we went to an ukay-ukay!!! very cool hehe. the place was huge and clean and bright (not exactly what i imagined tthe place to be but.. BETTER hehe) and CHEAP! i went crazy hehe... i got 4 tops and two slacks, my dad got himself 3 polos and we paid only P860 bucks! amazing :) considering the quality of the items were parallel to those found in mall stores. i personally like a blue sweater with a funky collar and cream slacks that my dad picked out for me. he even found a marks and spencer polo in blue and a dark green ralph lauren! very fab finds :) hehe. we were there for about 2hours, rummaging through the endless racks of great outfits. we left just before 11... after that, i thought we were going home already, but he took me to the night market in greenhills as well. the great thing about shopping with parents is that they pay for your stuff! hahaha. bought some stuff in the night market as well. they had really great polos (basically what i need for work) at 200 to 300 bucks apiece only! i thought it would be around 500, but they apparently pulled the prices down already. my dad just patiently waited for me among the tables near the food stalls even if it was raining. *sigh* i felt guilty about that... on the way home, he talked to me about what i wanted to do with my life. he gave suggestions and advice, but in the end he said that he would support me in whatever i would decide to do. he said i was old enough already and that i had enough brains to handle myself in this tough world.
i really get uncomfortable during talks like this... i'm not used to serious, heartfelt discussions but i know that my dad means well and that he's accepted that not all plans in life are realized. sometimes things have to make a detour before one can get to where they're really supposed to go. i've been thinking these past few days and i realized that maybe i was meant to go the way i am now. it may have seemed like it was a terrible mistake at first but now, i am loving it. i am excited for my job and i feel rejuvenated. i've made plans for the future... sorted out my crazy life, set my priorities straight, and learned a lot while i was at it. people have been great... my friends are very supportive and fun (as always), my blockmates didn't judge me as i first thought they would, and certain people did not forget me as i also thought they would. life's been good. actually, i really dunno what got into my dad as to why he's suddenly really gung-ho on all this being nice stuff, but i don't want to dampen the moment by being a negative speculator. i'm just happy... way beyond material happiness. thank you God for each and every thing.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
quickie
quickie
on loop: all i want for christmas is you ~ mariah carey
wow... just a quick post. im kinda tired right now, just got home. anyway, e-pacific called me back and they want me to give them a try again. ha! just kidding. i gace them a piece of my mind about how ineffecient and lousy they were for not pulling through with their obligation to dessiminate information effectively. haha i had no right to be nagging my prospective future employer but i guess i was doing that in the hope that they'd change their mind about me and just drop me since i was already accepted in this other (more favored actually) company... with a higher pay at that! but e-pac (or atleast my campaign team leader) apologized and tried to arrange the "most convenient" schedule for me... that goes for training and work sched as well. harhar. what a lamer ;p but i appreciate the effort. i'll attend their training on monday since i haven't made my mind up yet (salary din yun! haha). what else what else. life's somehwat easy for me lately... i'm relaxed and care-free. i love being able to spend my time the way i want to... and being able to get up from bed and go back to sleep if i so desired haha. but i do miss school :) terribly. this morning, as i was pondering about life while i was in starbucks podium (after my exam for application), i realized so many things in my life. and i actually am beginning to make plans for myself again. feels great... after my world seemed to have crashed into nothingness when my short-term goals were abruptly yanked from my reach. so far, it's been great going :) life's cool...
on loop: all i want for christmas is you ~ mariah carey
wow... just a quick post. im kinda tired right now, just got home. anyway, e-pacific called me back and they want me to give them a try again. ha! just kidding. i gace them a piece of my mind about how ineffecient and lousy they were for not pulling through with their obligation to dessiminate information effectively. haha i had no right to be nagging my prospective future employer but i guess i was doing that in the hope that they'd change their mind about me and just drop me since i was already accepted in this other (more favored actually) company... with a higher pay at that! but e-pac (or atleast my campaign team leader) apologized and tried to arrange the "most convenient" schedule for me... that goes for training and work sched as well. harhar. what a lamer ;p but i appreciate the effort. i'll attend their training on monday since i haven't made my mind up yet (salary din yun! haha). what else what else. life's somehwat easy for me lately... i'm relaxed and care-free. i love being able to spend my time the way i want to... and being able to get up from bed and go back to sleep if i so desired haha. but i do miss school :) terribly. this morning, as i was pondering about life while i was in starbucks podium (after my exam for application), i realized so many things in my life. and i actually am beginning to make plans for myself again. feels great... after my world seemed to have crashed into nothingness when my short-term goals were abruptly yanked from my reach. so far, it's been great going :) life's cool...
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
not for me
not for me
on loop: baby can i hold you tonight (acoustic) ~ tracy chapman
hrrmm. i've decided to not push through with the job in e-pacific. after i was informed last thursday that i was hired, i was supposed to undergo training last monday. but they were still uncertain whether the training would push through that day since it was an official philippine holiday... and so they said that they would just notify me through SMS, email or phone the official schedule. come saturday, i still had no idea whether the trainin would push through or no and so i called the office. they told me that there were no recruitment or HR personnel available for that day so i should just call back monday. come monday, i called around 8am to inquire bout the training. well, turns out the training did push through that day... and it began at 6am! 6am?! damn. how in hell was i supposed to know that? so anyway, i chucked the idea altogether since i was sure the guy/gay who conducted my final interview would have some catty comments ready for me the (late) minute i'd step into the room. didn't want to deal with that.
anyway, it's all good. a lot of people have been telling me that i really should try another company aside from e-pac (e-fuck, as they fondly refer to it, for some reason that escapes me still). work is intensive in that company daw... no place for a beginner like me. they were quite surprised i even made it through hiring as it is, being an undergrad and all. anyway, a couple of people have been egging me to give teleperformance a try (4F Octagon Bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas). the pay's better and the workload's lighter hehe... plus i know a couple of people who work there as well. and it's nearer to megamall (starbucks, seattles best and mcdo) too! mwhahaha. i've been waiting for a sign as to whether i should go on with e-pac or not, so i suppose the fact that i missed training through no fault of my own is the sign i'm waiting for. i suppose it's not really meant for me. ehehe. oh well. anyway, i hope i do get into TP (i'll be applying on thursday hopefully)... its beginning to sound like a fun place ;p
on loop: baby can i hold you tonight (acoustic) ~ tracy chapman
hrrmm. i've decided to not push through with the job in e-pacific. after i was informed last thursday that i was hired, i was supposed to undergo training last monday. but they were still uncertain whether the training would push through that day since it was an official philippine holiday... and so they said that they would just notify me through SMS, email or phone the official schedule. come saturday, i still had no idea whether the trainin would push through or no and so i called the office. they told me that there were no recruitment or HR personnel available for that day so i should just call back monday. come monday, i called around 8am to inquire bout the training. well, turns out the training did push through that day... and it began at 6am! 6am?! damn. how in hell was i supposed to know that? so anyway, i chucked the idea altogether since i was sure the guy/gay who conducted my final interview would have some catty comments ready for me the (late) minute i'd step into the room. didn't want to deal with that.
anyway, it's all good. a lot of people have been telling me that i really should try another company aside from e-pac (e-fuck, as they fondly refer to it, for some reason that escapes me still). work is intensive in that company daw... no place for a beginner like me. they were quite surprised i even made it through hiring as it is, being an undergrad and all. anyway, a couple of people have been egging me to give teleperformance a try (4F Octagon Bldg., San Mig Ave., Ortigas). the pay's better and the workload's lighter hehe... plus i know a couple of people who work there as well. and it's nearer to megamall (starbucks, seattles best and mcdo) too! mwhahaha. i've been waiting for a sign as to whether i should go on with e-pac or not, so i suppose the fact that i missed training through no fault of my own is the sign i'm waiting for. i suppose it's not really meant for me. ehehe. oh well. anyway, i hope i do get into TP (i'll be applying on thursday hopefully)... its beginning to sound like a fun place ;p
Monday, November 15, 2004
long days
long days
on loop: Stick Around ~ Azure
watched the incredibles last saturday with andrea, sunshine and her two friends (gio and another guy whose name i cannot remember.. eheh sorry.) the movie lived up to its title... galing! i loved it so much :) the incredibles was incredible (haha baduuyy). also bought a pair of sandals, but unfortunatley, i left the right piece in andrea's car. darn. now i can't use it hehe. i'll just go pick it up from her whenever we're free. met up with bea later on during dinner in sizzling stop. then andrea had to go home and she dropped us off in megamall... after wandering around aimlessly for a bit, we walked (yes, WALKED. i was forced to! haha jk) to galleria and got coffee. we then went to pass for pam after a bit then headed to cantina in katipunan to go drinking! mwahehehe fun! haven't drank that much in quite some time mna rin. buti na lang bea was able to use her car (wine red altis! wow ;p) and her driver to bring all of us home. thanks so much bey :) 'twas a long eventful day... i was pooped on the way home, i didnt even realized i fell asleep na hehe. got home a bit past 3 na, and i was surprised that my dad waited up for me. yikes. hehe but he wasn't really mad... just got a bit of sermon harhar. speaking of my dad, its his 59th birthday tomorrow!!! (november 16) horay! i'll be cooking for him hehehe since i don't have any money to get him a gift ehehe... pahabol na lang next time ;p happy birthday, daddy!
on loop: Stick Around ~ Azure
watched the incredibles last saturday with andrea, sunshine and her two friends (gio and another guy whose name i cannot remember.. eheh sorry.) the movie lived up to its title... galing! i loved it so much :) the incredibles was incredible (haha baduuyy). also bought a pair of sandals, but unfortunatley, i left the right piece in andrea's car. darn. now i can't use it hehe. i'll just go pick it up from her whenever we're free. met up with bea later on during dinner in sizzling stop. then andrea had to go home and she dropped us off in megamall... after wandering around aimlessly for a bit, we walked (yes, WALKED. i was forced to! haha jk) to galleria and got coffee. we then went to pass for pam after a bit then headed to cantina in katipunan to go drinking! mwahehehe fun! haven't drank that much in quite some time mna rin. buti na lang bea was able to use her car (wine red altis! wow ;p) and her driver to bring all of us home. thanks so much bey :) 'twas a long eventful day... i was pooped on the way home, i didnt even realized i fell asleep na hehe. got home a bit past 3 na, and i was surprised that my dad waited up for me. yikes. hehe but he wasn't really mad... just got a bit of sermon harhar. speaking of my dad, its his 59th birthday tomorrow!!! (november 16) horay! i'll be cooking for him hehehe since i don't have any money to get him a gift ehehe... pahabol na lang next time ;p happy birthday, daddy!
Saturday, November 13, 2004
kilig factor
kilig factor
on loop: kilig ko.. mwahahaha
GRABE KINIKILIG AKO! hahaha that just sounds so LAME but what can i do, can't help it. it's really late right now but i'm still running on adrenaline. weird haha. just finished talking to a "friend" haha *wink* whom i haven't heard from for quite some time and i really don't know what's come over me. darn. haven't felt this kilig in a long, long, LONG time :D some things just come at the right place and at the right time. actually, i already logged off the net and shut the pc down and was about to go up to my room already but i got another (ok fine, i'll say it, despite the cheesiness) kilig fit haha so i headed back down and decided to wear it off by blogging for a bit... huling hirit kumbaga. sigh, i just feel like laughing all day everyday. sarap pala ng feeling na ganito haha. anyway, i really must have some sleep. will be catching a movie with shine and gio (her friend) in a few hours... wouldn't wanna be cranky or doze off or something. good. something to distract me before i get too carried away hehe. have a good weekend, everyone! ciao :)
on loop: kilig ko.. mwahahaha
GRABE KINIKILIG AKO! hahaha that just sounds so LAME but what can i do, can't help it. it's really late right now but i'm still running on adrenaline. weird haha. just finished talking to a "friend" haha *wink* whom i haven't heard from for quite some time and i really don't know what's come over me. darn. haven't felt this kilig in a long, long, LONG time :D some things just come at the right place and at the right time. actually, i already logged off the net and shut the pc down and was about to go up to my room already but i got another (ok fine, i'll say it, despite the cheesiness) kilig fit haha so i headed back down and decided to wear it off by blogging for a bit... huling hirit kumbaga. sigh, i just feel like laughing all day everyday. sarap pala ng feeling na ganito haha. anyway, i really must have some sleep. will be catching a movie with shine and gio (her friend) in a few hours... wouldn't wanna be cranky or doze off or something. good. something to distract me before i get too carried away hehe. have a good weekend, everyone! ciao :)
poetry and poesy
poetry and poesy
on loop: i'm still in love with you ~ new edition
hrrmmm... not everyone has it in them to appreciate poetry. i'm glad that somehow, in some way, i do. i may not be the most intelliegent audience but i can be a heartfelt one. anyway, one of my most favorite poets is maya angelou. if my terms serve me correctly, she's a post-modern poet... not really those classical types. well, as a little salute to her work and to the message they convey, i've decided to post a couple of my more favorite works of hers.
"Phenomenal Woman"
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
i really liked this piece because of the conviction in her words. also, the thoughts the reader is made to think are very provocative (not in a malicious sense of course Ü). i heard from someone that she was quite a feminist... it comes through a bit in this work. in poetry, i tend to appreciate the prose more than the form. i look into the words more than in it's construction, though that in itself is a huge factor in the effectivity of the piece. eheh.
this next poem is one of my personal favorites. i recited this during lit class back in 1st year college and i actually felt for it at that time. the words she used are very powerful and i find her to be a genius in her field. not that many people recognize her as a 'poet' since some people have this image in their head that poets are usually men from the neo-classical era... hrrmm. not so. anyway, hope you guys enjoy hehe.
"Still I Rise"
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
*****
"dancing with your feet is one thing... dancing with your heart is another."
on loop: i'm still in love with you ~ new edition
hrrmmm... not everyone has it in them to appreciate poetry. i'm glad that somehow, in some way, i do. i may not be the most intelliegent audience but i can be a heartfelt one. anyway, one of my most favorite poets is maya angelou. if my terms serve me correctly, she's a post-modern poet... not really those classical types. well, as a little salute to her work and to the message they convey, i've decided to post a couple of my more favorite works of hers.
"Phenomenal Woman"
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
i really liked this piece because of the conviction in her words. also, the thoughts the reader is made to think are very provocative (not in a malicious sense of course Ü). i heard from someone that she was quite a feminist... it comes through a bit in this work. in poetry, i tend to appreciate the prose more than the form. i look into the words more than in it's construction, though that in itself is a huge factor in the effectivity of the piece. eheh.
this next poem is one of my personal favorites. i recited this during lit class back in 1st year college and i actually felt for it at that time. the words she used are very powerful and i find her to be a genius in her field. not that many people recognize her as a 'poet' since some people have this image in their head that poets are usually men from the neo-classical era... hrrmm. not so. anyway, hope you guys enjoy hehe.
"Still I Rise"
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
*****
"dancing with your feet is one thing... dancing with your heart is another."
Friday, November 12, 2004
attempt # 1
attempt # 1
on loop: oh well ~ boyz II men
a minute or two
if i had a minute or two
i would spend it with you
let the days stretch into nights
have the darkness turn to light
if you gave me a minute or two
you would see the love that grew
struggling to express itself
spread its wings and flew
if i lost a minute or two
it would matter not
since you never knew
the heart that swam in salt
if you spent a minute or two
i would give all of mine
to be the one there for you
at that space in time
but all i have is a minute or two
of wasted lifetimes and broken dreams
spiralling past my reach
torn apart at the seams
and so i go on a search across sands of time
and all i had was hope and want as my crew
and maybe just so to bide my minute or twos
trying to find when the minute was when i lost you.
****
ehehe. meet my rotten attempt to come up with an artistic poem... made one earlier during the day but dismissed it as even more rubbish than this one so i made this right on the spot (hopefully to let the creative juices flow.. to no avail), but i retained the title. this is my first poem in... six years? yeah. or something. i'm not very good, even before when i used to really write... so don't expect any great shakes (as bea would say ;p). must be the damp weather talking.
anyway, i'm planning to put up a litblog, where i can post poems and narratives (short stories, dialogues, manuscripts etc) since i really wanna start writing again. i miss the feeling of being able to express myself through words that are in themselves, wanting to be expressed and being expressions all at the same time. there's something about poetry that's so personal and soulful, and i want to be able to create something like that again.
on loop: oh well ~ boyz II men
a minute or two
if i had a minute or two
i would spend it with you
let the days stretch into nights
have the darkness turn to light
if you gave me a minute or two
you would see the love that grew
struggling to express itself
spread its wings and flew
if i lost a minute or two
it would matter not
since you never knew
the heart that swam in salt
if you spent a minute or two
i would give all of mine
to be the one there for you
at that space in time
but all i have is a minute or two
of wasted lifetimes and broken dreams
spiralling past my reach
torn apart at the seams
and so i go on a search across sands of time
and all i had was hope and want as my crew
and maybe just so to bide my minute or twos
trying to find when the minute was when i lost you.
****
ehehe. meet my rotten attempt to come up with an artistic poem... made one earlier during the day but dismissed it as even more rubbish than this one so i made this right on the spot (hopefully to let the creative juices flow.. to no avail), but i retained the title. this is my first poem in... six years? yeah. or something. i'm not very good, even before when i used to really write... so don't expect any great shakes (as bea would say ;p). must be the damp weather talking.
anyway, i'm planning to put up a litblog, where i can post poems and narratives (short stories, dialogues, manuscripts etc) since i really wanna start writing again. i miss the feeling of being able to express myself through words that are in themselves, wanting to be expressed and being expressions all at the same time. there's something about poetry that's so personal and soulful, and i want to be able to create something like that again.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
joke time!
joke time!
on loop: water runs dry ~ boyz II men
o eto na mga kids! joke time na 'to! (cue in jologs music) *mwahehehehe*
Who is the/is....
Chinese born during the night? Andy Lim
born blind? Kenneth Sy
born being swindled? Lino Koh
born while cooking? Nilo Toh
born as 10th child? Sam Poo
born while being courted? Lily Gaw
born fat? Bob Uy
born cannot walk? Kent Go
born little? Kathy Ting
born with real estate? Lot Te
born different? Eva Yan
born with porridge? Lino Gaw
born looking for someone? Allen Sia
born while counterfeiting? Faye King
born during Sunday? Lyn Goh
born with malice? Mali Sia
born angry with someone? Ally Tan
born with picture? Lara Huan
born with sweets? Ken Dee
born undefined? Sam Ting
born while taking a bath? Lily Goh
born while buying? Bill Lee
born secretly? Tina Goh
born pretty and sexy and perfect? shempre ako lang! (ito yung pinakamalupet na joke... yung punchline baga hahahaha)
wala nang gagaya, ok? (thanks nga pala dun sa pinag-kopyahan ko nito ahehehe) joke :D
*****
anyway. i had my final interview for THE job last night at 9PM... needless to say, i bombed it, totally. i did not expect it to go THAT bad. we were around 20 to 30 in a room and the interviewer (a really intimidating guy (pa-girl? no doubt 'bout it) whom, i hate to admit, had a really good head on his shoulders) just started throwing questions at random people (he pulled out resumes and shit), thing is, that wouldn't have been so bad but he made it so much worse by totally interrogating you and (the perfect word) attacking you by refuting your answers. gawrsh. worst interview i've had my entire life. i was shaking so bad from being rattled so much. i was doing allright throughout the application prcedure (exams, orientations, interviews) but when it came to him, i knew i had reached the end of that streak. he was demanding and unnerving all at the same time. to cut the longstory short, i still got the job. hooray! kinda tired right now so i'll elaborate on the job description later on. the feeling of being accepted was something else... i didn't expect to be so happy about it. haha, and relieved na rin, i guess. i am now officially a working individual. damn weird. anyway, bahala na. joke time na lang uli tayo! hehehe :)
on loop: water runs dry ~ boyz II men
o eto na mga kids! joke time na 'to! (cue in jologs music) *mwahehehehe*
Who is the/is....
Chinese born during the night? Andy Lim
born blind? Kenneth Sy
born being swindled? Lino Koh
born while cooking? Nilo Toh
born as 10th child? Sam Poo
born while being courted? Lily Gaw
born fat? Bob Uy
born cannot walk? Kent Go
born little? Kathy Ting
born with real estate? Lot Te
born different? Eva Yan
born with porridge? Lino Gaw
born looking for someone? Allen Sia
born while counterfeiting? Faye King
born during Sunday? Lyn Goh
born with malice? Mali Sia
born angry with someone? Ally Tan
born with picture? Lara Huan
born with sweets? Ken Dee
born undefined? Sam Ting
born while taking a bath? Lily Goh
born while buying? Bill Lee
born secretly? Tina Goh
born pretty and sexy and perfect? shempre ako lang! (ito yung pinakamalupet na joke... yung punchline baga hahahaha)
wala nang gagaya, ok? (thanks nga pala dun sa pinag-kopyahan ko nito ahehehe) joke :D
*****
anyway. i had my final interview for THE job last night at 9PM... needless to say, i bombed it, totally. i did not expect it to go THAT bad. we were around 20 to 30 in a room and the interviewer (a really intimidating guy (pa-girl? no doubt 'bout it) whom, i hate to admit, had a really good head on his shoulders) just started throwing questions at random people (he pulled out resumes and shit), thing is, that wouldn't have been so bad but he made it so much worse by totally interrogating you and (the perfect word) attacking you by refuting your answers. gawrsh. worst interview i've had my entire life. i was shaking so bad from being rattled so much. i was doing allright throughout the application prcedure (exams, orientations, interviews) but when it came to him, i knew i had reached the end of that streak. he was demanding and unnerving all at the same time. to cut the longstory short, i still got the job. hooray! kinda tired right now so i'll elaborate on the job description later on. the feeling of being accepted was something else... i didn't expect to be so happy about it. haha, and relieved na rin, i guess. i am now officially a working individual. damn weird. anyway, bahala na. joke time na lang uli tayo! hehehe :)
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
first time
first time
on loop: baby it's you ~ jojo feat. bow wow
sigh. had my job interview this afternoon in ePacific Global (a call center on the 34th floor of Antel Global Bldg in ortigas). i was asked to come at 1 PM after i sent my resume online last friday night. in typical Hyannah fashion, i came in late. fart. as in, big time late. but i wasn't too concerned about it... it's not like i'm dying to get this job or anything but i admit it was terribly unprofessional of me to do so. so anyway when i got there, first thing i noticed was that i was so underdressed. damn... everyone were in suits and stuff. and i thought i dressed up pretty well already (striped POLO, black slacks and boots plus a stupid leather bag.. haha unimaginable horror for a girl who lives on shirts, jeans and slippers). when i caught a glimpse of myself walking along the glass door-lined corridor, i got a start coz i almost couldn't recongnize myself haha. working girl na (yeuch!). so anyway, i was asked to come at 1PM pala because a certain ms.kaye (head of, like, the HR dep or something) signed me up for the training already, so needless to say, i missed it. and since she wasn't there, they asked me to come back 1t 9AM the next day. darn.
i also took an online exam... it was actually difficult. haha. i thought it wasn't going to be so hard... really made me think (and actually gave me a headache). it wasn't an IQ test or anything... it was more of communication skills exam. they ask you to complete sentences such as "I would be the happiest person in the world if __________________ ." or "My biggest frustration is ________________________ ." etc etc.. a hella lot of those, some of them really though-provoking ones that got me stumped for a while. it was also really long! like, 30 questions of the like. and under time constraint at that. then there were the essay questions too... like, dialogue-type wherein they say you have this client that's freaking out on the other line, what do you say, or something like i call some teenage bum in ohio and i have to promote a newly launched prepaid card... how would i do that etc etc. wow i wasn't ready for the test. also had to fill out an application/resume form that was 8 pages long... wow. they fished for so much info, was running out of things to put, since i was not able to prepare like a list of seminars i've attended etc etc. all of this was done in a desktop, each of us with our own. i actually dig the workplace hehe. you get your own pc, phone and file cabinet hehe.
got to meet a few people, some young'uns (fresh grads and some oldies etc.)... they really prepared for this day. they went around pa daw, asking for tips and stuff. yikes. anyway, hope i make it. for pride's sake, actually hehe. and hope i do good on the major interview tomorrow, my biggest fear is making a fool out of myself. had many of those instances already kanina... kinda intimidating coz i think i'm like, the youngest one there on the entire floor and i felt like a huge dolt, what with everyone giving me the eye or something. blech. my dad was actually really very sweet coz he drove me there and waited for me for like 3 hours... awww. i would have fallen to pieces if he wasn't there. owe him big time... couldn't have done it without him :) guess i'm not so independent after all. so that makes me think, am i really cut out for work already? hehe we'll find out soon enough ;)
on loop: baby it's you ~ jojo feat. bow wow
sigh. had my job interview this afternoon in ePacific Global (a call center on the 34th floor of Antel Global Bldg in ortigas). i was asked to come at 1 PM after i sent my resume online last friday night. in typical Hyannah fashion, i came in late. fart. as in, big time late. but i wasn't too concerned about it... it's not like i'm dying to get this job or anything but i admit it was terribly unprofessional of me to do so. so anyway when i got there, first thing i noticed was that i was so underdressed. damn... everyone were in suits and stuff. and i thought i dressed up pretty well already (striped POLO, black slacks and boots plus a stupid leather bag.. haha unimaginable horror for a girl who lives on shirts, jeans and slippers). when i caught a glimpse of myself walking along the glass door-lined corridor, i got a start coz i almost couldn't recongnize myself haha. working girl na (yeuch!). so anyway, i was asked to come at 1PM pala because a certain ms.kaye (head of, like, the HR dep or something) signed me up for the training already, so needless to say, i missed it. and since she wasn't there, they asked me to come back 1t 9AM the next day. darn.
i also took an online exam... it was actually difficult. haha. i thought it wasn't going to be so hard... really made me think (and actually gave me a headache). it wasn't an IQ test or anything... it was more of communication skills exam. they ask you to complete sentences such as "I would be the happiest person in the world if __________________ ." or "My biggest frustration is ________________________ ." etc etc.. a hella lot of those, some of them really though-provoking ones that got me stumped for a while. it was also really long! like, 30 questions of the like. and under time constraint at that. then there were the essay questions too... like, dialogue-type wherein they say you have this client that's freaking out on the other line, what do you say, or something like i call some teenage bum in ohio and i have to promote a newly launched prepaid card... how would i do that etc etc. wow i wasn't ready for the test. also had to fill out an application/resume form that was 8 pages long... wow. they fished for so much info, was running out of things to put, since i was not able to prepare like a list of seminars i've attended etc etc. all of this was done in a desktop, each of us with our own. i actually dig the workplace hehe. you get your own pc, phone and file cabinet hehe.
got to meet a few people, some young'uns (fresh grads and some oldies etc.)... they really prepared for this day. they went around pa daw, asking for tips and stuff. yikes. anyway, hope i make it. for pride's sake, actually hehe. and hope i do good on the major interview tomorrow, my biggest fear is making a fool out of myself. had many of those instances already kanina... kinda intimidating coz i think i'm like, the youngest one there on the entire floor and i felt like a huge dolt, what with everyone giving me the eye or something. blech. my dad was actually really very sweet coz he drove me there and waited for me for like 3 hours... awww. i would have fallen to pieces if he wasn't there. owe him big time... couldn't have done it without him :) guess i'm not so independent after all. so that makes me think, am i really cut out for work already? hehe we'll find out soon enough ;)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
excited
excited
on loop: sunday morning ~ maroon 5
i am SO excited to start working. even if the field/industry i have chosen to enter (call center industry) isn't so prominent, it pays big. muhahaha! it's all bout the money! just kidding Ü don't want to seem like such a money fiend here. i'm just really glad to be trying out something new. i've learned a lot these past few nights (thanks bern hehe) about telecommunications and telemarketing... mainly outsourcing and inbound/outbound sales production. my friend prodded me just last night (more like at 4am this afternoon) to send my resume to a couple of these companies through the internet. everything's so high-falutin nowadays! i thought i had to scour the newspaper for call center job openings haha. i'm such a fuddy-duddy. so, i did send out my resume to a couple of these companies (ePacific Global and Epixtar Telecommunications). my application to ePacific was sent back to me with the reason that there was some inetrnat server error 505 blahblah, so i thought nothing became of that. but lo and behold, when i came home this afternoon, my dad said a Kaye called. Kaye?, isaid, I didn't know a Kaye...
turns out she was from ePacific Global (34/F Antel Global Bldg., Julia Vargas Ave., Ortigas) and she set me up for an appointment on monday at 1PM. i have yet to return her call and confirm my initial interview since i'm waiting for my friend Bea to apply herself. my other friend said it's very rare that they be the ones to call you and so soon at that, usually it's the applicant that has to wait long, long days (even weeks) for any word from them. applicants also have to get to these offices at like, 7am just so they could be first in the LONG line of applicants vying for an interview. i should be so lucky daw that i was given some degree of priority. very cool. thank you for, God this little grace that could go a long way with your will.
*****
here's something cool to try when you're bored: while sitting down, try turning your right leg clockwise... then try drawing imaginary number six (6) figures in the sir with your right hand/arm. your leg will change direction no matter how you try to keep it from doing so. there's nothing you can do about it! mwahahaha (of course, you could stop doing those silly little circles and trying to figure out how'd that happen... ;p).
on loop: sunday morning ~ maroon 5
i am SO excited to start working. even if the field/industry i have chosen to enter (call center industry) isn't so prominent, it pays big. muhahaha! it's all bout the money! just kidding Ü don't want to seem like such a money fiend here. i'm just really glad to be trying out something new. i've learned a lot these past few nights (thanks bern hehe) about telecommunications and telemarketing... mainly outsourcing and inbound/outbound sales production. my friend prodded me just last night (more like at 4am this afternoon) to send my resume to a couple of these companies through the internet. everything's so high-falutin nowadays! i thought i had to scour the newspaper for call center job openings haha. i'm such a fuddy-duddy. so, i did send out my resume to a couple of these companies (ePacific Global and Epixtar Telecommunications). my application to ePacific was sent back to me with the reason that there was some inetrnat server error 505 blahblah, so i thought nothing became of that. but lo and behold, when i came home this afternoon, my dad said a Kaye called. Kaye?, isaid, I didn't know a Kaye...
turns out she was from ePacific Global (34/F Antel Global Bldg., Julia Vargas Ave., Ortigas) and she set me up for an appointment on monday at 1PM. i have yet to return her call and confirm my initial interview since i'm waiting for my friend Bea to apply herself. my other friend said it's very rare that they be the ones to call you and so soon at that, usually it's the applicant that has to wait long, long days (even weeks) for any word from them. applicants also have to get to these offices at like, 7am just so they could be first in the LONG line of applicants vying for an interview. i should be so lucky daw that i was given some degree of priority. very cool. thank you for, God this little grace that could go a long way with your will.
*****
here's something cool to try when you're bored: while sitting down, try turning your right leg clockwise... then try drawing imaginary number six (6) figures in the sir with your right hand/arm. your leg will change direction no matter how you try to keep it from doing so. there's nothing you can do about it! mwahahaha (of course, you could stop doing those silly little circles and trying to figure out how'd that happen... ;p).
Thursday, November 04, 2004
dreams and dreamers
dreams and dreamers
on loop: look what you've done ~ jet
"look what you've done, you've made a fool out of everyone... it seems such fun, until you lose what you've won." - look what you've done, jet
isn't it so funny that dreams come when we are in slumber? probably because at that interval between life and death, we are at rest and up to some degree, some form of peace. it is at these moments that we are free to picture the things that we would want for ourselves... plans and ambitions, wants and desires, minus the harsh realities of the waking world that somehow get between dreams and reality. we see what we would like to achieve for ourselves, what we would want to have and hold. what's so funny is that even if these beautiful ideas come in sleep, one must wake up and leave these dreams behind in order to reach them for real. i'm not being very clear here with what i'm trying to say, but someday the point will come.
i am so pissed, actually. the gravity of the situation only dawned on me a few minutes ago. i am out of school i am part of the population that should be in school, but is not. the sucky thing about this is that, i want to be in school... i can afford it, i have a school and i have plans. i know i'm being so selfish right now, just whining and complaining about things i brought about myself, but i just cannot deal with the fact that i was dropped like a hot potato by the school i have grown to love, admire, and pledge loyalty to. just because i could not shift into another course. where's the justice in that? well, i suppose i deserve this, i know i really do. that much i admit. but that doesn't mean i can handle it. because right now, i am just at a loss.
for the first time in the entire period from when my memory began to work, i am not in school. i honestly cannot recall a time when i was not enrolled in an educational institution, and the thought that i am out in the open field with nothing to my name but time and failure, is extremely disconcerting. i have no idea what to do. it isn't so easy, after all. i cannot afford to go lying around, really. first, because it is against my nature to be unproductive, not stressed and un-busy. second, i have no money to throw around while waiting for the world to come pick me back up again. and third, i am not prepared to face issues like this... but at the same time, no one else can fix it for me. i just have to face the music, i have failed... big time. there goes everything i had going for myself.
people might say things such as i'm being fatalistic or that i'm a silly girl or that there are more, much more people out there in worse situations than i am. i know that, but the thing is, i am not in their shoes... and they are not in mine. so let's just deal with our own problems, allright? it wouldn't be a problem if it weren't barricading me from something. and this something is a good future. then again, a problem isn't a problem if there isn't a solution. i have always told myself that. my dad told me that this is my "destiny for this matter" and he even went as far as to say that i will have an extremely difficult time to achieve my life-long dream and purpose. it's the same as saying all the hard work i've put in my whole life, no exaggeration, is now nothing. this is an all or nothing issue for me. i guess it ain't all. my dad said that this is a turning point in my life. i have turned and slipped. i've fallen.
i dunno why this is such a big deal... when people always fall out of school and stuff. but the thing is, i was happy with how my life was going. everything was in perspective. and suddenly, in a snap, it's all gone. it's not just being in school... it's the fact that i was in the school of my dreams, in the course of my dreams, living out my dream and yet i let it slip away because i let myself make wrong decisions. i guess i'm so miserable right now because i have no purpose anymore whatsoever. i have lost everything i have worked for. and i don't think i can get it back. and no, i don't want to busy myslef with 'other' things 'just for the heck of it', because that would be stupid. and i don't wanna be stupid anymore. for now, this is my time to be miserable and wallow in the fact that i suck. people should just please grant me this tiem and space to bang my head on the proverbial wall and try to reprimand myself and at the same time, knock some sense into my head.
"i was once a dreamer. i dreamed big dreams and hurdled many nightmares while i was at it. then the time came that i woke up and realized dreams aren't all they're made out to be. now i know where bitter realists come from." - |ñ??æ|, 11-05-04
on loop: look what you've done ~ jet
"look what you've done, you've made a fool out of everyone... it seems such fun, until you lose what you've won." - look what you've done, jet
isn't it so funny that dreams come when we are in slumber? probably because at that interval between life and death, we are at rest and up to some degree, some form of peace. it is at these moments that we are free to picture the things that we would want for ourselves... plans and ambitions, wants and desires, minus the harsh realities of the waking world that somehow get between dreams and reality. we see what we would like to achieve for ourselves, what we would want to have and hold. what's so funny is that even if these beautiful ideas come in sleep, one must wake up and leave these dreams behind in order to reach them for real. i'm not being very clear here with what i'm trying to say, but someday the point will come.
i am so pissed, actually. the gravity of the situation only dawned on me a few minutes ago. i am out of school i am part of the population that should be in school, but is not. the sucky thing about this is that, i want to be in school... i can afford it, i have a school and i have plans. i know i'm being so selfish right now, just whining and complaining about things i brought about myself, but i just cannot deal with the fact that i was dropped like a hot potato by the school i have grown to love, admire, and pledge loyalty to. just because i could not shift into another course. where's the justice in that? well, i suppose i deserve this, i know i really do. that much i admit. but that doesn't mean i can handle it. because right now, i am just at a loss.
for the first time in the entire period from when my memory began to work, i am not in school. i honestly cannot recall a time when i was not enrolled in an educational institution, and the thought that i am out in the open field with nothing to my name but time and failure, is extremely disconcerting. i have no idea what to do. it isn't so easy, after all. i cannot afford to go lying around, really. first, because it is against my nature to be unproductive, not stressed and un-busy. second, i have no money to throw around while waiting for the world to come pick me back up again. and third, i am not prepared to face issues like this... but at the same time, no one else can fix it for me. i just have to face the music, i have failed... big time. there goes everything i had going for myself.
people might say things such as i'm being fatalistic or that i'm a silly girl or that there are more, much more people out there in worse situations than i am. i know that, but the thing is, i am not in their shoes... and they are not in mine. so let's just deal with our own problems, allright? it wouldn't be a problem if it weren't barricading me from something. and this something is a good future. then again, a problem isn't a problem if there isn't a solution. i have always told myself that. my dad told me that this is my "destiny for this matter" and he even went as far as to say that i will have an extremely difficult time to achieve my life-long dream and purpose. it's the same as saying all the hard work i've put in my whole life, no exaggeration, is now nothing. this is an all or nothing issue for me. i guess it ain't all. my dad said that this is a turning point in my life. i have turned and slipped. i've fallen.
i dunno why this is such a big deal... when people always fall out of school and stuff. but the thing is, i was happy with how my life was going. everything was in perspective. and suddenly, in a snap, it's all gone. it's not just being in school... it's the fact that i was in the school of my dreams, in the course of my dreams, living out my dream and yet i let it slip away because i let myself make wrong decisions. i guess i'm so miserable right now because i have no purpose anymore whatsoever. i have lost everything i have worked for. and i don't think i can get it back. and no, i don't want to busy myslef with 'other' things 'just for the heck of it', because that would be stupid. and i don't wanna be stupid anymore. for now, this is my time to be miserable and wallow in the fact that i suck. people should just please grant me this tiem and space to bang my head on the proverbial wall and try to reprimand myself and at the same time, knock some sense into my head.
"i was once a dreamer. i dreamed big dreams and hurdled many nightmares while i was at it. then the time came that i woke up and realized dreams aren't all they're made out to be. now i know where bitter realists come from." - |ñ??æ|, 11-05-04
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
realizations
realizations
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i realized something just now..... i'm too trivial. i don't take things seriously, i don't even take myself seriously. i dilly-dally too much with nonsense. i should definitely take control now. i want to let go of past baggage... forget all the pressures and stress that have been part of what put me down. of course, it's not that easy. i know that i simply cannot forget responsibilities... i just don't want to deal with them right now. i need some time for myself and with myself. as much as possible, i want to start anew. i feel like i am somehow... changing? not totally, but i guess in some ways that i have to. i also realized that too many other things occupied my mind (past tense, i'm trying to forget them) these past few months. i didn't get to arrange my priorities. i should have sensed what i needed and what i wanted... what could wait and what couldn't... what were immature nonsense and valuable necessities. i also realize that i associated myself with many things that i really didn't need and could have done without. tsk tsk shucks the mistakes.
i now know how to value my time more... everyone really should learn to look in upon themselves and see all the leaks and broken floorboards that somehow need repair. contemplation, as they call it. after which i bet one would come out refreshed and with a renewed sense of life. i thought i was pretty sensible... i was wrong. whenever i sat down and tried to sort out my thoughts, i end up shifting the blame to someone else or something else outside of myself. that way, i think i was unconsciously wiping myself free of blame and responsibility. now, i know better. that theres is no other way to deal with a problem than to face it. not put it off for later, hoping it'll rememdy itself on it's own. that doesn't work in this side of the universe. now my only problems are the leftover problems from the past. i have no intention of escaping them or leaving them be, i will fix them. but i want to do so on my own volition. all i ask for is some time work things out. no stress and pressure. i feel as if i would retalliate and then crumble into pieces if faced with pressure and stress. not very good. i am somehow at peace now. *crosses legs and eyes, then hums a buddhist chant* just kidding hehe Ü
on loop: say you love me ~ simply red
i realized something just now..... i'm too trivial. i don't take things seriously, i don't even take myself seriously. i dilly-dally too much with nonsense. i should definitely take control now. i want to let go of past baggage... forget all the pressures and stress that have been part of what put me down. of course, it's not that easy. i know that i simply cannot forget responsibilities... i just don't want to deal with them right now. i need some time for myself and with myself. as much as possible, i want to start anew. i feel like i am somehow... changing? not totally, but i guess in some ways that i have to. i also realized that too many other things occupied my mind (past tense, i'm trying to forget them) these past few months. i didn't get to arrange my priorities. i should have sensed what i needed and what i wanted... what could wait and what couldn't... what were immature nonsense and valuable necessities. i also realize that i associated myself with many things that i really didn't need and could have done without. tsk tsk shucks the mistakes.
i now know how to value my time more... everyone really should learn to look in upon themselves and see all the leaks and broken floorboards that somehow need repair. contemplation, as they call it. after which i bet one would come out refreshed and with a renewed sense of life. i thought i was pretty sensible... i was wrong. whenever i sat down and tried to sort out my thoughts, i end up shifting the blame to someone else or something else outside of myself. that way, i think i was unconsciously wiping myself free of blame and responsibility. now, i know better. that theres is no other way to deal with a problem than to face it. not put it off for later, hoping it'll rememdy itself on it's own. that doesn't work in this side of the universe. now my only problems are the leftover problems from the past. i have no intention of escaping them or leaving them be, i will fix them. but i want to do so on my own volition. all i ask for is some time work things out. no stress and pressure. i feel as if i would retalliate and then crumble into pieces if faced with pressure and stress. not very good. i am somehow at peace now. *crosses legs and eyes, then hums a buddhist chant* just kidding hehe Ü
Monday, November 01, 2004
acid test
acid test
on loop: these words ~ natasha bedingfield
it's such a shock to have your life all planned out one minute, then all empty and non-directional the next. so weird to have it happen right in front of you and yet you hardly saw it coming. that's probably what they mean when they say "you wouldn't know it till it bit you right in the nose". roughly 72 hours ago, i had quite a vivid blueprint of how i was going to live out the near future. i was going to study, of course, it is my number one priority (up there with family and God). it would be a prerequisite for my number two priority, career. i didn't want to end up as some jobless bum roaming around for hand-me-downs. i do not want to be mediocre. and i do not want to live a life of regret, knowing that at one point, i had somehow let go of everything because of several stupid decisions.
stopping school for this coming semester is not a decision for me. it is a consequence. though i could say that i could have stayed in school, i know that i am headed downhill. it's too soon to say that this LOA might be for the better, because i don't know if it really is. i should have made better use of my time these past few months. i was too jaded to realize that life cannot be lived on a day to day basis... i should have had some sense of forethought and planning for the future. i had forgotten about tomorrows, and lived for todays and yesterday. my dad told me that tomorrows are merely today's yesterdays, or something to that effect. he said that i am being put on "acid test", to determine what, i am not sure.
going on LOA isn't really a big, dramatic deal. i guess it's just the disappointment and loss of time that's not settling that well with me. i cannot afford to lie around thinking of things to do with my life... i have to keep moving. but unfortunately, things took a turn for something else. i know that there really is no one else to blame but me. i failed to be efficient with my life. i really should have known better. it really is true what my mom always told me when i was young that "nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi (regret is always at the end)". i should have listened to my parents. they certainly knew better. but i don't believe in dwelling on should-haves and what-ifs... contemplating about them is good enough, but as soon as you get the lesson out of the experience, i think i should move on and quit regrets and finger-pointing.
as of now, i really don't want to deal with any stress or pressure. i want to plan my time well. i'm thinking of getting a job, in a (typical filipino fashion) call center if ever i can learn the ropes of landing a job there. it's better that i earn some money while i'm not in school. my friend's sister works in one and he might help me apply there. it's not so easy as it seems after all, there are certain terms (such as CSR and TSR) regarding the industry that i should be familiar with. starting pay is around 12k a month. not so bad, i guess. i want to keep myself busy for the 6 months or so that i'll be out of school. it'll be my first real taste of life outside the academic environment. i'm scared, i admit. it is after all, my first tiem to venture into this. i want to be independent for now, and try to develop myself and know for sure what i really want in life. i shouldn't be dilly-dallying as if the years would just regress while waiting for me to make up my mind.
i hope that this time would be productive for me and that i'll be able to make up for lost time. if luck so provides, i would be able to grow and be more responsible and mature. i think i've been living too much of a teenager's life, with no worries and such. i should learn to let go of that mentality, even if i would want to remain young for as long as i could. maybe this time would be a good opportunity for me to work on myself, by myself. i want to see how well i'd do on my own. it's not as if i'm running away from home or what, my dad will still be around to guide and support me but i want to try to be more active in running my life. not just "going with the flow". i should set my priorities straight. i now know that in order for me to follow through with this plan, i should make some sacrifices and lifestyle changes. i should be able to let go of certain things and at the same time, acquire some others. it won't be easy but i keep in mind that i'm doing this for myself and ultimately, for everyone around me. hope i do well on the test... and that the acid won't sting too bad.
on loop: these words ~ natasha bedingfield
it's such a shock to have your life all planned out one minute, then all empty and non-directional the next. so weird to have it happen right in front of you and yet you hardly saw it coming. that's probably what they mean when they say "you wouldn't know it till it bit you right in the nose". roughly 72 hours ago, i had quite a vivid blueprint of how i was going to live out the near future. i was going to study, of course, it is my number one priority (up there with family and God). it would be a prerequisite for my number two priority, career. i didn't want to end up as some jobless bum roaming around for hand-me-downs. i do not want to be mediocre. and i do not want to live a life of regret, knowing that at one point, i had somehow let go of everything because of several stupid decisions.
stopping school for this coming semester is not a decision for me. it is a consequence. though i could say that i could have stayed in school, i know that i am headed downhill. it's too soon to say that this LOA might be for the better, because i don't know if it really is. i should have made better use of my time these past few months. i was too jaded to realize that life cannot be lived on a day to day basis... i should have had some sense of forethought and planning for the future. i had forgotten about tomorrows, and lived for todays and yesterday. my dad told me that tomorrows are merely today's yesterdays, or something to that effect. he said that i am being put on "acid test", to determine what, i am not sure.
going on LOA isn't really a big, dramatic deal. i guess it's just the disappointment and loss of time that's not settling that well with me. i cannot afford to lie around thinking of things to do with my life... i have to keep moving. but unfortunately, things took a turn for something else. i know that there really is no one else to blame but me. i failed to be efficient with my life. i really should have known better. it really is true what my mom always told me when i was young that "nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi (regret is always at the end)". i should have listened to my parents. they certainly knew better. but i don't believe in dwelling on should-haves and what-ifs... contemplating about them is good enough, but as soon as you get the lesson out of the experience, i think i should move on and quit regrets and finger-pointing.
as of now, i really don't want to deal with any stress or pressure. i want to plan my time well. i'm thinking of getting a job, in a (typical filipino fashion) call center if ever i can learn the ropes of landing a job there. it's better that i earn some money while i'm not in school. my friend's sister works in one and he might help me apply there. it's not so easy as it seems after all, there are certain terms (such as CSR and TSR) regarding the industry that i should be familiar with. starting pay is around 12k a month. not so bad, i guess. i want to keep myself busy for the 6 months or so that i'll be out of school. it'll be my first real taste of life outside the academic environment. i'm scared, i admit. it is after all, my first tiem to venture into this. i want to be independent for now, and try to develop myself and know for sure what i really want in life. i shouldn't be dilly-dallying as if the years would just regress while waiting for me to make up my mind.
i hope that this time would be productive for me and that i'll be able to make up for lost time. if luck so provides, i would be able to grow and be more responsible and mature. i think i've been living too much of a teenager's life, with no worries and such. i should learn to let go of that mentality, even if i would want to remain young for as long as i could. maybe this time would be a good opportunity for me to work on myself, by myself. i want to see how well i'd do on my own. it's not as if i'm running away from home or what, my dad will still be around to guide and support me but i want to try to be more active in running my life. not just "going with the flow". i should set my priorities straight. i now know that in order for me to follow through with this plan, i should make some sacrifices and lifestyle changes. i should be able to let go of certain things and at the same time, acquire some others. it won't be easy but i keep in mind that i'm doing this for myself and ultimately, for everyone around me. hope i do well on the test... and that the acid won't sting too bad.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
tick tock
tick tock
on loop: dare you to move ~ switchfoot
missed taking these *&@^%9$# (nothing profane or derogatory, don't worry) net quizzes :) more to come, i bet hehe.
*****
so much time, so little stuff to do. i need a life. and a direction too, i guess.
on loop: dare you to move ~ switchfoot
| How to make a Hyan |
| Ingredients: 5 parts friendliness 5 parts brilliance 1 part grace |
| Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge! |
missed taking these *&@^%9$# (nothing profane or derogatory, don't worry) net quizzes :) more to come, i bet hehe.
*****
so much time, so little stuff to do. i need a life. and a direction too, i guess.
immersion
immersion
on loop: fields of gold ~ sting
i remember something my friend bea told me some time back... the only way to truly realize something is if you truly let yourself feel... feel the emotion, be it hurt, anger, pain, joy, love, loss or whatever. once you cherish and savor the feeling, it is only at that moment that you will realize the enormity of the situation. and probably, you will have a clearer idea of what to do. allow yourself to feel the moment, and after you have exhausted the moment, that is when you can employ rationalization. i suppose this sort of mentality applies to my current situation right now. it still remains hazy and unclear to me what the future has in store, but i think that i must first sit down and sort out my feelings first before i can be able to put my mind to work. everything is still up in the air, actually. nothing is for sure yet though i do feel that i am headed that way already. i am just praying that i will be able to deal with whatever comes my way, be it disappointment, frustration, confusion, etcetera. there are too many things happening to me right now that i hardly have enough time nor strenght to catch up with it. i try to get by day by day, and i also only hope that the days don't take me astray... and let me lose everything i hold dear to me.
*****
had dinner with pam after we had the pictures taken of our birthdays developed. cool pictures! will post some here as soon as i can get them scanned. we also watched 'before sunset'... hrmmm. the movie was done in real time, meaning the length of the entire movie (roughly 90 minutes) was also about 90 minutes of the characters' lives. no skips and cuts from one scene to another. it was all about 90 minutes in the lives of jessie wallace (ethan hawke) and celine (julie delpy). story of love found, lost and regained. this film is a sequel of the 1994 film 'before sunrise'. the format was refreshing and was full of beautiful thoughts on love and life. after the movie, we walked around and got coffee. got home a little past twelve. had fun, thanks pam Ü
lapit na pasukan! hope everyone made good use of their sembreaks. and that everyone got good schedules and professors this coming sem... Ü
on loop: fields of gold ~ sting
i remember something my friend bea told me some time back... the only way to truly realize something is if you truly let yourself feel... feel the emotion, be it hurt, anger, pain, joy, love, loss or whatever. once you cherish and savor the feeling, it is only at that moment that you will realize the enormity of the situation. and probably, you will have a clearer idea of what to do. allow yourself to feel the moment, and after you have exhausted the moment, that is when you can employ rationalization. i suppose this sort of mentality applies to my current situation right now. it still remains hazy and unclear to me what the future has in store, but i think that i must first sit down and sort out my feelings first before i can be able to put my mind to work. everything is still up in the air, actually. nothing is for sure yet though i do feel that i am headed that way already. i am just praying that i will be able to deal with whatever comes my way, be it disappointment, frustration, confusion, etcetera. there are too many things happening to me right now that i hardly have enough time nor strenght to catch up with it. i try to get by day by day, and i also only hope that the days don't take me astray... and let me lose everything i hold dear to me.
*****
had dinner with pam after we had the pictures taken of our birthdays developed. cool pictures! will post some here as soon as i can get them scanned. we also watched 'before sunset'... hrmmm. the movie was done in real time, meaning the length of the entire movie (roughly 90 minutes) was also about 90 minutes of the characters' lives. no skips and cuts from one scene to another. it was all about 90 minutes in the lives of jessie wallace (ethan hawke) and celine (julie delpy). story of love found, lost and regained. this film is a sequel of the 1994 film 'before sunrise'. the format was refreshing and was full of beautiful thoughts on love and life. after the movie, we walked around and got coffee. got home a little past twelve. had fun, thanks pam Ü
lapit na pasukan! hope everyone made good use of their sembreaks. and that everyone got good schedules and professors this coming sem... Ü
Friday, October 29, 2004
dawn
dawn
Do What You Have To Do ~ Sarah McLachlan
What ravages of spirit,
Conjured this temptuous rage?
Created you a monster,
Broken by the rules of love.
And fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do ...
And I have the sense to recognize,
that I don’t know how to let you go.
Every moment marked,
With apparitions of your soul.
I’m ever swiftly moving,
Trying to escape this desire.
The yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do.
But I have the sense to recognize,
That I don’t know how to let you go...
I don’t know how to let you go.
A glowing ember
Burning hot, burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you,
I do what I have to do.
I know I can’t be with you,
I do what I have to do.
And I have sense to recognize but
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go.
*****
i have made one of the biggest decisions i have ever had to make in my life. i hope i made the right one. and i also hope that things would go according to planned. just in case anyone would care to know (could be me, in a few years time when i look back to this time), the three years i have been in ateneo have been among the very best i have ever had and quite possibly, will ever have.
Do What You Have To Do ~ Sarah McLachlan
What ravages of spirit,
Conjured this temptuous rage?
Created you a monster,
Broken by the rules of love.
And fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it,
You do what you have to do ...
And I have the sense to recognize,
that I don’t know how to let you go.
Every moment marked,
With apparitions of your soul.
I’m ever swiftly moving,
Trying to escape this desire.
The yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you,
I do what I have to do.
But I have the sense to recognize,
That I don’t know how to let you go...
I don’t know how to let you go.
A glowing ember
Burning hot, burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you,
I do what I have to do.
I know I can’t be with you,
I do what I have to do.
And I have sense to recognize but
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go.
*****
i have made one of the biggest decisions i have ever had to make in my life. i hope i made the right one. and i also hope that things would go according to planned. just in case anyone would care to know (could be me, in a few years time when i look back to this time), the three years i have been in ateneo have been among the very best i have ever had and quite possibly, will ever have.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
pagmumuni-muni
pagmumuni-muni
naniniwala ako na kung tunay nga namang nararapat sa iyo ay makakamtan mo. pero paano naman kapag ang nararapat sa iyo ay hindi ang ninanais mo? karapat-dapat pa rin ba ito para sa iyo? sinasabi rin na kapag nakatakda na talaga para sa iyo, kahit na anong mangyari ay mangyayari sa mangyayari pa rin ito. ibig ba sabihin noon na kahit na tumulala na lang ako sa mga bituin at magmuni-muni, mapapasaakin pa rin ang tadhanang nakalaan sa akin? malamang, hindi. iyon siguro ang sagot ng nakararami. "siyempre kailangan mong pagtrabahuan ang kinabukasan mo!" ang isa sa mga maaring maging tugon sa kuro-kuro ko. o di kaya ang walang kakupas-kupas na "do your best and God will do the rest!". naniniwala nga naman ako sa mga iyan, at alam kong wala mararating ang tao kapag wala naman siyang ginagawa upang makaabot kung saan man...
pero hindi ko talaga lubos maintindihan kung bakit ba ang bagay na alam kong makabubuti sa akin at ang lubusuan ko namang pinagsisikapan ay pilit na nalalayo sa akin. kahit na naong nais kong magpatuloy, hindi na maari, dahil mayroon nang mga balakid na nakaharang sa aking daan. sana ay malampasan ko pa ang mga ito... pero iniisip ko pa lang ay tila nahihirapan na ako at nararamdaman ko na tila gusto ko na sumuko. parang wala na rin naman kasing kahahantungan kung magpumilit pa ako. sana na lamang ay mainitindihan ng mga tao sa paligid ko. mahirap ipaliwanang kung ano nga ba talaga ang sanhi ng monologong ito, dahil kahit ako ay naguguluhan rin sa aking mga sinasabi. pero ipinagdarasal ko na sana, sa hinaharap, ay maari akong tumingin pabalik sa panahon na ito at makuha pang ngumiti... dahil, kung papalarin, maiintindihan ko na rin ang mga dahilan ng mga pangyayari.
naniniwala ako na kung tunay nga namang nararapat sa iyo ay makakamtan mo. pero paano naman kapag ang nararapat sa iyo ay hindi ang ninanais mo? karapat-dapat pa rin ba ito para sa iyo? sinasabi rin na kapag nakatakda na talaga para sa iyo, kahit na anong mangyari ay mangyayari sa mangyayari pa rin ito. ibig ba sabihin noon na kahit na tumulala na lang ako sa mga bituin at magmuni-muni, mapapasaakin pa rin ang tadhanang nakalaan sa akin? malamang, hindi. iyon siguro ang sagot ng nakararami. "siyempre kailangan mong pagtrabahuan ang kinabukasan mo!" ang isa sa mga maaring maging tugon sa kuro-kuro ko. o di kaya ang walang kakupas-kupas na "do your best and God will do the rest!". naniniwala nga naman ako sa mga iyan, at alam kong wala mararating ang tao kapag wala naman siyang ginagawa upang makaabot kung saan man...
pero hindi ko talaga lubos maintindihan kung bakit ba ang bagay na alam kong makabubuti sa akin at ang lubusuan ko namang pinagsisikapan ay pilit na nalalayo sa akin. kahit na naong nais kong magpatuloy, hindi na maari, dahil mayroon nang mga balakid na nakaharang sa aking daan. sana ay malampasan ko pa ang mga ito... pero iniisip ko pa lang ay tila nahihirapan na ako at nararamdaman ko na tila gusto ko na sumuko. parang wala na rin naman kasing kahahantungan kung magpumilit pa ako. sana na lamang ay mainitindihan ng mga tao sa paligid ko. mahirap ipaliwanang kung ano nga ba talaga ang sanhi ng monologong ito, dahil kahit ako ay naguguluhan rin sa aking mga sinasabi. pero ipinagdarasal ko na sana, sa hinaharap, ay maari akong tumingin pabalik sa panahon na ito at makuha pang ngumiti... dahil, kung papalarin, maiintindihan ko na rin ang mga dahilan ng mga pangyayari.
Monday, October 25, 2004
baduyyy...
baduyyy...
just wanted to post some lyrics... not really relevant. just wanted to be slightly baduy hehe.
Ikaw Nga ~ South Border
(it's rare that i appreciate tagalog songs but this one's pretty good Ü lalang. more of the melody than the lyrics, for this one i guess. you could just hear the emotion in their voices Ü)
[I.]
Heto na naman
Nag-iisip, minsa'y nagtataka
Na sa 'kin na ang lahat
Bakit nangungulila
[II.]
At nang makita ka
Ibang sigla ang nadarama
Pag-ibig nga ba ito
Ako'y nangangamba
[Refrain I:]
Nais kong ipagtapat sa'yo
Sana'y dinggin mo
Ang lihim ng pusong ito
Kahit na tayo'y magkaibang mundo
[Chorus:]
Ikaw nga ang syang hanap-hanap
Kay tagal na ako ay nangarap
Lumuluhod, nakikiusap
Ako ay mahalin mo sinta
Ikaw nga ang syang magbabago
Sa akin, sa aking buhay
Handang iwanan ang lahat
(upang makapiling ka / para lang sa'yo) sinta
[III.]
Nang makilala ka
Ibang saya ang nadarama
Alam kong pag-ibig ito,
Anong ligaya
[Refrain II:]
Nais kong ipatapat sa 'yo
Sana'y pagbigyan
Dinggin ang puso kong ito
Kahit na tayo'y magkaibang mundo
.. upang makapiling ka sinta ..
*****
falling ~ keahiwai
(very cute song by a hawaiian girl.. easy listening Ü)
Wanna tell you baby
You're the one that Im thinking of
But your heart is still with her
And I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy
Even if it's not with me
Maybe one day
You'll open up your eyes and you'll see
[Chorus]
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think Im falling
Baby Im falling for you
[Verse 2]
From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
Will last till the end of time
But Im not so sure
That you're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no
But my heart only says that it's you
[Chorus]
Bridge:
Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold
[Chorus]
Yet still I'm falling
Maybe im falling for you
yeah I think Im falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
yeah I think Im falling
Baby Im falling for you
******
la lang... i learned that in life, you could never count on the future or on promises. for what are promises? these are simply decisions to give you something that person itself does not have yet and is not even sure yet that will have. what i'm saying is that, how can you promise the future when you don't even have it yet? not being pessimistic... just realistic. promises are nice and beautiful but not really stable and reliable. a lot could happen between now and the promise of tomorrow Ü
just wanted to post some lyrics... not really relevant. just wanted to be slightly baduy hehe.
Ikaw Nga ~ South Border
(it's rare that i appreciate tagalog songs but this one's pretty good Ü lalang. more of the melody than the lyrics, for this one i guess. you could just hear the emotion in their voices Ü)
[I.]
Heto na naman
Nag-iisip, minsa'y nagtataka
Na sa 'kin na ang lahat
Bakit nangungulila
[II.]
At nang makita ka
Ibang sigla ang nadarama
Pag-ibig nga ba ito
Ako'y nangangamba
[Refrain I:]
Nais kong ipagtapat sa'yo
Sana'y dinggin mo
Ang lihim ng pusong ito
Kahit na tayo'y magkaibang mundo
[Chorus:]
Ikaw nga ang syang hanap-hanap
Kay tagal na ako ay nangarap
Lumuluhod, nakikiusap
Ako ay mahalin mo sinta
Ikaw nga ang syang magbabago
Sa akin, sa aking buhay
Handang iwanan ang lahat
(upang makapiling ka / para lang sa'yo) sinta
[III.]
Nang makilala ka
Ibang saya ang nadarama
Alam kong pag-ibig ito,
Anong ligaya
[Refrain II:]
Nais kong ipatapat sa 'yo
Sana'y pagbigyan
Dinggin ang puso kong ito
Kahit na tayo'y magkaibang mundo
.. upang makapiling ka sinta ..
*****
falling ~ keahiwai
(very cute song by a hawaiian girl.. easy listening Ü)
Wanna tell you baby
You're the one that Im thinking of
But your heart is still with her
And I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy
Even if it's not with me
Maybe one day
You'll open up your eyes and you'll see
[Chorus]
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think Im falling
Baby Im falling for you
[Verse 2]
From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
Will last till the end of time
But Im not so sure
That you're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no
But my heart only says that it's you
[Chorus]
Bridge:
Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold
[Chorus]
Yet still I'm falling
Maybe im falling for you
yeah I think Im falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
yeah I think Im falling
Baby Im falling for you
******
la lang... i learned that in life, you could never count on the future or on promises. for what are promises? these are simply decisions to give you something that person itself does not have yet and is not even sure yet that will have. what i'm saying is that, how can you promise the future when you don't even have it yet? not being pessimistic... just realistic. promises are nice and beautiful but not really stable and reliable. a lot could happen between now and the promise of tomorrow Ü